In high school, my mindset was that when I called dibs on a guy, it would prevent him from pursuing my friends. I figured my friends would put in a good word and persuade him to date me…. In reality, a guy is going to like who he likes. You giving off a desperate energy will lead him right to your cute friend. I even think it isn’t wise to announce your crush to the group chat. Your friends might mean well, but they could ruin it for you by telling your crush and making it obvious. Everyone has had a girlfriend who wants to beat the system by claiming all the eligible men. She will claim it is against “girl code” to chat with her crush. What is the difference between “girl code” and “calling dibs” and what is asking for too much?……
What really is “girl code”…..
A rule of thumb is that when she has actually dated the guy, then do your best to leave him be. It is trashy to date her leftovers. You are always better to keep the peace with your friend. It tarnishes your reputation of not being a “girl’s girl.” This includes cheating with her boyfriend or even flirting with her current boyfriend or ex.
What is not “girl code”….
Here is the scenario…her crush has met her, has spoken to her, and has not pursued her. Sometimes, women will claim a guy for eternity so she doesn’t get hurt when he likes her friend more. Calling dibs really is hoarding men and preventing other people to find love. Sure, give her a chance at first and see if the guy is actually interested. There should be a cutoff when he has chosen not to date her.
How calling dibs comes across to men….
You are treating him like the prize when it should be the other way around. The word will get around that you have a crush on him. Your friends will be rolling their eyes once you leave the room. It doesn’t make you look confident or trusting fate that there is a perfect guy for you.
Why girl code is important…..
Crushes, and guys in general, should take more of a back seat. Women tend to weave and bend for men and cancel girls night just because she got a last minute “U up” text. Continue to live your life and enjoy your girlfriends, especially when all of you are single.
You cause so much drama when you break girl code…..
Your drama and chaos will never get you what you truly want. The guy will think less of you and see you as a floozy, not someone who has class. Fighting over men is ridiculous because there are so many men out there. It can feel like the only men worth dating are in your small circle – I assure you other men exist. Change up your routine and go out more.
Stop thinking in scarcity and think in abundance…..
Both calling dibs and breaking girl code comes from scarcity. As I said, you are limiting yourself and thinking small. Go inward and appreciate how unique you are and what is attractive about you versus your friends. Every man has a type and there is a man who will appreciate you.
Bottom Line…..
Don’t let your friend calling dibs confuse what girl code is. In extreme cases, you need to set her straight and give her a reality check. Try to build up her self-worth and spend more quality time together. Make girls night sacred and too fun to miss out on. When she feels fulfilled, she is less likely to ditch the group to hook up in an empty parking lot with a F- boy. If you are the girl calling dibs, then ask yourself why you feel you need to hoard all the men. Some women get more of a rush by breaking girl code, such as flirting with a friend’s boyfriend or ex. Keep in mind a man who is willing to cheat will do it with anyone willing. You are not special or more beautiful than your friend. Keep your girlfriends close before they go off and get married. You can’t get the precious bonding and memories back.
Mostly Casual 