How To Get A Good Haircut

It’s the season of getting a fresh summer crop. The first and last time I went to a “hair cuttery” in a strip mall, I had zero communication and left the salon in tears. The important thing to consider before anything else is where are you at emotionally. (The “break-up bangs” is a real thing). How can you safeguard a manageable haircut that you can take care of at home?….

Know your hair texture…..

This is a biggie. There are styles that simply will not work on certain types of hair. It is a good idea to educate yourself on the true natural texture. This can also be helpful for when you purchase shampoo and other hair products.

Layers….

Ok, so layers can date your look in certain cases. Sometimes, layers make hair look thick and full while others resemble a “Karen.” Anyone playing it safe should stick with the simple face framing layers and that’s it, unless you are going for a mullet punky look.

Bring a photograph….

Let’s admit that we aren’t the best at communication. A stylist might misinterpret what you want and give you something completely different. No one wants to come off as bossy or a diva.

Are you sure you want bangs?….

(I am talking to myself, mostly). Bangs are hard to take care of and maintain. There are ways to get “the bang look” without actual bangs. You can get curtain bangs which are longer bangs that swoop to the side. It still gives you a Bridget Bardot effortless look.

Communicate your concerns to the stylist….

When you are getting a cut for warmer weather you actually don’t have to chop your hair off. There are solutions like cutting within the hair to make it less thick. Tell the stylist how often you blow-dry and how much styling you actually do.

Should you get a risky cut or style?….

This is a tough one. I have had pixie cuts and short styles before. I’ve got to be totally honest and say there are certain body types, ages, etc, that can pull off certain short styles. But on the flip side, I feel that older people should try out longer hair since it’s expected for older women to get the grandma-curly-pixie. Basically, people have preconceived feelings about hair styles. Sometimes, it can be liberating to go against conventional styles. It is really your call.

Men only like long straight hair?….

The advice over a decade ago was to keep hair long, straight, and plain. I honestly think as long as it looks feminine on you, then it is fine. I just saw a bartender with a buzz cut and she looked like a French model. My guy friend couldn’t take his eyes off her. Again, it comes down to bone structure and body type.

Bottom Line….

First step to a great cut is knowing yourself and your lifestyle. Is it realistic for you to do a full straight blowout every morning? Probably not. Your hair texture is your starting point to what type of cut will work best. You can take quizzes online and look through Pinterest to help visually see what works. This can also help with what type of shampoo and other products to use, and if you should be blowing drying your hair or letting it air dry. Most importantly is to bring a photo for the stylist. No matter how much you think you are communicating, it is always safer to show rather than tell. As far as taking a risk, this is your call. I would say short hair is the biggest risk since you cannot hide. Personally, I would not do it on a whim or after a breakup or major trauma. However, do what feels right for you.

Navigating Bad-Weather Friends

We all know about a “fair-weather friend,” whom I consider mainly a 3rd-tier casual friend. Or, worst, a social climber who globs onto you, trying to ride your coattails. But a “bad-weather friend” is someone whom you talk trash with. Misery loves company when things are in the dumps. What happens when good things start to happen to you?….

You complain about men….

This one is super common for women to bond. The problem happens when one of you gets a boyfriend. The dynamic and roles change and the single friend might feel threatened. If this person is your BFF, then there are ways to minimize the drama….

Keep quiet about your relationship….

Influencer, Tinx, coins this “boyfriend sickness” when you bring up your boyfriend in every sentence. It can become grating on people. Plus, they are not in the relationship and can’t relate to your excitement.

When asked about your boyfriend….

Try to downplay everything, especially if it’s going well. The instinct is to shout from the rooftops, but it could invite criticism and jealously. They could plant toxic seeds into your subconscious and cause a fight within your romantic relationship.

Keep seeing your friends….

It’s important to not abandon all your friends. The smartest thing to do is to maintain your schedule and routines.

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You got a promotion at work and your friend is unemployed….

Finding a job is a full-time job. She might be used to complaining and to feeling lost and hopeless while you are thriving and about to make more money. It is tricky when two friends are not on the same financial level. The friend with money feels held back and the friend without money feels pressured to spend what they don’t have….

Help your friend meet the right people….

Instead of sending job alerts from Indeed, help them network with the right people. You can google search a meet-up group that might help and you can join for support.

As the wealthier friend, don’t be weird about Venmo….

To you, $20 here and there is not a huge deal to lose, but to her it’s the week’s grocery allowance. Try not to nickel-and-dime your friend for tiny things. However, you can’t expect her to go to a five-star restaurant either. Try to do more hang-outs at home with wine versus an expensive night out.

Have different types of friends….

It’s ok to have fancy friends and more-down-to-earth friends. Each can bring out a different side of you. The mistake is trying to force a friend into a different category. If you have gone from rags to riches, you will lose friends. However, it is fine to remain humble and low-key unless the energy is preventing success. The best friends are supportive even if it means you will see them less.

Bottom Line….

When good things happen keep it under wraps. The reason is more for your protection versus being ashamed of bragging. People who you have created a dynamic of complaining and bitching will be triggered when that changes. It is ok to have certain friends for certain categories. When it’s a best friend try to not brag and boast in front of them, especially if they are struggling. You can do your best to surround yourself with like-minded people. However, not all good news lines up with everyone. Overall, go against the instinct of sharing good news and spare people the details. Yes, friends should be excited, but it can also trigger their own insecurities that can unconsciously sabotage you.

The Summer Boyfriend: The Perfect Cocktail of Casual and Comfort

We all know about the “summer fling” or “feral girl summer,” both of which are unapologetic and rebellious. What is the “summer boyfriend”? It is more than a casual FWB or meeting men in the wild. This means exclusively hanging out with one guy within a certain time window. What are the benefits of the summer boyfriend?….

The “study abroad” mindset….

With summer versus the rest of the year, we may be traveling and have a looser schedule with school, for instance. It does not mean romance goes out the window. I love to think of myself studying in the south of Italy with a great man, knowing when I return home we will no longer see each other. You give it your all and carpe diem until August.

How is it different from a FWB?….

This is not a “come over to my house” at 11am guy. It is a man who actually wants to get to know you, but there might be a time limit attached.

Who do you pick for the summer boyfriend?….

In most cases this falls into your lap. For example, I had a great summer with this guy who was moving to New York City at the end of July. We made the most of it and had fun summer days at the pool and even did a huge cookout for Fourth of July. The important thing is you are NOT in a hook-up box. You prioritize actual dates versus late night shenanigans.

How a bite-size boyfriend experience can benefit you….

For anyone who suffers from future-tripping and not taking chances, this might help. It is ok to enjoy some romance even if it does not lead to the altar. It can create a shift in perspective that things can end and you should enjoy yourself instead of game playing and manipulating the outcome.

Why keep it exclusive….

It certainly does not have to. I find it happens naturally that he becomes the only guy whom you end up hanging out with. He might be a breath of fresh air from the other guys or he knows how to bring out your adventurous side.

Bottom Line….

This outcome does not mean it necessarily has to end when fall comes. It is getting into a mindset of living in the present. We worry so much about outcomes in dating. This is a good lesson of practicing authenticity while getting to know a person. Most importantly, it is erasing the over-analyzing and taking a microscope to every word he says. We live in a dating landscape of avoiding red flags and getting the ick. When you allow things to naturally unfold and get your ego out of the way you can actually enjoy yourself.

Should You Date Your Guy Friend?

It can be a common trope in rom-coms and television (“Friends”) where you wonder if your soulmate is your friend. There will be ruminations about whether it is worth ruining a good friendship to find out. Before you make the plunge into friends-to-lovers it’s best to think it all the way through. Mainly because once intimacy is involved it is extremely difficult to walk it back. What are some questions to consider?….

Are you craving intimacy?….

You might just be dying to get the “boyfriend experience.” The late night chats on the phone, watching Netflix over dinner and wine, a back rub. It can just feel good to “play house.”

People are putting pressure on you….

Someone might have planted the seed that your friendship could be more. You might have been stopped by a mutual friend or even a stranger thinking you were a couple. Your brain might have taken what someone said on a whim to heart.

Can you picture the intimacy?….

There might be no deep desire or yearning to get close in an intimate way. You don’t really see them as a sexual option. On the flip side, you wanted it from the beginning and then got friend- zoned by them

Speaking of friend-zoned….

Who friend-zoned who? This can make a huge difference. When you are the one to friend-zone a man, he might just be waiting in the wings until you are drunk enough to have sex. However, when a man friend-zones a woman it is more of a sign that you are, in fact, friends.

You went for a kiss, how did you feel?….

Maybe you finally took the plunge and kissed on the lips. How did you really feel? Was it just a comforting feeling, or was did it fuel your fire?

If they started dating someone or went on a great date would you be jealous?….

You probably talk about dating with each other. Have you always been secretly jealous? Or have you thought the stories are funny and give date ideas?

Do feelings really change?….

You could absolutely get closer as friends, but do feelings of true friendship rarely flip? There was a reason you did not become a couple.

Bottom Line….

In fictional TV shows or other media, a friends-to-lovers is seen as romantic and brave. In reality, there is such a thing as romantic chemistry versus having love and respect for a close friend. It is fine to have opposite gender relationships, yet they usually get questioned by the outside world. It is ok to discuss your feelings with your friend when the moment is right. Some clarity will ease your mind and help you move on if necessary.

Hormone Hacking

I am embarrassed to say I just learned how my menstrual cycle works…(I am in the 30s). For anyone who is not on birth control and is naturally cycling, this article is for you. Hacking your hormones for your benefit can save you time and energy. There have been times when I was feeling sluggish on first dates or could not get a project to click. How can natural cyclers benefit from the menstrual phases each month?…..

Download a tracking app….

Downloading an app is a free way to know what phase you are in. (If you are scared the government is tracking data, it is fine to write your cycle in a physical calendar).

The two major phases….

To simplify everything, the two big phases in the cycle are: Follicular and Luteal.

Ok, so when should I go on a date?….

When you start your period, you enter your follicular phase which lasts until after ovulation. Everyone has different feelings while on a period. No one wants to go on a date day one or two on your period. You may be bloated and cramping, to name a few symptoms. However, a few days after, going towards ovulation, I suggest this is your time to be social and go on dates. You will have more natural energy and your brain is operating on all cylinders. Some studies have said that during your ovulation period you have a glow, smell better, and are more attractive to the opposite sex.

Your luteal phase….

This is the time for you to rest and stay home. In the luteal phase, women experience PMS, moodiness, tiredness, etc. Your body and mind are sleepy. It is not a great time frame to make a new first impression. However, it can be a time to swipe on apps or lay the groundwork for a set up.

Working and your cycle….

Save all the heavy lifting and brain-heavy work for your follicular phase. Your mind will be as sharp as a tack and hard problems will now have easy solutions. When in the luteal phase, I have noticed for myself I would have to completely re-do work that I tried to do. Do low-stakes tasks in this time period.

When to travel….

Most women are like, “oh, no, I am on my period, I can’t travel!” I understand if it’s a beach trip. If you are not swimming, etc, then don’t reschedule your trip. You will be in a better mood and awake.

Bottom Line….

Ok, so to recap: Follicular phase = social and productive, and Luteal = rest and simple tasks. You should push yourself to get everything you can get done in your follicular period, including being social. I understand that there are certain events that are not on your timetable. Sometimes, you have to grit your teeth and bear it. For work and dating, it is better to have a tighter schedule where you work smarter, not harder. When I work in the follicular phase a task is done immediately, versus in the luteal phase, when it takes me several days to do the same task. For dating, this is also the time to double book. Meaning, two dates in one night if you can schedule it.

PSA For How To Treat Your Artist Friends

I have been an artist forever and have noticed that people in general see your career or even your hobby as a way to exploit free labor. Do all people do this? Of course not. But as an example, no one is demanding free work from a dentist. Here are a few points for non-creatives to chew on…..

The artist wears many hats to stay afloat….

They might have to drive Uber or be a server here and there. It does not mean they “gave up.” It is a way to supplement income in the lean times.

“No, we can’t do your photo shoot for free”….

I don’t love the term “friend discount,” mainly because if you were my friend, you would actually support my business. Most people like to squeeze all they can get for peanuts. This can manifest in doing a wedding or a headshot for free. Don’t be offended if your friend says they do not work for free and gives you a day rate.

We are actually busy….

There is a lot of behind -the-scenes work that most people do not recognize. Even socializing and networking is a form of work. It is all about making the right connections. Even just taking a rest day to recharge our brain is part of the process.

We hate hearing, “have you thought about getting a real job?”….

If we wanted to become a nurse, we would have. Most artists can only do artistic and creative things. They are not great at working at a call center. Most of the time, having a day job can be a huge time suck that takes away from our hopes and dreams.

We have good days and bad days….

There could be times when we sold out at an art show or got a huge commission. Then at the next show we only make three sales. Our career is mainly trial and error and luck.

We are always pivoting….

There are certain artists who stick to one medium. However, some artists will switch up mediums to see what sticks or what is the most lucrative. They are not a “jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none.” It is just experimenting on what will turn a profit.

Just because they are a painter or a photographer doesn’t mean they can do your specific thing….

There are a lot of times when an artist has a certain style and a person will ask for a 180. For example, they might be an abstract painter and a relative asks them to paint a hyper-realistic family portrait. Most people see art as art. The reality is most artists have honed into a particular style. Another example is a fine art photographer who usually does not want to shoot a headshot. Some artists do these things regardless, but it is not something they enjoy.

Bottom Line….

If you have an artist friend, support them and don’t use them for their talent. They deserve to be paid like anyone else. Artists work in silence most of the time and have their eye on the ball 24/7. When you see them resting or socializing, they are working. An artist’s life is a calling and takes a lot of sacrifices and losses. Yes, they are aware that they could have gone to school for something “more conventional.” Don’t be shocked if your artist friend or small business owner asks you to be paid for their work. Most creatives get taken advantage of because they love the work and so they will work for “exposure.” Don’t be that person. Another nice thing is to talk up their business when possible or like, comment, and share on social media. Most important is to show support and come to their art opening.

Florals And Femininity

Spring is in full bloom and a great time to grow flowers. Even the representation of a flower can bring you into a more girly mindset. How can you use the symbol of flowers to invoke your feminine nature?….

Plants versus cut flowers….

I personally would rather have a living plant versus cut flowers. Yes, a bouquet of roses can be great. But then… they wilt and die. I love buying orchids or even a cactus flower that will bloom. Orchids especially represent fertility and royalty.

Grow your own rose bush….

Pick your favorite flowers to grow on your porch or garden. You can plant other types of flowers in pots to start especially when you have limited space.

Florals in clothing….

Is it on trend every spring? Yes. I would go with a timeless floral pattern. I will say it is easier to grow tired of the pattern and you won’t want to wear it all the time. A great floral pattern is something that goes beyond a typical rose. A bird of paradise print can look very tropical and timeless.

Flower sheets and drapes….

When you live in a feminine and warm environment, it can rub off on you. Rose pattern duvets or sheets are a great start. It is good for feng shui purposes to think of romantic colors like pinks and blushes. You can add little touches such as a floral throw pillow to get started. Your art work could be of flowers as well.

The floral tea cup….

A dainty tea cup can bring out the princess in you. You can thrift a cup and saucer very easily.

Have a rose bath…..

Add some petals to your bubble bath for extra luxury.

Wear a floral perfume or rose shampoo….

This is the season for light and sweet scent

Some flowers are edible….

Look up edible flowers and add them to your plate or a beverage. Most violets are edible and can even be used as a simple syrup for cocktail or mocktails.

Bottom Line….

Use spring to bring out your princess energy. I love buying a flowering plant for inside and outside. It is a much better feeling to see a plant bloom. Take an assessment of how your bedroom looks. It is a great time to do a refresh. I believe in feng shui and invoking a type of subconscious vibe to project to the world. You can feel like a queen with floral beverages, lavish baths, and a sweet fragrance.

How Your Vibe Is Blocking Budding Friendships

Everyone wants to know “where do I meet new friends”? But no one is asking “how do I foster these meet-ups into actual friendships”? You might be frustrated that you put yourself out there and go out and no one wants to push it along. The phase “what do you bring to the table,” should be used in friendships, not only in romantic relationships. In a nutshell, there are mistakes I notice in other people and what I have done myself to block any friendship from getting off the ground. What is preventing you from taking an acquaintance to a friendship….

Are you scared to go outside alone?….

Are you depending on other people to hold your hand and make you feel safe in every social situation? Do you beg your roommate to come with you to the bars or a party? You really need to allow yourself to experience being social without a safety net. Get comfortable with eating lunch alone or treating yourself to coffee after a walk as a start.

Do you invite yourself?….

When you invite yourself you are putting the person in an uncomfortable situation. No one will say no you can’t come. However, that doesn’t mean you will be welcome.

Are you taking the hint?….

For me, three separate cancellations are a clear message they don’t want to continue the friendship. There are exceptions of course. However, you have to put limits on how much you put yourself out there with people who have rejected you.

Are people polite versus actually liking you?….

People do not want conflict. They will smile and nod and listen to anyone, especially in a bar. Don’t take someone’s being nice as wanting to become your best friend. Assume people are just wanting to be social. Do not follow them around the bar like a lost puppy.

What do you bring to the table?….

Are you fun, do you listen, are you a joy to be around? The friend who is a sulky sally is never sought out and asked to join. Not to say you can’t complain here and there. I am speaking more of the people who are crying and in a crisis every day. No one wants to be your savior. Put making new friends on the back burner when you need to get your ducks in a row.

Do you help people just to get a reward?….

You always drive people home and put yourself to good use. You might think you are creating friendship security and people can’t live without you. You in fact are creating a dynamic where they no longer see you as on their level. They see you as weak and someone they can take advantage of.

Are you cool and bubbly?….

Do you have interesting things to talk about? What hobbies, projects, funny stories are you telling? Do you dress in an interesting way? What is unique about you that you can talk about? Be the bubbly girl, aka someone who is sweet, smiley, fun. She radiates joy and is always a good time. Go look up videos on Youtube on how to be charismatic. It is an art that can be learned.

Do you think everyone is your therapist?….

People at the bars or the meet up groups are strangers. It is not appropriate to bring up your sex life or personal medical issues. Tread lightly on topics you discuss. No one wants to hear about your boring office job either.

Are your expectations too high?…

In adult friendships people have pressing priorities to their job, partners, family, etc. You need to shift your lens of kindergarten friendship styles to adult-with-responsibilities. At the beginning of the week they were fresh, but by the weekend they are burned out. Don’t threaten your friends to hang out. Be a little more at arms length and plan things for yourself before you throw out an invite.

Bottom Line….

There are always tips for how to meet new people. Plenty of meet up groups, courses, the bars, you name it. However, when you lack social awareness and discernment, it is a waste to put yourself out there. It is work to keep friends and the universe does not owe you friendships. It is something that needs to be nurtured and watered. Look inward and recognize how you are coming across. The biggest thing is accepting that most people are polite. Just because a stranger was nice to you does not mean you are best friends now. The first step to creating friendships is to cultivate a friendship with yourself. Spend time alone and pick up hobbies and interests. When you create a charismatic aura then it will attract people to you versus you hunting people down.

PSA For Comedy Fans

I recently went to a comedy show with semi-professional comedians. Everything was going great until….an unknowing heckler started chiming in. She was maybe in her 50s and it could be possible that this was her first comedy show. Not only did she disrupt the show by talking, but her phone rang for ten minutes during a set. For anyone wanting to watch live comedy and get into the scene, I have some notes. There is such a thing as comedy etiquette. What can you do to become a great audience?…..

First off there is planned material….

I want to get down to the basics. Comedians are not winging it doing an improv set (although some do). The material is meticulously planned out and timed. When you interrupt, you are stepping on the joke and messing up the timing.

“But…comics do crowd work”….

Yes. Comedians will do crowd work or have to deal with a heckler. However, they prefer to not go off script and dedicate a whole set to an audience member. If they ask someone in the crowd a question, they are willing to do crowd work.

“I am making the show funnier”….

You actually aren’t. In the case of this older woman, it was giving “barfly” energy. Meaning, it was attention seeking and desperate.

How can you be a good audience….

Show up on time – don’t be coming in late where everyone is distracted unless it is a huge venue
Turn off cellphones- make sure you phone is silent or off
No talking during a set- Again, in certain settings you might need to order a drink at a bar, but beyond that zip it
Don’t get up during a set- wait to use the bathroom and try your best not to cross in front of the stage
Laugh- they want you to laugh and clap and be present
Don’t sit in the front row- unless you want to be part of the show, sit further back
Don’t wear a crazy outfit- try to blend in as best as possible to avoid getting roasted
If appropriate, compliment- If they are standing near the exit after the show tell them it was a great set
Don’t corner them- You have to be brief and see if the comic wants to chat. Don’t hold him or her hostage
Don’t heckle or yell out- goes without saying. Do not interrupt the show unless prompted by the performer.

Bottom Line….

Be a respectful audience member to the comedian. Even if you do not like the performance, still be respectful. Most of the rules are not to disrupt the show and to distract the comic from the set. It is never ok to yell out. You may think you are being hilarious and “helping the comic out.” I assure you, you are not. It is attention seeking and a lack of self-awareness. Anyone who wants to “be apart of the show” should look inward and possibly take an improv class. It can give you perspective on how hard it is to perform in front of people.

Dressing For The Female Gaze

Most millennials have been taught to dress for the male gaze. This can be a great thing to consider for when you are really getting out there with dating. There is such a thing as a correct first-date outfit: Dresses, skirts, and non-patterns are a good starting point. However, when you are in a dating break it is wonderful to explore your own personal style. There is a whole brand “man repeller” which explores style that is geared towards fashion risks and expanding. When I watch “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw’s style is truly her own taste and vibe to impress herself. How can you cultivate your own style and lean towards the female gaze?….

What do you gravitate towards naturally….

You might be shopping or thrifting and get giddy when you see a certain style or color. Follow influencers and fashion accounts on social media to get a feel of what your taste is. Usually, there is a name for the aesthetic that you can dive into. I love using key words that describe what I enjoy. For example, you might be drawn to more edgy or preppy outfits.

What are the current trends…

Not suggesting you need to jump on every bandwagon. I love watching style channels on Youtube just to get a sense of what is trending. I prefer to not look dated, but to be seen as “in the know.” The great thing about fashion is that you can look amazing at any age just by choices and silhouettes.

You don’t have to sexualize yourself….

Personally, I love to dress in a modest way. My jacket obsession will never die since it is a chic way to layer an outfit and make it all come together. Not to say you can’t wear short shorts or a low-cut shirt if that suits you. But…. ask yourself, is this for you or men? Do you get the most attention from a miniskirt and a cleavage low-cut top? Is this the only reason why you wear these items?

What is the decade that resonates with you?….

No matter what is trending, you might be drawn to the 70s or 90s, for example. It is great to play off of what makes you smile and what brings in the most compliments. You could be drawn to bright colors or certain textures.

Understand that prints and patterns can fade fast….

You are always better off peppering in patterns and mainly wearing basics to balance it out. Leopard print is back in a huge way. It is a style that you can keep and wear again. Certain patterns highlight the time period when it was big, such as chevron ( which was big in the mid-2000s). Stripes, leopard, and gingham are always in so it is a safe place to start. Prints however, are a one-of-a-kind design for the most part. It is safer to buy something unique that you enjoy.

Silhouettes and shapes….

There are certain shapes that look great on everyone. I love that we are in a wide-leg era again. It is a trend that cycles back and does not change. As far as baggy jeans, it is hard to get it to look flattering. It can make you look too bulky if it is not styled correctly. As far as loose dresses, a belt can be a great way to highlight your waist and give you some shape.

Foot wear…

Finally, comfortable shoes! I am not a heels girl, which is the most alluring to men. I personally just feel like a deer on ice in them. I might make a compromise by wearing a hefty block heel or platform Mary Janes. If you decide to purchase sneakers, go with a white, black, or neutral. Not to say a color sneaker can’t look great. As far as ballet flats, it is your call. I remember ten plus years ago I would walk sockless in a gold ballet flat. At the end of the day it was a swampy smelly mess. I do appreciate that the ballet flats are worn with socks. My favorite is more of the chunkier ones that have a sturdy sole versus a little slipper.

Purses and accessories….

Get creative, why not? This is where the styling comes into an outfit. It is easy to thrift unique belts or a fun purse or bag. It is great to have an everyday bag when you do errands. I prefer a cross-body style in order to be hands free. But why not have that bag be leather or a more luxury material? As far as going out, bags I have always had a vision of was me with a little silver sequin bag on New Year’s Eve or some cute little bag you take out when you dress up. Jewelry is a whole other thing that comes down to personal taste and style. Some people look amazing when they wear 20 necklaces. It is a matter of what physically feels right to you. I don’t love wearing earrings since they tend to itch and pull after a few hours. I love a great ring or bracelet and a simple necklace.

Bottom Line…..

Anyone who is in a “putting yourself out there, going on weekly dates” era can ignore this article. However, it is fine to have taste and stretch a little out of your comfort zone. Gather inspiration from Youtube and social media and make a shopping wish list in your notes app. It is fine to go slowly and maybe just wear a statement jacket or shoe to start. Most important is to feel excited about dressing up and stretching out of your comfort zone.