Want to make dating more confusing and challenging? Do it while not fully knowing the language or customs. Anyone will feel like a fish out of water when they move to a brand new country. Most people want to fit in and be accepted and not stick out in a bad way. (This can also apply to newly single men who were in a decade-long marriage pre-apps). Here are some tips to navigate the apps and dating. More importantly, to not get swiped aside based on minor mistakes…..
Learn the abbreviations….
With the apps, there is a lot of shorthand for basic words. You don’t want to make texting feel too formal. It can make you come across as serious and not fun. Not saying every word should be an abbreviation. It is best to pepper in an “LOL” or a “LMK” here and there. There are always going to be new slang words. You don’t want to sound like you are trying too hard using Gen Z lingo as a 30-plus year old. It’s ok to say the word “cool” to describe something.
Emojis….
Emojis can be seen as a feminine way to communicate. However, when you aren’t sure how your tone is coming off, a “blushing face emoji” can get you out of hot water. Try not to overdo it, but a “laughing face emoji” is fine to use as a reaction on an instagram story or a “fire emoji” for when she is giving a thirst trap.
Understand what “TTYL” means…..
Most texting does not have a beginning, middle, and end. When someone tells you “TTYL” aka “talk to you later,” respect their wishes. It is a polite way to tell you they cannot chat or are busy. When you continue to text it will annoy them.
Don’t be scared to ask questions…..
Your date should not judge you for not knowing certain things, as long as the tone is not making fun or saying something is stupid. I have come across non-Americans who have had an elitist attitude. It can make your date feel uncomfortable if you are complaining about the food, news, or pop culture. Be open to ask clarifying questions; she should feel happy to answer and teach you something.
Be open to trying new food….
Unless it is against your religion, be open to eating food you aren’t used to. You don’t have to eat only fast food, but on a dinner date be open to explore a restaurant.
Go with the flow….
You sort of have to get a feel for the rhythm of where you have moved to. Every city,,, no matter where you are, has its own pace and clock. When I visited Barcelona, it felt very vibrant and young. They would eat dinner at 10pm and have more of a party attitude. Some cities are fast paced and bustling and some are very slowed down and chill.
Learn what a typical weekend is like…..
You might be in a city where they wake up at 7am and hike. In contrast you could be in a city where everyone goes bar-hopping. It might make you feel better when you can blend in a little and be a part of the group.
Bottom Line…..
I have dated and chatted with many transplants. The majority of women find an accent sexy and mysterious. It can be to your advantage to stand out a little. The problem I see the most is communication through texting. When your tone is hard to decipher, it tends to come off as more serious than it actually is. Really nailing good banter in the apps is a challenge for anyone. All women want is a connection and slight fantasy to daydream about. You should try to blend in, but be open to communicating about the differences without complaining. Be true to your religion and don’t totally fold to fit in (diet or alcohol). It is ok to keep the important stuff, but be open to trying new things.
Mostly Casual 