Tag: blog

A Naughty List For Lovers

With the film “Baby Girl” coming out on Christmas Day I wanted to talk about the juxtaposition of holidays movies catered to adults. Christmas, like most holidays, is centered around children and families. It seems more taboo to embrace sexuality and kink. As young children the feeling and excitement of Christmas comes mainly from receiving presents without the burden of returning the favor. As adults trying to capture the excitement and anticipation, one of the ways we can do this is through sex. How can you spice up your holiday season with a situationship or partner? Here are some suggestions….

Have a sexy Holiday movie night….

There are a lot of unofficial Christmas movies such as “Die Hard” or “Gremlins”. However, they do not create a sensual vibe. If that’s what you’re looking for, there are plenty of lists online to google, but a few stand outs are “Eyes Wide Shut” and “Reindeer Games”. My personal choice is the movie “Go” which takes place during the Christmas season.

Go out to dinner and order oysters and champagne….

It’s a cliche, but there are food items that are more luxe and sophisticated rather than cookies or fruit cake. Dress up and go to an upscale spot that has a Christmas decor atmosphere before Christmas.

Model lingerie….

Surprise your partner with a red lingerie set and a Santa hat. Keep it playful and fun. Bonus points for festive dirty talk and role play!

Light candles….

Set the mood for the season by eating by candle light or go to a bar or restaurant that has a fire place and dim lightning. If your home has a fire place then light the fire and turn on the Christmas tree.

Hang mistletoe in a doorway….

It’s a cute reminder to kiss whenever you enter a home or bedroom.

Sing, play music, or create a playlist….

Great for music lovers. I recommend a blue tooth karaoke mic and singing on your phone in Youtube. For true musicians you can play music on piano or guitar. Or you can use Spotify or Apple Music to create a personal Christmas playlist. (For example Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me”). Go beyond carols and stick to original Christmas albums.

Tie each other up using Christmas lights….

Is it silly? yes. However it can be memorable and a great sexy photo shoot idea.

Bottom Line….

Spice it up this season with your situationship or committed partner. You can create new holiday traditions that center around you as a couple versus obligations to family. All the suggestions are not to be taken seriously and can be modified for your liking. It’s good to think outside the wrapped Christmas box. Above all, remember to have some fun and de stress!

PSA For How To Treat Your Artist Friends

I have been an artist forever and have noticed that people in general see your career or even your hobby as a way to exploit free labor. Do all people do this? Of course not. But as an example, no one is demanding free work from a dentist. Here are a few points for non-creatives to chew on…..

The artist wears many hats to stay afloat….

They might have to drive Uber or be a server here and there. It does not mean they “gave up.” It is a way to supplement income in the lean times.

“No, we can’t do your photo shoot for free”….

I don’t love the term “friend discount,” mainly because if you were my friend, you would actually support my business. Most people like to squeeze all they can get for peanuts. This can manifest in doing a wedding or a headshot for free. Don’t be offended if your friend says they do not work for free and gives you a day rate.

We are actually busy….

There is a lot of behind -the-scenes work that most people do not recognize. Even socializing and networking is a form of work. It is all about making the right connections. Even just taking a rest day to recharge our brain is part of the process.

We hate hearing, “have you thought about getting a real job?”….

If we wanted to become a nurse, we would have. Most artists can only do artistic and creative things. They are not great at working at a call center. Most of the time, having a day job can be a huge time suck that takes away from our hopes and dreams.

We have good days and bad days….

There could be times when we sold out at an art show or got a huge commission. Then at the next show we only make three sales. Our career is mainly trial and error and luck.

We are always pivoting….

There are certain artists who stick to one medium. However, some artists will switch up mediums to see what sticks or what is the most lucrative. They are not a “jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none.” It is just experimenting on what will turn a profit.

Just because they are a painter or a photographer doesn’t mean they can do your specific thing….

There are a lot of times when an artist has a certain style and a person will ask for a 180. For example, they might be an abstract painter and a relative asks them to paint a hyper-realistic family portrait. Most people see art as art. The reality is most artists have honed into a particular style. Another example is a fine art photographer who usually does not want to shoot a headshot. Some artists do these things regardless, but it is not something they enjoy.

Bottom Line….

If you have an artist friend, support them and don’t use them for their talent. They deserve to be paid like anyone else. Artists work in silence most of the time and have their eye on the ball 24/7. When you see them resting or socializing, they are working. An artist’s life is a calling and takes a lot of sacrifices and losses. Yes, they are aware that they could have gone to school for something “more conventional.” Don’t be shocked if your artist friend or small business owner asks you to be paid for their work. Most creatives get taken advantage of because they love the work and so they will work for “exposure.” Don’t be that person. Another nice thing is to talk up their business when possible or like, comment, and share on social media. Most important is to show support and come to their art opening.