The Summer Boyfriend: The Perfect Cocktail of Casual and Comfort

We all know about the “summer fling” or “feral girl summer,” both of which are unapologetic and rebellious. What is the “summer boyfriend”? It is more than a casual FWB or meeting men in the wild. This means exclusively hanging out with one guy within a certain time window. What are the benefits of the summer boyfriend?….

The “study abroad” mindset….

With summer versus the rest of the year, we may be traveling and have a looser schedule with school, for instance. It does not mean romance goes out the window. I love to think of myself studying in the south of Italy with a great man, knowing when I return home we will no longer see each other. You give it your all and carpe diem until August.

How is it different from a FWB?….

This is not a “come over to my house” at 11am guy. It is a man who actually wants to get to know you, but there might be a time limit attached.

Who do you pick for the summer boyfriend?….

In most cases this falls into your lap. For example, I had a great summer with this guy who was moving to New York City at the end of July. We made the most of it and had fun summer days at the pool and even did a huge cookout for Fourth of July. The important thing is you are NOT in a hook-up box. You prioritize actual dates versus late night shenanigans.

How a bite-size boyfriend experience can benefit you….

For anyone who suffers from future-tripping and not taking chances, this might help. It is ok to enjoy some romance even if it does not lead to the altar. It can create a shift in perspective that things can end and you should enjoy yourself instead of game playing and manipulating the outcome.

Why keep it exclusive….

It certainly does not have to. I find it happens naturally that he becomes the only guy whom you end up hanging out with. He might be a breath of fresh air from the other guys or he knows how to bring out your adventurous side.

Bottom Line….

This outcome does not mean it necessarily has to end when fall comes. It is getting into a mindset of living in the present. We worry so much about outcomes in dating. This is a good lesson of practicing authenticity while getting to know a person. Most importantly, it is erasing the over-analyzing and taking a microscope to every word he says. We live in a dating landscape of avoiding red flags and getting the ick. When you allow things to naturally unfold and get your ego out of the way you can actually enjoy yourself.

How Roommates Affect A Couple

In college, I made a huge mistake by agreeing to live with my boyfriend and his friend. In general, I discourage living with boyfriends until it is serious. I honestly feel my relationship could have been saved if I had chosen to live solo or with a roommate to wrap up senior year. Why is taking on an extra roommate a romance killer for a couple?….

Why living with your boyfriend is bad….

I do have a full article on this. In summary, your relationship will shift into roommate vibes. You will no longer go on dates and he will have less incentive to impress you. Yes, you should live with your boyfriend eventually, but only when it is serious, like when you are engaged.

Why living with another roommate is bad….

When the extra roommate is male and they are friends, it’s game-over for your relationship. He will be playing video games in the living room and forget you exist.

Why he suggests you add an extra roommate…

Is it for money?…could be. More than likely, he does not trust your relationship will last. He is protecting himself and knows you will have to move out and he can stay.

Protect yourself before you move in…..

You are way better off being mysterious for as long as possible. You are playing your last card when you move in. On your end, you think it will bond you and bring you closer. Men fall in love through the absence of you. When you are always there he will feel trapped and lose desire.

You could be stuck in this situation for years….

He is comfy cozy and likes living with his friend. You are a bonus in the equation. He will have zero motivation to move out with just you. He is getting all his needs met, plus more.

Bottom Line….

The best thing you can do is to pace out your relationship. A man can get comfortable with the bare minimum while you expect him to keep up date nights and court you. These types of living situations can go on for years where the woman is unhappy and unfulfilled and he is thriving. Think of it in the logical sense and make it so he has to seek you out for as long as you can. Give him incentive to move the relationship along.

The Romance Of Scent

Memory is attached to our sense of smell. When I get a whiff of Axe body spray, I am reminded of my high school boyfriend. It’s powerful and can leave a huge impact. I have heard of men spraying his girlfriend’s perfume on his pillow when she is out of town. Romance and scent go hand in hand and it’s never a bad idea to be memorable….

Scent is broken down into categories….

I used to work in the fragrance department at Macy’s. I learned that scents are put into different categories, called “notes” : Fresh, sweet, woody, floral, and oriental. So, that’s a good place to start to see what type you prefer.

What is a signature scent?….

A signature scent is a fragrance you wear all the time, for years even. It might be the only perfume you have in your bathroom. This is what is going to make your scent more memorable instead of switching scents every day. If you find a perfume you adore wear it!

Perfumes can be seasonal….

It’s not a requirement that you have a signature scent. If you choose, you can change it up every season. In the fall / wintertime, it’s nice to wear deeper scents such as ones that have oriental or woody notes. In the spring /summer, wearing lighter airier scent seems more appropriate.

Your taste can change….

I used to love vanilla and super-sweet scents. This made total sense because I was young. There is such as thing as a young scent and a more mature scent. Nowadays, I really love a very clean “just showered” fragrance. Sometimes changing a scent can switch up your mindset or identity

Your sister or friend’s perfume might smell different on you….

Each person has a unique natural scent. Certain perfumes will smell different on each person.

There are certain points on the body to spray...

Once it hits these points, the fragrance lasts longer. These points include : The wrists, the inside of the arm, the neck, and the back of the knee. I would probably avoid the wrists since you will be washing it away with soap throughout the day. If the scent is super strong, then spray it in the air, wait a moment then walk though.

Perfume is a romantic gift….

If a man gives you perfume as a gift, it can be great. When you wear it you will think of him. Hopefully, he bought you something nice and not a body spray from Walmart. The downside is if you break up and you still have the perfume and it wasn’t cheap. In this case, I would re-gift it to a friend or sister.

Bottom Line…..

Choosing the right scent depends on your preference and your natural body chemistry. I actually just bought a perfume from TJ Max for only $12 back in December . Yet I couldn’t test it out. As long as you know the notes and what type of perfume you want you can be more confident buying it online. You don’t have to commit to a perfume for the rest of your life. But if you are obsessed with a certain fragrance, then why not? If you are less committal then changing up your scent seasonally is a great idea.