How To Hack Football Season For Your Love Life

The best fashion season is upon on us and yea… I guess there will be football. For anyone who is a diehard-core-football fan, navigating the sports bars will be a breeze. However, not everyone has a fantasy league and can name every new college player. Make this a challenge to pause the apps and practice in-person interactions with potential mates. How can you have the home field advantage this football season?….

First of all, you know where the men are….

That’s step one. They are all at a sports bar or at the actual game. Most of in-person dating, if not all, is being at the right place at the right time.

Limit your group to 3 total….

Pick your wing ladies carefully ( I have an article on this). Your friend is probably not going to truly wingman it for you. If anything, she could block it. It is mainly that you are going to get noticed by men when you are in a small group.

Dress appropriately….

Not saying you need to be decked out in sports gear, but do dress a little on the sportier side. Still keep it cute and feminine and not like you are about to take the field. Think more cheerleader than player. Currently the tennis aesthetic is hot and you can draw inspiration from that.

Come before the game starts….

Before the men get sucked into the game and you become invisible, it’s not a bad strategy to pre-game and see who is around.

Resist being “one of the guys”….

Yes, you might be obsessed with sports and that’s great. Make sure you are not veering too hard into one-upsmanship. You don’t want to be his competition and make him feel like a loser. Also, cheering and screaming whenever there is a touchdown is very try hard, too.

Don’t be a hater either….

Negging him is not the way to go. He will think, “if she hates this so much why is she here?” You will not impress him by how stuck-up you are.

You don’t have to impress him….

Don’t fake that you love beer and are obsessed with watching football. Be authentic, however, still having fun. You might want to play pool or darts to keep yourself busy especially when you have no idea who is winning or losing.

Don’t be stuck in the same spot….

Unless your city only has one bar feel free to barhop a little. You want to be where the action is and have as many eyeballs on you as possible.

Bottom Line….

Plant yourself in the right energy this season. This is a lesson for all in-person first impressions. It is always best to be in a good mood and look cute. A guy who is attracted will approach you and you can at least meet new men. You don’t need to study up on sports or try to neg him about what player got drafted. (Unless sports gossip is a true interest, that is). Try to remain as authentic as you can be. This is also a time to connect with your single friends and build those memories.

Best Feng Shui Plants For Abundance

As the weather starts to cool down it is great to bring some life into your space. I just got into growing plants and herbs on my doorstep. Have I killed some plants? Yes. But once you find the best plants that are low maintenance it can make all the difference. From a feng shui perspective no matter the plant you need to think lush and expanding. What are some types of plants that work best for most homes and what to avoid?….

Rubber Tree….

The rubber tree in feng shui symbolizes wealth and prosperity. You can place it in your wealth corner, but, more importantly, is to place it with indirect sunlight. It does need water, so make sure to check the soil often.

White bird-of-paradise….

This lush leafy plant takes up space, but will take about five years to fully mature. It brings lucky energy and growth since it continues to expand. It is said to help with passion and creativity. Place it in indirect light so the leaves do not burn.

Lucky bamboo….

You can separate the stalks to see if the plant has enough water. It does not need soil so a good idea is to keep it in a clear vase with a few small stones. The number of stalks have different meanings. Avoid four stalks since it means death in Chinese and is considered unlucky.

Pothos….

Everyone loves a leafy hanging plant. It represents positive energy, good luck, and wealth. It is a very easy plant to propagate and gift to friends. Works wonderfully in a shower.

Orchids….

A very romantic plant that is a living flower. I don’t love cut flowers since they die (more on that). It gives feminine energy and royalty. In feng shui, it helps with fertility and attracts love. It is a perfect plant to place in your love corner.

Are fake plants ok?….

As long as the plants look real then it is fair game. Some people might travel a lot or live in a dorm room as an example, and can’t maintain living plants. I actually have a mix of real and fake plants.

Dried and dead plants….

When you have anything dead or broken you are squashing the flow and chi in your home. Keep up with cut flowers or purchase flowers that are preserved and can last for years. It is always best to have living plants to create more life and breath in the home.

Spiky plants….

Cactus and aloe vera or any plant that has sharp points is not recommended. However, if you want to have a cactus and succulent garden in your yard, that is fine. Any plant that does not grow, such as bonsai trees or dwarf trees, is not good feng shui. You always want a plant that is going to keep growing.

Bottom Line….

The plant world can get complex. It is best to go for plants that are leafy and lush. I recommend going to Home Depot or Trader Joe’s for plants. Plants will improve your air quality and bring life into your space. It is also a great idea to get into herbs while you are at it. Basil is a wonderful herb for starters and mint is also easy to care for. Make sure to place plants in indirect light and check the soil to make sure it is always moist. Fake plants are not illegal and can work great for dorm rooms or people who travel constantly.

How To Use Envy For Good

Most haters and trolls are coming from a jealous place. Some will dedicate reddit pages and be up late nights updating a hate club. All this energy, if channeled in the right direction, could have been used for a new career or lifestyle. The feeling of envy can be used to take a temperature of our true desires. For anyone who is lost or stuck in a soul-sucking job, how can you use envy for good?….

Get inspired not jealous….

If they can do it, so can you. Even just attempting and working towards your desires will make you happier. Be surrounded by friends who are accomplishing big dreams.

Would you trade lives with this person?….

Maybe a tiny piece of their life is fantastic. As a whole, maybe they aren’t close to their family or have severe anxiety. You are only seeing a positive sliver.

Fill up your cup first….

Most jealous and resentful people are doing way too much for other people. 9/10 of the time, the other person did not even ask for help or advice. It is easier to focus and fix a friend’s or boyfriend’s life and completely ignore your own.

Your desires are smothered….

Get back in touch with your intuition. This is a good starting place when you are too focused on what other people are doing. Pay attention to yourself.

Write down when you get jealous….

Scrolling though Instagram or when a friend tells you good news, what exactly made you envious? Get really granular about why you felt a pang of hate. There is a pattern that you are not paying attention to.

Start small….

Any career can first be a hobby or side-hustle. You don’t have to jump back into getting a PhD or anything drastic. You might discover it was only that he or she received a lot of attention and maybe you are lacking friendship or a social circle.

Bottom Line….

When harnessed correctly you can use envy to highlight your true passions. Just make sure it is not just for attention. There are many ways to get praise and admiration. Ask yourself why you need validation. When you are in alignment with your life, you pay less attention to what others are doing. A confident person would never start a hate club or troll on Instagram. Stop fixing other people’s lives and focus on you and your needs.

Weighing Future Options After High School or College

It’s been a long time since I graduated high school. However, I do think that the process of visualizing your future happens at many points in your life. There is so much pressure to know exactly what to do at eighteen. Millennials have regretted getting into massive debt for a degree they don’t even use. I wanted to break down a thought process that anyone can chew on to take next steps in life or career….

After high school or college…..

Just graduating high school, the world is your oyster. There is a ton of pressure to go to college for the sake of it. This mindset is not up with the current times. There are other options such as a trade school, or even taking a gap year to sort things out. As far as graduating with an undergrad, it is also important to take a beat and decide what makes long term financial sense.

Gap year option….

This is a good time to stack your money with investing. You can get a job, live at home, and invest. Is it an exciting option? No. The sooner you start investing the more wealth you will accrue. Some people use a gap year to travel. You could do that in the micro-sense or travel across the globe.

Don’t try to force your degree….

When we have that official paper it is easy to pigeonhole ourselves to only do that degree. Your bachelors could lead to a piece of a skill to a job or career. Try not to turn down offers just because that wasn’t what you majored in.

What lifestyle suits you the best….

Some people thrive with waking up at 6am and going into work at 9am, while others are not early risers and want more freedom and flexibility. Be honest about when you are most energetic during your day. Are you a night owl or a morning lark?

The job isn’t going to be what you think….

When you are getting your degree you are learning in theory how everything will work. This is why an internship is super important. On paper, it might seem like a glamorous job, but the reality could be a lot of late nights and out-of-control clients.

What is a hobby and what is a job?….

The people who can’t decide on a career have a hard time with this. You could have a million interests and you can’t pick one. In this case, it might come down to trial and error and what sticks. See how much positive feedback you are getting and if doors are shutting or opening. You should not have to force anything too hard. When it’s right it is something you are passionate about, but is also lucrative.

Give yourself time….

Jobs and careers take time to develop. You don’t want to abandon something after a week; it will take work and discipline. Cut it off or pivot after 2-3 years.

Network….

The wrong way to network is a cold email asking if you “can pick their brain.” Networking can mean going to a networking event or being social and ready with an elevator pitch. When you are relaxed and in your element you attract people towards you. You never know who you are chatting with or how big their circle is. Another thing to think about is what your resources are and who you already know. Most people get hired by former classmates, friends, or relatives. See where there might be legs up in your social circle.

Bottom Line….

At many points you will need to take it back to square one and follow your passions. Take advantage of your young age to invest your money. Start out with good financial literacy that can set you up to buy a home later on. Take advantage of a gap year. It is not common for Americans to do a gap year, but it can really save you from panic-picking a major. Give yourself time to digest and see how the real working world is like. Most importantly, it is ok to not use your college degree the way you thought.

How To Interview A New Roommate

Our generation will live with roommates longer than the previous generations. With cost of housing and student loans, it is something that many people in their 20s and 30s have to deal with. But what if it could go smoother and with more harmony? In the past, I have made some roommate mistakes, from picking them to delegating household chores. What are some interview questions to ask a potential roommate?….

Picking a roommate….

Should you pick your bestie? Or a total stranger? It really comes down to a person you are not scared to bring things up to. In the case of interviewing a stranger, get a sense of how responsible they are. You don’t want a grifter to sign the lease or bring weirdos over. When you do pick a friend I suggest not your BFF. Becoming roommates can really put a strain on your relationship. Plus, you will be seeing them too often. Best case is they have been vetted by a friend that can vouch for them.

Is it better to let a single person live with you or in a relationship?….

Sometimes it can be a blessing when the roommate has a partner and they are never around. However, you don’t want to host her boyfriend on a nightly basis. A great question to ask is their relationship status and does her boyfriend live in town, etc. For single people ask how active they are at dating. This is a good time to lay out some rules for guests. The type of person who brings men back every weekend might not see the arrangement as a good fit.

What is their definition of clean?….

Some people like the apartment to be tidy and some need a deep clean every Sunday. Two opposite ends of the spectrum should not live together.

Whose furniture will be brought in….

You might have lived there before and now need a new roommate. Or you are both seeking a brand new apartment. The person with the most furniture will, in an unspoken way, somewhat have the upper hand. The person with just bedroom furniture could easily be kicked out. Same thing with the person who owns all the pots and pans and kitchen materials. Get that squared away so there are not duplicates.

What is their job?….

Some people have very unstable jobs or do not have the best work history. No shade to restaurant workers, but that type of job has a high turnover rate and they could get fired very easily. Given the choice, the best pick is someone that is planted in their occupation for years and has a great track record of holding a job.

Can they hang?….

Listen… you want your roommate to be somewhat flexible and not super rigid. Not to say either of you should be walked all over. It just feels better to enter the apartment and not be tiptoeing as you sneak into your room. It’s best when interviewing to take them out to a bar and see how uptight they are. Are they having a tantrum because the bartender forgot their lime in their cocktail?

Bottom Line….

Your home is your safe space. A roommate can make or break your peace and sanity. Biggest advice is make sure this person is vetted. You need to have people in common that can give you important insights. In the micro-sense, you don’t want to be sitting in your car avoiding entering your apartment because you hate their energy. You need a person who knows how to communicate and is responsible, and cherry-on-top, can chill and hang out.

How To Attract Guests With Home Decor

Feng shui is not just a “woo-woo” practice. It has some practical takeaways that can give peace of mind. Most important is feeling like you can be a great host for guests. For anyone in the process of moving or thinking about revamping their current place I have some notes on what makes a hang-worthy environment….

Location….

Do I always mention this? I do. Location is key for having willing guests to swing by. I understand people want to save money by renting somewhere outside of town. Personally, I feel if your goal is to attract more friends or have an easier dating life, I would suggest going for a studio in town versus a 1-bedroom on the outskirts.

Furniture…

Let’s get with the basics. Comfortable furniture is a must. I have sat on too many cheap rock hard futons. There are ways to get furniture secondhand and to get things reupholstered. Even an outside porch chair should feel comfortable to sit in.

Layout…

In feng shui what is talked about a lot is “flow,” meaning intuitive ways to walk through, sit down, and relax. Have side tables to place a drink and the perfect angle for the TV. Play around with living room layout to see what makes sense. You don’t have to shove all the furniture up against a wall. Create your own seating nook so people can engage and chat. Watch design shows on Youtube to get some inspiration. A good follow is “apartment therapy.”

Dual purpose furniture….

Going back to the goals of hosting. Maybe you want to host dinner parties. There are types of tables that can fold out into larger tables. (I am obsessed with functional dual-purpose furniture). For smaller spaces, it is great to provide more seating that can be tucked away later.

Make sure you have drinks and snacks…

Offering a drink is a must. Stock your fridge with a few wine bottles, beer, and some seltzer water. You don’t want to only have tap water. It is more of an adult vibe to have a drink fridge and some snacks around. This doesn’t mean high-end expensive drinks. You can pick these staples up at Trader’s Joes, etc.

Tidy up the place….

Be in the habit of having a clean space. You might have to give yourself daily chores to keep up. No one wants to sit around empty pizza boxes and go to a bathroom with no toilet paper.

Art on the wall and decor….

You don’t have to emulate a dentist office waiting room, although there is something to be said for calming art and overall zen paint color choices. Plants can help to make a space more alive. Pick full lush leafy plants or a Pothos that can dangle on a shelf.

How are you entertaining….

For extra credit it is nice to have streaming services or music services without ads. A pet peeve of mine is when you are in deep conversation and a blaring ad about ED juts in. You don’t have to have every streaming service to be premium, but just pick one for guests.

Lighting….

No overheads allowed. Have dimmers or lamps with an amber glow bulb.

Finally, energetic blocks….

It has to be addressed if you may be subconsciously preventing friendships from forming. Do you hide behind clutter and excuses and wave people away? You might not want people to fully connect and enjoy your space because of fear or past trauma. Our homes reflect how we are feeling about ourselves and what we are shutting out.

Bottom Line….

When considering where to move to or just wanting a refresh it is good to keep these tips in mind. Ask yourself what goals you want from your living situation. Do you want to be host and have a few friends over on occasion or do you want to have full dinner parties or poker nights? A big point is to ask yourself if you honestly want company. Guests can get a little out of hand if your home is too welcoming. If this happens, then make sure to place boundaries up and describe the hosting with other friends so the burden isn’t always you. Lastly, recognize your energetic blocks for having a welcoming home.

The Brat Girl And The Rodent Boyfriend

Last year was “feral girl summer” which is an unapologetic trend for women. This year the two trends are “brat girl” and “rodent boyfriend.” The brat girl is someone who is a party girl and enjoys being single. The rodent boyfriend’s physical features look like a rat’s. He is more of an artsy creative type. I would say both of these people would be at the same party. How can you embody this trend and meet a rodent boyfriend?

Go to events….

This goes without saying. You have to show up to the party to be a party girl. Check your local paper or social media to find out what is happening.

Dress to impress….

Not to say you need to wear club wear. It is more of a female gaze-type dressing. Meaning you are NOT wearing normal (almost boring) clothes to impress men. You can lean into neon green, dye your hair purple, and wear spikey jewelry.

How to find the rodent boyfriend….

He might be at the poetry slam night, or indie movie night. Be prepared for him to man-splane about the cinema or gate-keep certain albums.

These two archetypes have different goals….

The rodent boyfriend is more introverted and prides himself in being unique. The brat girl is extroverted and wants to express herself outwardly. It can be a case of opposite attracts, but sometimes a difference in lifestyle can make it a short term summer romance.

The brat girl likes being single….

She isn’t chasing down men. Her goal isn’t to try to land a boyfriend. The point is she is having fun solo or with friends at the bar or club. This is a great lesson for many women to allow yourself to breathe and enjoy being single.

Take the brat girl attitude into the fall…

The thing about these certain summer trends is it is a way to try things out for a trial period. Hair color fades and you can donate your bright color clothes. Or… maybe this fits what you have been wanting to express. We get so bogged down with what other people want women to wear. It is nice to feel confident in going against the grain.

Bottom Line….

Both of the archetypes of being a rodent boyfriend or a brat girl are two independent people. They could cross paths and share something short-lived and that’s the point. It is living in the moment and enjoying single life. You are expressing a young attitude and outward appearance. You might dye your hair hot pink and wear intense makeup. The main thing is having fun and being with friends, most importantly, and to allow organic things to happen.

Why It’s Ok To Have A Routine Vacation Spot

It’s the time of year when Instagram feeds are filled with vacations from simple beach trips to European decadence. Vacations are very personal to each person. There are two camps of people who think each vacation should be completely different and new versus those who like familiarity and comfort of a same location. For me personally, I have been going on the same vacation my whole life every summer. What are the perks of having a routine vacation?….

You can adjust faster….

The thing about traveling is that it takes a few days just to adjust and get settled in. When you go to a location where you don’t know where anything is you are wasting time possibly getting lost to the grocery store.

It’s easier to plan out the rest of the year….

Space away from your everyday life is a great time to reflect on what you want to accomplish. It is hard to see things clearly when it’s too much in front of you. I read somewhere that Bill Gates has somewhat of a retreat and reset each year. Again, it’s a time to allow yourself to sit and reflect and take an audit of what is really working.

You can try out a new lifestyle….

For example, you might be a late riser and party person back home. Why not try out a sober period where you wake up earlier and adopt more healthy habits? Even if it’s only for two weeks. Toy with being vegan or no coffee. See how it all makes you feel.

You won’t get home sick…

A “home away from home” won’t make you feel sad and want your own bed.

Packing will be a breeze….

Nothing is more stressful than not knowing what to pack. When you have an idea of what the weather is like, what the laundry situation is, and what shops are available it makes packing more seamless.

It’s a good way to check your progress….

When there is a common variable it is easier to see how you are stress- or happiness-wise. We set so many goals in the year. It is nice to see what has been accomplished.

Bottom Line….

Would some say it is boring and basic to travel to the same place every year? Of course. It is glorified to be a jet-setter and travel to as many new places as humanly possible. I do think it is good to experience new culture and cities. Some families might travel to the same ski resort or might share a condo in Florida. It is perfectly fine to enjoy summer however it suits you. Your mindset and your ability to use your time wisely will set you up for a lucrative rest of the year.

How To Get An Accurate Tarot Reading

I had an amazing in-person tarot reading on Halloween last year. It was very accurate and I have to say I am following the future prediction almost too well. However, there are plenty of ways to get it wrong and to even get scammed out of money. I want to break down what makes a good tarot reading and what places to avoid….

It needs to be in person….

There are many ways to receive readings online such as Instagram, Tik Tok, YouTube, etc. Most of those readings are either “taroscopes” meaning they are speaking to a specific zodiac sign or simply a general reading for anyone. This can be a fun little thing to watch here and there. It can be harmless, but you will not get an accurate reading for you specifically unless you are sitting across from the reader.

Why is that?….

The reader is most likely an intuitive reader and can pick up on your energy or even downloads from the universe they are receiving. You can ask specific questions that can be answered.

Who should you avoid?….

I would say anyone who is advertising on TV or just seems a little too pushy with making a sale. Most readers just enjoy doing it and might do a pop-up in a witchy bookstore, etc. Ask around and do some research through word of mouth.

If they ask to break a curse though money, etc….

Breaking curses is a trick that many con artists use to get fast cash. Saying anything dramatic or demanding indicates they are a fraud. Even someone who is seeking you out on instagram saying they will give you a “free reading.” A true reader will not ask you to come back.

Do not go to a friend or someone who personally knows you….

I know you want to cut corners and have your witchy roommate just do it. However, they already have a bias. I won’t go to the same reader twice. I believe there needs to be a clean slate.

How much should you pay?….

Some might only want donations. Sessions and prices can be posted on a website. Go to a place that is within your budget. It can depend on the area of the country and prices in general. Go with your gut on how clean and organized the website is. If it is giving you pause, then seek out another person.

What can you do to prepare for the session?….

Do not go in with a million questions. Brainstorm what topic you really need guidance on. The most common are love or career questions. The more specific the better. You need to prepare your vibe as well. Try not to enter the room with frantic energy. Get to the location ten minutes early and decompress in your car or waiting room.

Take a picture of the spread….

When the reading has wrapped up take a picture of the spread. You might want to dig in more and examine the cards on your own time. Or just remember what they said for your future card for instance.

Be respectful, pay, thank them….

This person took the time to do this. I prefer to prepay if that is offered but there might be a case where you Venmo after as well. A store or reader might offer a gift certificate for a reading, which makes a great gift to a friend.

Bottom Line….

The most important thing is to seek out the right person. Most will be attached to a store or might do pop-up markets. They are not the ones who advertise on tv or anything that feels fake. The more flashy they are the more likely they are a fraud. It’s my personal opinion to not get a reading from a personal friend or someone who has met you. They might carry a bias and not give you an accurate reading. The amount of times you go is up to you. I feel once a year is enough to get some guidance. I find it unnecessary to go every month or excessively. There needs to be some breathing room. Either way, take it with a grain of salt. You have free will and the power to shift your own path. It is never set in stone. A “bad” reading could be motivating to shift and pivot.

How To Get Dates From Instagram

It’s not a hot take that Instagram can be used as a dating app. However, there are ways to boost it to cultivate potential relationships. The thing about Instagram is it still feels like a fairly organic way to meet someone. At this time it does not have vulgar undertones. I will break it down for how the feminine-energy person can attract someone and how the masculine-energy person can pursue…..

Feminine Energy….
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Make sure your profile pic (avatar) looks great…..

This is how you are going to draw men in. Visually you need to look pretty and alluring. This is not the time to put a pic of your cat or a cartoon. You can still be private and attract a person with just one photograph.

The grid….

Try to not make your grid look like an OnlyFans. (Unless you are trying to start an OnlyFans or only want to receive requests to hook up). For me, my grid is my little art project, but it’s safer to have flattering pictures and some that show travel or personality.

Follow….

Is this the dropping the hanky technique? Maybe. Here is the safer option instead of a cold follow: I prefer following a guy in a band or art page who is local. It makes it seem more innocent, like I am just trying to connect to my community.

Watch a story….

This is taking it to the next step. You can watch a few stories. Do not heart or react or comment. You can just observe a few stories.

Wait for a DM or communication….

Now you wait to see if he has taken an interest. The first step is him sending a follow request. See if he watches your stories or likes any posts.

Masculine Energy….
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Go to the “people you may know” section….

These are women who could be mutual friends or are local. Pick someone who you think is attractive to you.

Send a follow request….

She might cut you off there. When she is taken or weirded out, then you are done.

Don’t send a rogue DM….

This to me is very thirsty. It comes off as “hey, baby girl, looking good.” It will give her the ick.

If she accepts the request….

Watch her stories and heart them. Keep doing this periodically.

Pick a story that resonates with you….

When there is a particular story that you found funny or can comment on, then this is when you do a reaction message.

Try to stay away from the fire emoji reaction….

Probably five other guys already did it. You want to be seen as classy and not an F-boy.

See how she responded to the reaction message…

You can gauge her excitement and welcoming nature. For example, her sharing a clip from a comedian you like. You could ask her about it or at the very least send a laughing face emoji reaction.

DM her…

DM her when all of the above has happened. Ask her out sooner than later.

Bottom Line….

When done right, Instagram can be a good tool to create a digital organic way to get a date. More people are on Instagram these days versus the dating apps. The popularity of the dating apps has swiftly decreased. This is a “new” way to put out feelers without a hard rejection in the wild. Make sure, both as a man and woman, to make your profile appealing to who you are trying to attract. Your instagram grid is your brand; make sure it appeals to your audience.