Tag: comedy

PSA For Comedy Fans

I recently went to a comedy show with semi-professional comedians. Everything was going great until….an unknowing heckler started chiming in. She was maybe in her 50s and it could be possible that this was her first comedy show. Not only did she disrupt the show by talking, but her phone rang for ten minutes during a set. For anyone wanting to watch live comedy and get into the scene, I have some notes. There is such a thing as comedy etiquette. What can you do to become a great audience?…..

First off there is planned material….

I want to get down to the basics. Comedians are not winging it doing an improv set (although some do). The material is meticulously planned out and timed. When you interrupt, you are stepping on the joke and messing up the timing.

“But…comics do crowd work”….

Yes. Comedians will do crowd work or have to deal with a heckler. However, they prefer to not go off script and dedicate a whole set to an audience member. If they ask someone in the crowd a question, they are willing to do crowd work.

“I am making the show funnier”….

You actually aren’t. In the case of this older woman, it was giving “barfly” energy. Meaning, it was attention seeking and desperate.

How can you be a good audience….

  1. Show up on time – don’t be coming in late where everyone is distracted unless it is a huge venue
  2. Turn off cellphones- make sure you phone is silent or off
  3. No talking during a set- Again, in certain settings you might need to order a drink at a bar, but beyond that zip it
  4. Don’t get up during a set- wait to use the bathroom and try your best not to cross in front of the stage
  5. Laugh- they want you to laugh and clap and be present
  6. Don’t sit in the front row- unless you want to be part of the show, sit further back
  7. Don’t wear a crazy outfit- try to blend in as best as possible to avoid getting roasted
  8. If appropriate, compliment- If they are standing near the exit after the show tell them it was a great set
  9. Don’t corner them- You have to be brief and see if the comic wants to chat. Don’t hold him or her hostage
  10. Don’t heckle or yell out- goes without saying. Do not interrupt the show unless prompted by the performer.

Bottom Line….

Be a respectful audience member to the comedian. Even if you do not like the performance, still be respectful. Most of the rules are not to disrupt the show and to distract the comic from the set. It is never ok to yell out. You may think you are being hilarious and “helping the comic out.” I assure you, you are not. It is attention seeking and a lack of self-awareness. Anyone who wants to “be apart of the show” should look inward and possibly take an improv class. It can give you perspective on how hard it is to perform in front of people.

Confessions of a Chuckle-F*cker

I told you how to get a comic to notice you, what do you do when you actually get him? Truthfully, it’s not as glamorous and hilarious as you think it will be. He probably travels every weekend and your role is half-cheerleader, half-girlfriend. The most frustrating part is he probably doesn’t think you are the funny one in the relationship. I got a slap on the wrist (metaphorically) for “work shopping” his joke. I was dating a comedian at the time and learned real quick that this is not a group project. Here are some facts about dating a comedian…..

He travels…..

If he is local, he still travels around to other cities. Bigger comedians will be getting on planes to travel. This can be good and bad depending on your attachment style. Avoidants are probably the best fit, since you need your space. Any attachment style that is anxious will unravel every weekend.

His persona on stage is probably the opposite of his true personality…..

The mean insult comics are usually sweethearts off stage. When you perform you need to channel a character to get though it. On the flip side, the nice boy act could mean he is a pill to deal with in real life.

Rarely does he date female comedians…..

It certainly does happen. However, you don’t need to be threatened by his female comic friends. Mainly because men don’t really value humor the way women do. It isn’t a trait they necessarily look for, or need in a woman.

He might work you into his act…..

Jokes come from observations that surround him. You are around him a lot so he might decide to use something you said or did in a story. Whether it’s flattering or not ( real talk: it won’t be flattering).

Only comment on jokes if he seeks your opinion…..

Your role as girlfriend is to NOT to help him with his act. Sure, maybe some girlfriends do in certain dynamics. However, do not give him feedback when he isn’t asking. It will result in fights and him icing you out.

Ask why you want to date him…..

It’s easier to date then do. Are you living vicariously though him when in reality your dream is to get on stage? Really examine your true motives before you jump in and become his ghost writer. Just write your own jokes and be brave.

Bottom Line…..

Listen….I am very much projecting and generalizing. Of course there are comedians who adore their girlfriends and worship the ground they walk on. I will say they are the easiest group to approach in public after a show. Praise and flattery can get you everywhere as long as you look good. Most of the relationship will be blind trust and not every personality type can handle it. Your motive might be to be the comedian, not just date. Take a step back and figure out your true intentions before you get entangled in a relationship.