A True Sustainable Closet

My relationship with thrifting and consumerism has changed as of late. This is probably because I am in the planning stages of moving out of my place where I have lived for seven years. In the recent past, I have had a somewhat strict policy of “one in, one out.” But the reality is I would do a monthly closet clean out, then replace with a bag full of new thrift finds. To me that is sort of missing the point of trying to be sustainable and to use what is already there. How can you be a more mindful shopper, and what are some things to chew on when it comes to the fashion landscape in general?….

Shop your closet….

This is step one. Look at your closet and think outside the box of how to style the clothes. Try things on and make sure things are your true size. If items don’t fit consider a clothing swap with friends or go to your community and try to organize one. It’s fine to donate things, but not for the intent of replacing.

Are your clothes for fashion or function?….

I just found a chunky knit infinity scarf in the back of my closet. Any fashion person would say, “oh an infinity scarf that’s so cheugy!” However, it serves a function meaning you don’t have to constantly flip the scarf or have it accidentally dangle in a toilet. This is just an example, but you should be thinking is this accessory or clothing item practical versus is it out of style?

Learn how to style your clothes you currently own….

I know you have enough clothing. Maybe you need to tuck a shirt, throw on a belt, wear a long sleeve shirt under a summer dress, etc. I keep learning how to style my clothes from trial and error and also saving styling videos on Instagram.

Sell your good clothes that you can get a profit from….

You might have been gifted expensive fashion items that are not your taste. It’s a great idea to start a Posh-mark and sell these types of clothing.

Alter your clothes….

I have become obsessed with dying my clothing. Once you do it you will become addicted. It is a great way to make your clothing flatter your personal color palette ( winter, warm spring, summer etc.), or to just change up a boring shirt. I also crop my shirts and the bottoms of jeans that are too long on me. The best shirts or pants that look great cropped is denim. It creates a beautiful frayed look that I love. For those who know how to work a sewing machine tailor your own clothes. You can take it a step further for advanced sewers by designing your own outfits or even starting a side hustle. Or go to your local tailor. They can help make a cheap thrifted jacket or pants into a custom fit.

Don’t make shopping a routine….

This can get tricky with some people, since shopping can be social, and it’s just a fun activity to do with family members or friends. You naturally will be influenced by who you are with and how much they eat or spend . It’s importantly to communicate with your shopping buddy that you are doing a “no spend month” just to see how that goes. You will naturally find another way to be social and spend time together.

Stop obsessing about micro trends…

Look, no one is immune from trends. There will always be influence to what you decide to put on. However, there are extreme pendulum trends where you go from maximalism to bare minimalism. You need to recognize that being in the middle and within your own taste is where you need to remain. Always recognize when an extreme is happening and resist the urge to burn down your closet and start fresh. It’s what they want you to do.

The “classics” are a lie…

Instead of “buying the classics,” which is a sneaky way of getting you to buy an expensive item, go with what is flattering to you or just something that you love. The classics always change, even if at a slower rate. Wear what speaks to you on a personal level.

Bottom Line….

When people read an article about cleaning out a closet, they gasp and panic about all of their special items being thrown in the trash. That is not the case here. Instead the message is to actually wear your items that you already own. And alter clothing that you want to tweak. It will breathe a new life into a garment and make you wear it more. It is also important to educate yourself about how to style your clothes. Watch stylists on social media or to read styling books. You can also use mood boards on Pinterest to help shape your taste and how it could be worn. I promise you have enough clothes to style an outfit. Consider a clothing swap and sell your designer items with Posh-mark. Lastly, resist the loop of closet clean out to filling the gap with more thrifted clothes.

Fall Thrift List

My favorite season for fashion is fall, which is no surprise since I am obsessed with jackets. For any thrifter it is always a good idea to have a running list to manifest. I am going to break down a few trends for items that should be timeless and not something to discard after a few months. What are some things to add to your thrift wish list?….

Leopard….

Keep the leopard pattern classic without an abstract interpretation. Try your best to keep the pattern in the most classic look. For those who are scared to wear such a bold pattern it is fine to get it in a belt, purse, or shoe.

Wine red, ox blood, Burgundy, cherry red….

It’s called many things, but either way it is a pretty color. A throwback to a 90s look. I remember lipstick and patent leather boots being this color. The best part is that it is a forgiving color that goes with many shades and can even look great with black and brown neutrals.

Studs….

Going with an edgy look I see not a sharp punky stud but more so a rounded or hole stud. I think this looks great as a belt or bag or even shoes.

Green….

a hot color for the fall. Personally, I love a hunter or olive green. I think that military style always looks very polished. Honestly, I love picking up camo fashion pattern pieces. I would stay away from actual uniforms, but fashion camo is very flattering and can look great on most skin tones.

Pointy boots or square toe….

You are safer overall sticking with a pointy toe. I feel it sticks around in what’s trending and it is more of a classic look. Certain rounded toes can look more dated although a classic combat boot is technically a rounded toe. The square toe might not be as hot for long and might just be popular for a short period. However if you come across a real vintage leather one, I would snag it.

Western Trend….

Speaking of pointy toe, a western boot can pull a simple look together. I feel you should find one in black just so you could get more use out of them. For me, personally, I get scared about wearing this style of boot or any boot that isn’t grippy at the bottom. I fear I will fall on my face if there is water on the floor. You can always go and purchase bottoms for your boots or go to a shoe repair spot for them to do it for you. Safety first; you don’t want to slip. But dovetailing into the Western trend in general I am still on the lookout for fringe. I think it can look very cute as a maxi-skirt, bag, jacket, or even a belt.

Whimsy Goth….

The 90s fairy celestial trend is back and I am here for it. I love a sun and moon face print. It is sort of a hippy dreamy look that can be fun to style.

Bottom Line….

The 90s are back in a big way. It all depends on your own aesthetic and taste level. Some people might want to lean hard into Western and some into a more edgy grunge look. It comes down to what you love wearing and shopping for. In my notes app I like to have a running list of items I hope to run into. But before you shop, go through your closet and get good at styling clothing first. It is more important to get creative and get inspiration from just putting a look together at zero cost.

The Brat Girl And The Rodent Boyfriend

Last year was “feral girl summer” which is an unapologetic trend for women. This year the two trends are “brat girl” and “rodent boyfriend.” The brat girl is someone who is a party girl and enjoys being single. The rodent boyfriend’s physical features look like a rat’s. He is more of an artsy creative type. I would say both of these people would be at the same party. How can you embody this trend and meet a rodent boyfriend?

Go to events….

This goes without saying. You have to show up to the party to be a party girl. Check your local paper or social media to find out what is happening.

Dress to impress….

Not to say you need to wear club wear. It is more of a female gaze-type dressing. Meaning you are NOT wearing normal (almost boring) clothes to impress men. You can lean into neon green, dye your hair purple, and wear spikey jewelry.

How to find the rodent boyfriend….

He might be at the poetry slam night, or indie movie night. Be prepared for him to man-splane about the cinema or gate-keep certain albums.

These two archetypes have different goals….

The rodent boyfriend is more introverted and prides himself in being unique. The brat girl is extroverted and wants to express herself outwardly. It can be a case of opposite attracts, but sometimes a difference in lifestyle can make it a short term summer romance.

The brat girl likes being single….

She isn’t chasing down men. Her goal isn’t to try to land a boyfriend. The point is she is having fun solo or with friends at the bar or club. This is a great lesson for many women to allow yourself to breathe and enjoy being single.

Take the brat girl attitude into the fall…

The thing about these certain summer trends is it is a way to try things out for a trial period. Hair color fades and you can donate your bright color clothes. Or… maybe this fits what you have been wanting to express. We get so bogged down with what other people want women to wear. It is nice to feel confident in going against the grain.

Bottom Line….

Both of the archetypes of being a rodent boyfriend or a brat girl are two independent people. They could cross paths and share something short-lived and that’s the point. It is living in the moment and enjoying single life. You are expressing a young attitude and outward appearance. You might dye your hair hot pink and wear intense makeup. The main thing is having fun and being with friends, most importantly, and to allow organic things to happen.

Dressing For The Female Gaze

Most millennials have been taught to dress for the male gaze. This can be a great thing to consider for when you are really getting out there with dating. There is such a thing as a correct first-date outfit: Dresses, skirts, and non-patterns are a good starting point. However, when you are in a dating break it is wonderful to explore your own personal style. There is a whole brand “man repeller” which explores style that is geared towards fashion risks and expanding. When I watch “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw’s style is truly her own taste and vibe to impress herself. How can you cultivate your own style and lean towards the female gaze?….

What do you gravitate towards naturally….

You might be shopping or thrifting and get giddy when you see a certain style or color. Follow influencers and fashion accounts on social media to get a feel of what your taste is. Usually, there is a name for the aesthetic that you can dive into. I love using key words that describe what I enjoy. For example, you might be drawn to more edgy or preppy outfits.

What are the current trends…

Not suggesting you need to jump on every bandwagon. I love watching style channels on Youtube just to get a sense of what is trending. I prefer to not look dated, but to be seen as “in the know.” The great thing about fashion is that you can look amazing at any age just by choices and silhouettes.

You don’t have to sexualize yourself….

Personally, I love to dress in a modest way. My jacket obsession will never die since it is a chic way to layer an outfit and make it all come together. Not to say you can’t wear short shorts or a low-cut shirt if that suits you. But…. ask yourself, is this for you or men? Do you get the most attention from a miniskirt and a cleavage low-cut top? Is this the only reason why you wear these items?

What is the decade that resonates with you?….

No matter what is trending, you might be drawn to the 70s or 90s, for example. It is great to play off of what makes you smile and what brings in the most compliments. You could be drawn to bright colors or certain textures.

Understand that prints and patterns can fade fast….

You are always better off peppering in patterns and mainly wearing basics to balance it out. Leopard print is back in a huge way. It is a style that you can keep and wear again. Certain patterns highlight the time period when it was big, such as chevron ( which was big in the mid-2000s). Stripes, leopard, and gingham are always in so it is a safe place to start. Prints however, are a one-of-a-kind design for the most part. It is safer to buy something unique that you enjoy.

Silhouettes and shapes….

There are certain shapes that look great on everyone. I love that we are in a wide-leg era again. It is a trend that cycles back and does not change. As far as baggy jeans, it is hard to get it to look flattering. It can make you look too bulky if it is not styled correctly. As far as loose dresses, a belt can be a great way to highlight your waist and give you some shape.

Foot wear…

Finally, comfortable shoes! I am not a heels girl, which is the most alluring to men. I personally just feel like a deer on ice in them. I might make a compromise by wearing a hefty block heel or platform Mary Janes. If you decide to purchase sneakers, go with a white, black, or neutral. Not to say a color sneaker can’t look great. As far as ballet flats, it is your call. I remember ten plus years ago I would walk sockless in a gold ballet flat. At the end of the day it was a swampy smelly mess. I do appreciate that the ballet flats are worn with socks. My favorite is more of the chunkier ones that have a sturdy sole versus a little slipper.

Purses and accessories….

Get creative, why not? This is where the styling comes into an outfit. It is easy to thrift unique belts or a fun purse or bag. It is great to have an everyday bag when you do errands. I prefer a cross-body style in order to be hands free. But why not have that bag be leather or a more luxury material? As far as going out, bags I have always had a vision of was me with a little silver sequin bag on New Year’s Eve or some cute little bag you take out when you dress up. Jewelry is a whole other thing that comes down to personal taste and style. Some people look amazing when they wear 20 necklaces. It is a matter of what physically feels right to you. I don’t love wearing earrings since they tend to itch and pull after a few hours. I love a great ring or bracelet and a simple necklace.

Bottom Line…..

Anyone who is in a “putting yourself out there, going on weekly dates” era can ignore this article. However, it is fine to have taste and stretch a little out of your comfort zone. Gather inspiration from Youtube and social media and make a shopping wish list in your notes app. It is fine to go slowly and maybe just wear a statement jacket or shoe to start. Most important is to feel excited about dressing up and stretching out of your comfort zone.

How To Do The “Mob Wife” Trend Without Looking Like A Character

In case you don’t have social media, the “mob wife” trend in fashion is a hard pivot from “quiet luxury”. This trend in particular gives permission to have fun with fashion and go in a slightly divorcée gaudy direction in the best way. However, most people do not want to copy a runway look and prefer to make it their own. Here is how to embrace the trend without looking like you stepped off the Soprano’s set…..

Fur….

This is the first giveaway that you are participating in the trend. Feel free to thrift, in fact, please thrift, do not purchase new fur. I would personally prefer to wear faux fur, mainly because I don’t want PETA to throw paint on me. I feel certain trends like this that popularizes fur again can be a problem, simply because most people do not thrift and demand new fur to be manufactured. Again….thrift, get it from your grandma, wear faux, be ethical.

Animal print….

Google pictures of Kate Moss or the “Indie Sleaze” trend. It’s sort of a rocker look that is timeless and brave. It can give you ideas of how to style your outfits.

French tips….

It is perfectly fine to glue on some press ons. For those who get manicures regardless, go more brave and bold. Try a long red nail or French tips.

Red lips….

Makeup goes back and forth between layers of makeup versus the clean girl “no makeup” look. You can pull a French girl classic and wear a red lip with minimal other makeup. This is in fact a classic look that looks great on everyone.

Logos….

This is where you can screw up the trend and look like a character. Be mindful of how loud your logos are and how many you are wearing. (Also certain logos aren’t a flex to wear). If you happen to have high-end designer logos, feel free to wear them in a belt, bag or accessory.

Jewelry….

This is your chance to get away with wearing a matching set. However, it’s smart to go by the Coco Chanel advice and take off one piece before you leave the house.

Bottom Line….

Get out of your comfort zone and embrace this trend. You can dip your toe in by just wearing a leopard-print pant or jacket. You don’t have to look like a pimp by wearing a floor-length fur coat. Thrift a coat that has a fur trim or wear a fur shrug. Look up the “Indie Sleaze” trend since I think they are pretty related. With any trend you don’t have to wear everything at once. It’s best to pepper in a few bolder pieces and maybe wear a little more jewelry if that suits you. I like fashion trends where you are allowed to have fun, so wear it while the trend is still alive and well.

Fashion Thrifting Dos and Don’ts

Over the years, I have learned from my mistakes and would like to pass them onto a novice thrifter. Some shopping faux pas cluttered my closet, had to be re-donated or thrown away. Yes, you are getting a bargain, so your mindset might be to splurge on useless fast fashion. I encourage you to treat shopping with a more sustainable mindset. Thrifting is great for the planet and your wallet. Yet, you can fall prey to a few rookie mistakes. What are some tips to stretch your dollar and be a more thoughtful shopper?….

Fabric choice…

This is hands down the most important thing to keep in mind. Since the clothes are used, they need to be cleaned properly. When fabrics are a polyester or a dreaded “wipe with a cloth,” in the long run, it is not sustainable. The fabric you should always buy is 100 % cotton. It is breathable, easy to clean, and doesn’t make you sweat as much. The second is linen, which is also a great fabric to keep you cool and easy to clean. A blend is ok as long as the fibers are natural. However, I understand that most work-out clothing is typically spandex.

Shoes…

You just need to make sure they are not on their last legs. Try on shoes and walk, see if the sole is still intact. One time, I bought sandals and when I took them home the bottoms popped out and crumbled. Make sure that the shoes are walkable and fit your lifestyle. It is tempting to purchase flashy high heels since they are cheap. The problem is you never end up wearing them and it clutters your closet.

Jackets….

Check out the men’s section first. Usually, you will get a cheaper option and a more classic look, especially in a leather jacket or denim. I personally like an oversized look in certain jacket styles. With leather and denim, do not hop on trends, meaning avoid cropped jackets or anything that is bleached (acid washed) or with too many extra designs or sewn in details. With the leather jacket, nothing beats a classic Moto jacket. If you come across a real leather classically shaped (nothing dated) jacket, then grab it. Any fake leather tends to peel. There are great vegan leather options out there; it is just rare to come across them while thrifting.

Know the brands…..

It is wise to know what brands are well-made. It is hard to tell when it is truly vintage. However, most vintage is more lasting since it is not cheap fast fashion. You might not come across high end luxury, but you could come across a nice brand that makes quality clothes. You don’t have to know all the Indie brands, but even well-known classic stores are better than a Walmart or Target brand.

Purses and bags….

This is the time to snag a going-out bag. It is fine to get something that you only wear here and there for New Year’s or a fancy date. I have gotten lucky and have found vintage Coach and Wilson’s leather, to name a few. Pick materials that will last such as leather or any natural material. Any plastic will peel and look ragged.

Tee-shirts…

This is again the time to shop the men’s section. There will be cool band tees that you can crop to make it more styled. With tee-shirts they usually run $5 so feel free to crop or cut out the collar if desired. You can even find athletic brand shirts that you pay a fraction of it new. Same thing with hoodies and sweatshirts.

Bottom Line…

Thrifting is a great opportunity to shop for less and to be sustainable. However, when you have to re-donate or when the items take over your closet, then you are missing the point. Be on top of closet clean outs and have a sense of clothing you wear all the time. A great find is something you can wear for all the seasons and can be dressed up or down. It is best to keep in mind classic cuts, shapes, and what brands are well made. Fabric choice is the number-one concern that will save you time and energy. Think long-term with materials and fabrics. You want things that will last and be easy to clean. Don’t be afraid to shop the men’s section. There are plenty of hidden gems that will be slightly cheaper. Last tip is to know the store’s policy. Some shops will allow you to return the item as long as you have the tags still on and the receipt. You will get back some store credit and save money on your next shop.

Common Fashion Phobias And How To Combat Them

Why are you so dressed up?….I shudder when I hear that phrase…. most people fear looking too pulled together. On top of that you can trigger criticism from insecure people. This can cause you to dress down and play it very safe to please others. This dovetails into what I call “fashion phobias.” Basically, it’s when you have decided there are certain clothing items that are forbidden. What are some common ones and how can you give yourself exposure therapy?…..

“The Leather Jacket”…..

“I’m not cool enough to wear this.” I felt this way for a long time. I thought it was reserved only for people in a punk band. I finally broke down and bought one at a thrift store last year. My tip is to go with a classic cut. Avoid any studs or dated designs. Mine is simple, and has a tie to cinch the waist. Yes, you can go with a Moto jacket since it does not go out of style, but stick with the classics and don’t buy anything too bulky.

“The White Outfit”….

“I will spill ketchup on it.” White does not look great on every skin tone. For me, I don’t look good in white since it washes me out. For those who look stunning in white you should not deprive yourself. When you wear all white it gives off a generational wealth vibe. You should wash your whites in bleach to keep them looking crisp. As far as life happening, save your white look for something more upscale. It isn’t a great choice to wear to a BBQ.

“The Heels”….

“I will twist my ankle.” Certain heels are for the brave. You really have to be honest about how balanced you are when you walk. My solution is to wear a block heel. It still reads as feminine and it can ease your mind. I would pick a nude or tan option to streamline your look and make your legs look longer.

“The Tight Dress”…..

“I will look like a sausage in casing.” There is such a thing as too tight, but usually women stay away from anything remotely fitting. Oversize items are a safety blanket and can make you feel you are wearing a magic invisibility cloak. There is a way to wear oversized, but to have everything oversized is not the way to go. Because of Kim Kardashian shape-wear is popular for a younger dynamic. You will feel more confident in a more fitted dress when you have the protection of Spanx or Skims.

“Trendy Jeans”…..

“I will look like I am trying too hard.” Denim can be a good way to try something trendy without too much risk. You need to resist any trend that does not flatter your particular body. That could mean the ultra high waist or low waist, skinny, baggy, all that. A classic for any clothing item is the middle. Not too baggy, not too tight, not too low rise. Sometimes you get lucky and a denim trend that looks amazing on you comes back around. Go with brands like Levi’s or vintage Gap. When you get a flattering cut and wash you will look effortless and not that you are overdoing it.

Bottom Line….

There was an amazing sketch on “Saturday Night Live” that was titled “fashion coward.” It was women who could only stomach wearing gray hoodies. This is hilarious because it is so relatable. When you are not feeling confident you want to blend into the background, picking oversized plain clothing without any style. You can be discouraged by others when you start to level up your look. They will say passive-aggressive things like, “Wow, where are you going all dressed up!” Resist apologizing for looking good. Say a simple thank you and keep it moving. Having a total fashion overload can be overwhelming. Take baby steps to step outside your comfort zone on your next shopping trip. Pepper in more stylish items with the basics. You deserve to look good and be noticed.

Spring Forward Into Fresh Date Outfits

Spring is a transitional season. You aren’t covered up by a heavy jacket and hat, but you still have some modesty with a light jacket. Having that extra layer can give you that structure and polish to an outfit. Spring cleaning should extend into your closet. Do a try-on-and-donate day. It is best to still see what fits and what is not flattering. I always say you can make this fun by inviting friends over to give you feedback. It is helpful to hear what outsiders have to say and get a second opinion. What are some clothing options to look out for on your next shopping trip?….

The Jean Jacket….

When I go thrifting, I make sure the jacket is from The Gap, Old Navy, or Levis, etc. I would steer away from trendy cropped or too-many-detailed designs. Even the wash is important. It should not be an acid wash or ripped. This will help you be able to continue to wear the jacket for years and not have to donate it after a few months. When done right, the jean jacket looks casually dressed up and adds an extra layer of freshness to any outfit.

Watch fashion YouTube videos….

Watching a YouTube video will at least show you what is in style. It does not mean you have to participate in every trend. It gives you a sense of what lengths and cuts are in style, and more importantly, what is outdated. Classics, such as a trench coat or a little black dress, stay in style, but certain cuts of jeans will change. Speaking of jeans, it is an easy way to update your overall look by going for what the current denim trends are.

Remember this is a date….

Dating outfits will probably be slightly different from your regular going-out looks. It’s important to dress more feminine and less trendy, mainly because certain trends may not be that flattering. Not to say you have to wear a mini skirt and high heels. Try to stay away from unisex shoes (guilty). I love my boots, but there are different types of boots you can choose that give more of a girly look. Make sure your clothes overall fit you and are not super oversized. It is best to show your shape without feeling naked. Try to wear skirts and dresses as much as you can no matter the length.

Dress for your body type….

You can determine what your natural shape is by taking a few quizzes online. There are things certain body types should either avoid wearing or embrace. For example, if you are more of an hourglass, it is always advised to showcase your waist. This could be through a belt, or more fitted clothing. When the waist is lost, visually you might look shapeless. This also means showcasing your assets. It is best to pick the body part that you are confident to show off. Be brave and wear shorter skirts if you love your legs, for example.

Wear what is going to make you feel confident…..

There is nothing worse than feeling completely uncomfortable in your clothes. Make sure your clothes are physically not too tight or pitching you and wear your actual size. We get obsessed with the number on the size, but you need to ignore it and pick clothes that actually fit your body. This does not mean wear sweatpants and a large tee shirt because it is comfortable. You do have to get out of your comfort zone a little bit. However, certain fabrics and cuts can give you that comfort while giving you the structure of an outfit.

Fabric choices….

Please donate all your 100% polyester clothes! You need your fabrics to be breathable in every season and be easy to clean. I love cotton the best since it does not have the wrinkle look of linen. However, linen can be a great material as well. There might be certain blends that you come across, but try your best to stick to a mainly cotton blend. A Spandex blend can be a good material since it is stretchy and does not wrinkle.

Bottom Line….

Before you know it we will be putting our heavy coats into storage. It is best to get ahead of it by doing a closet clean out now and to determine what outfits really work. My favorite thing to shop for is jackets. I feel no matter the outfit a jacket can really tie an outfit together. Be cautious of a loud statement jacket that could read as outdated later on. It’s best to stick with the classics and the foolproof cuts. I can’t say enough about a great denim jacket. Not only is it on trend currently, but it will always be a classic for a reason. Try not to veer too hard into a current jean jacket trend and stick to the classic cuts and lengths. Remember that date outfits should be slightly more feminine and put together than a typical doing errands look. It is best to think about your natural shape and to pick an outfit that flatters your body. There will be trends that simply won’t look great on every body type (low rise jeans) so resist hopping on a “flash in the pan” look. Lastly, consider the fabric. Cotton is your safest bet for breathability and ease of care.

New Year, New Look

Lately, I have seen the importance of dressing up. Even if you are running errands or grocery shopping, you should put in that extra ten minutes to look good. You would be shocked by what people notice about us and how we are treated because of it. When we choose to dress ourselves, brush our hair, and wear makeup, it is showing the world that we respect ourselves. Usually, when appearance is stepped up, a promotion at work is on the table and suddenly there are more dates on the calendar. Like attracts like; dress for the life you want….

You don’t have to spend a fortune on makeup and clothes….

I often shop at thrift stores for clothes. It’s wild how expensive new clothes are. On top of that, shopping at thrift stores practices sustainability. A great thing to do with your girlfriends is a clothing swap. Bring clothes that you are tired of, but still cute, and do a trade. As far as makeup goes, I like the cheaper options. I don’t think every makeup item should be high-end, especially since most makeup goes bad after a few months. Don’t be tempted to spend your whole paycheck on makeup and skincare at Sephora.

Has your taste in clothing changed?…..

There are many styles of clothing and trends out there. Maybe one year you hopped on too many trends and then regretted it a year later. Ninety-percent of trends only look good on 6’1″ models. Really go though your closet and decide what fits well, and what is the most flattering for your body type.

Take quizzes online…..

If you are clueless about what you should be buying or even your preferred taste, then take a few quizzes. First take a quiz about your body type. That will tell you what cuts and silhouettes look best and what to avoid. Second, take a quiz about your overall preference on style. Maybe you like more of an edgy look, or more girly. Make sure to have a feminine twist to the style. Stay away from super masculine or unisex clothes. And lastly, take a quiz on your coloring. You will figure out your most flattering palate for your skin tone. Make a few Pinterest boards for reference and you will be good to go.

Fear of looking good…..

I have a trillion fashion phobias, but they all break down to fear of actually looking good. I feel super safe wearing leggings and a large hoodie. Most people say to a new outfit, “Oh, that’s too fancy–where would I wear it?” You have to accept that it’s ok to look slightly more dressed up than the people around you. Maybe you will get pushback from family and friends. This is why it’s best to improve your appearance in secret and to not broadcast it on social media.

Date Outfits…..

There is a science to a great date outfit. Men respond to a feminine look: heels, dresses, long hair. Pencil skirts, A-line dresses, V-necks, and a belt to cinch the waist are classic cuts of clothing that highlight a woman’s body. To attract a man’s attention your clothes should not look vulgar; you can turn more heads by wearing a curve-hugging dress. Certain colors make you appear more attractive. Red is a classic, but softer pastels look great, too. Types of fabric can add luxury to a simple outfit, such as silk, cashmere, and suede.

Baby Steps…..

In my fantasy, I redo my entire wardrobe from scratch. However, that’s not realistic. There are a few transitions to get to dressing better.

1.Get a full-length mirror- You might be sneaking out of the house without glancing at a mirror. When you have a full-length mirror you can see your outfit from head to toe.

2. Get better lighting in your bathroom or wherever you get dressed- I recently bought LED bright light bulbs. What a world of difference! I can actually see when I put on makeup and notice if I have any slight imperfections on my clothes.

3. Don’t donate all at once- There needs to be a bag in your room where clothing is on the chopping block. Don’t just immediately toss them or donate. You might have been in a bad mood that day and taking it out on your clothes. Give them a second chance and really evaluate if it’s unflattering.

4. Seek outside help- Maybe you have a super-fashionable friend. Ask for his/her honest opinion when you are trying on clothes. You can invite them over for a fashion party and make an evening out of it.

5. Go to the professionals- There are certain stores that have personal shoppers or stylists. The only downside is some stylists are working on commission and need to make a big sale. Trust your gut if they are only handing you the most expensive items.

Bottom Line…..

Clothes can make you invisible or make you stand out. Black, gray, and other muted clothes will make you fade into the background. It does take some inner work to actually want to look attractive. Your inner voice might be screaming, “You are way too fancy! Everyone will think you are trying too hard!” Our ego loves to cradle us and keep from changing, even for the better. You don’t need to go from zero to one hundred. Take steps to improve your current closet, then begin to buy new flattering outfits. Seek professional advice, take online quizzes, and get into the frame of mind that you deserve to look good and receive attention.