A lot of my strings have be snipped for me within a week. Two people, whom I was seeing, had to move, one for a job and one for school. In an instant, you are back to being strangers and having to pretend everything is cool. It’s all about the lessons and experience, right? The micro- casual breakups are tricky because you have to set firm boundaries for yourself. With the world of social media, your ex-lover can orbit you for the next century. Is it best to be practical in such casual relationships or should we leave the door cracked?……
Do some housecleaning first…..
When you are fresh off a separation, you don’t want a daily reminder he didn’t chose you. Mute, delete, hide from your story. You know the drill. It is important to not let him orbit you out of boredom. If he truly wants to “keep in touch,” then let him send a DM.
Life is short and life is long…..
The paradox of dating is that timing usually matters. There are situations where you have a “meet cute” then five years later you reconnect and start dating. It can be dangerous when you are holding your breath for that type of outcome. If you can stomach it, then leave a little form of communication open, and forget about it. It is mainly a case of “if he wanted to he would have” with a clause of “bad timing.”
Always be moving forward….
“Onto the next” has been my dating (and “The Rules” mantra) for a while. You can tire yourself out on the “why’s” and the “what if’s.” Trust in the universe that something better is already on its way. Your stagnant energy and looking back will only attract that stale vibe.
Men work hard for the women they want…..
In my life, I have seen my friends’ boyfriends move across the country and even to an entirely new country for them. When a man is serious, he is willing to do things like that. If he isn’t that into you, he will say “it’s not practical,” “don’t move for me,” “I need to put my career first.”
In a casual relationship he will never put you as a priority….
You cannot expect to get your situationship to make you his priority. Even if you have been seeing each other for years. Time in casual means absolutely nothing to him. Remember the “ten-year guy”? When a casual breakup happens, kiss it goodbye and do not look back.
Bottom Line…..
All breakups can be hard. It is an adjustment in your schedule and maybe you did dream about one day being chosen. It is wiser to be practical in casual situations. You can tell how a man really feels when life gets in the way. He might have to move for a job, school, or family. A man who doesn’t want to lose you knows that if he backs out, he is risking you moving on and never being with him again. In any casual arrangement, you already knew that from the beginning and now the meter has run out. Don’t put money in a broken meter. Create boundaries for yourself and do not allow him to distract you from your healing.
Mostly Casual 