I just heard of the term “beige flags,” which, in short, is not an obvious red flag or a green flag. It is the little human quirks that can grate on us all the time. These quirks could rust out the relationship. We have to understand that we can be annoying and get repetitive when we spend more and more time together. Are beige flags preventable? How can we not be the “ball and chain” in a relationship?…..
Don’t rush a relationship….
Biologically, women want to race to the finish line to feel secure and settled. When you don’t take a beat you are not allowing yourself to be in the courting phase which is arguably the best part of the relationship.
Have your own hobbies…..
I remember in high school I had a friend who worked at the mall in a shoe store. When he got a girlfriend, she would literally sit in a chair throughout his entire shift. Whether it was trust issues or not having a life, it was alarming. It felt like she was a parole officer. It is best to have your own interests and hobbies that you can do separately from each other.
Don’t abandon your friends….
In a new relationship, it’s normal to block out the world and spend every moment together. I have been on the other side as the friend, where you are completely abandoned and left in the cold. It is hard to come back to the friendship once your friends have adjusted and moved on.
Resist moving in or staying over all the time….
When you play house all the time it’s harder to get an actual commitment. Once it goes belly up, you have invested too much and will feel too scared to start over. When you live with the wrong person or out of convenience, it will ruin you for the next healthy relationship.
Be a river not a lake….
You should always be learning and growing. Conversations feel stagnate when no new information is coming in. Couples get to a boring place when nothing new or exciting is happening. It is important to still date and experience new things together.
Have a shared interest…..
It could as simple as hiking. It is important to get off the couch and to do an activity together. You need to get in the fresh air and bond. Watching a tv show together is a bonus but should not be the only thing going on.
Bottom Line…..
Every relationship can plateau into something mundane. Most expects encourage “date nights” and to live your own life. Some couples are extremely close depending on attachment styles. The avoidant attachment is more likely to notice the “beige flags” and the “ick” because it is an exit strategy. One minor thing can turn a benign beige flag into a red flag. Humans crave novelty and although comfort and security can be wonderful, there needs to be a little spice added. Having your own life, friends, dreams is going to let you bring those fruitful conversations to the table. Be a river, not a lake.
Mostly Casual 