Most haters and trolls are coming from a jealous place. Some will dedicate reddit pages and be up late nights updating a hate club. All this energy, if channeled in the right direction, could have been used for a new career or lifestyle. The feeling of envy can be used to take a temperature of our true desires. For anyone who is lost or stuck in a soul-sucking job, how can you use envy for good?….
Get inspired not jealous….
If they can do it, so can you. Even just attempting and working towards your desires will make you happier. Be surrounded by friends who are accomplishing big dreams.
Would you trade lives with this person?….
Maybe a tiny piece of their life is fantastic. As a whole, maybe they aren’t close to their family or have severe anxiety. You are only seeing a positive sliver.
Fill up your cup first….
Most jealous and resentful people are doing way too much for other people. 9/10 of the time, the other person did not even ask for help or advice. It is easier to focus and fix a friend’s or boyfriend’s life and completely ignore your own.
Your desires are smothered….
Get back in touch with your intuition. This is a good starting place when you are too focused on what other people are doing. Pay attention to yourself.
Write down when you get jealous….
Scrolling though Instagram or when a friend tells you good news, what exactly made you envious? Get really granular about why you felt a pang of hate. There is a pattern that you are not paying attention to.
Start small….
Any career can first be a hobby or side-hustle. You don’t have to jump back into getting a PhD or anything drastic. You might discover it was only that he or she received a lot of attention and maybe you are lacking friendship or a social circle.
Bottom Line….
When harnessed correctly you can use envy to highlight your true passions. Just make sure it is not just for attention. There are many ways to get praise and admiration. Ask yourself why you need validation. When you are in alignment with your life, you pay less attention to what others are doing. A confident person would never start a hate club or troll on Instagram. Stop fixing other people’s lives and focus on you and your needs.
Our generation will live with roommates longer than the previous generations. With cost of housing and student loans, it is something that many people in their 20s and 30s have to deal with. But what if it could go smoother and with more harmony? In the past, I have made some roommate mistakes, from picking them to delegating household chores. What are some interview questions to ask a potential roommate?….
Picking a roommate….
Should you pick your bestie? Or a total stranger? It really comes down to a person you are not scared to bring things up to. In the case of interviewing a stranger, get a sense of how responsible they are. You don’t want a grifter to sign the lease or bring weirdos over. When you do pick a friend I suggest not your BFF. Becoming roommates can really put a strain on your relationship. Plus, you will be seeing them too often. Best case is they have been vetted by a friend that can vouch for them.
Is it better to let a single person live with you or in a relationship?….
Sometimes it can be a blessing when the roommate has a partner and they are never around. However, you don’t want to host her boyfriend on a nightly basis. A great question to ask is their relationship status and does her boyfriend live in town, etc. For single people ask how active they are at dating. This is a good time to lay out some rules for guests. The type of person who brings men back every weekend might not see the arrangement as a good fit.
What is their definition of clean?….
Some people like the apartment to be tidy and some need a deep clean every Sunday. Two opposite ends of the spectrum should not live together.
Whose furniture will be brought in….
You might have lived there before and now need a new roommate. Or you are both seeking a brand new apartment. The person with the most furniture will, in an unspoken way, somewhat have the upper hand. The person with just bedroom furniture could easily be kicked out. Same thing with the person who owns all the pots and pans and kitchen materials. Get that squared away so there are not duplicates.
What is their job?….
Some people have very unstable jobs or do not have the best work history. No shade to restaurant workers, but that type of job has a high turnover rate and they could get fired very easily. Given the choice, the best pick is someone that is planted in their occupation for years and has a great track record of holding a job.
Can they hang?….
Listen… you want your roommate to be somewhat flexible and not super rigid. Not to say either of you should be walked all over. It just feels better to enter the apartment and not be tiptoeing as you sneak into your room. It’s best when interviewing to take them out to a bar and see how uptight they are. Are they having a tantrum because the bartender forgot their lime in their cocktail?
Bottom Line….
Your home is your safe space. A roommate can make or break your peace and sanity. Biggest advice is make sure this person is vetted. You need to have people in common that can give you important insights. In the micro-sense, you don’t want to be sitting in your car avoiding entering your apartment because you hate their energy. You need a person who knows how to communicate and is responsible, and cherry-on-top, can chill and hang out.
It’s not a hot take that Instagram can be used as a dating app. However, there are ways to boost it to cultivate potential relationships. The thing about Instagram is it still feels like a fairly organic way to meet someone. At this time it does not have vulgar undertones. I will break it down for how the feminine-energy person can attract someone and how the masculine-energy person can pursue…..
Feminine Energy…. . . . .
Make sure your profile pic (avatar) looks great…..
This is how you are going to draw men in. Visually you need to look pretty and alluring. This is not the time to put a pic of your cat or a cartoon. You can still be private and attract a person with just one photograph.
The grid….
Try to not make your grid look like an OnlyFans. (Unless you are trying to start an OnlyFans or only want to receive requests to hook up). For me, my grid is my little art project, but it’s safer to have flattering pictures and some that show travel or personality.
Follow….
Is this the dropping the hanky technique? Maybe. Here is the safer option instead of a cold follow: I prefer following a guy in a band or art page who is local. It makes it seem more innocent, like I am just trying to connect to my community.
Watch a story….
This is taking it to the next step. You can watch a few stories. Do not heart or react or comment. You can just observe a few stories.
Wait for a DM or communication….
Now you wait to see if he has taken an interest. The first step is him sending a follow request. See if he watches your stories or likes any posts.
Masculine Energy…. . . . . .
Go to the “people you may know” section….
These are women who could be mutual friends or are local. Pick someone who you think is attractive to you.
Send a follow request….
She might cut you off there. When she is taken or weirded out, then you are done.
Don’t send a rogue DM….
This to me is very thirsty. It comes off as “hey, baby girl, looking good.” It will give her the ick.
If she accepts the request….
Watch her stories and heart them. Keep doing this periodically.
Pick a story that resonates with you….
When there is a particular story that you found funny or can comment on, then this is when you do a reaction message.
Try to stay away from the fire emoji reaction….
Probably five other guys already did it. You want to be seen as classy and not an F-boy.
See how she responded to the reaction message…
You can gauge her excitement and welcoming nature. For example, her sharing a clip from a comedian you like. You could ask her about it or at the very least send a laughing face emoji reaction.
DM her…
DM her when all of the above has happened. Ask her out sooner than later.
Bottom Line….
When done right, Instagram can be a good tool to create a digital organic way to get a date. More people are on Instagram these days versus the dating apps. The popularity of the dating apps has swiftly decreased. This is a “new” way to put out feelers without a hard rejection in the wild. Make sure, both as a man and woman, to make your profile appealing to who you are trying to attract. Your instagram grid is your brand; make sure it appeals to your audience.
We all know about a “fair-weather friend,” whom I consider mainly a 3rd-tier casual friend. Or, worst, a social climber who globs onto you, trying to ride your coattails. But a “bad-weather friend” is someone whom you talk trash with. Misery loves company when things are in the dumps. What happens when good things start to happen to you?….
You complain about men….
This one is super common for women to bond. The problem happens when one of you gets a boyfriend. The dynamic and roles change and the single friend might feel threatened. If this person is your BFF, then there are ways to minimize the drama….
Keep quiet about your relationship….
Influencer, Tinx, coins this “boyfriend sickness” when you bring up your boyfriend in every sentence. It can become grating on people. Plus, they are not in the relationship and can’t relate to your excitement.
When asked about your boyfriend….
Try to downplay everything, especially if it’s going well. The instinct is to shout from the rooftops, but it could invite criticism and jealously. They could plant toxic seeds into your subconscious and cause a fight within your romantic relationship.
Keep seeing your friends….
It’s important to not abandon all your friends. The smartest thing to do is to maintain your schedule and routines.
. . . . . . . .
You got a promotion at work and your friend is unemployed….
Finding a job is a full-time job. She might be used to complaining and to feeling lost and hopeless while you are thriving and about to make more money. It is tricky when two friends are not on the same financial level. The friend with money feels held back and the friend without money feels pressured to spend what they don’t have….
Help your friend meet the right people….
Instead of sending job alerts from Indeed, help them network with the right people. You can google search a meet-up group that might help and you can join for support.
As the wealthier friend, don’t be weird about Venmo….
To you, $20 here and there is not a huge deal to lose, but to her it’s the week’s grocery allowance. Try not to nickel-and-dime your friend for tiny things. However, you can’t expect her to go to a five-star restaurant either. Try to do more hang-outs at home with wine versus an expensive night out.
Have different types of friends….
It’s ok to have fancy friends and more-down-to-earth friends. Each can bring out a different side of you. The mistake is trying to force a friend into a different category. If you have gone from rags to riches, you will lose friends. However, it is fine to remain humble and low-key unless the energy is preventing success. The best friends are supportive even if it means you will see them less.
Bottom Line….
When good things happen keep it under wraps. The reason is more for your protection versus being ashamed of bragging. People who you have created a dynamic of complaining and bitching will be triggered when that changes. It is ok to have certain friends for certain categories. When it’s a best friend try to not brag and boast in front of them, especially if they are struggling. You can do your best to surround yourself with like-minded people. However, not all good news lines up with everyone. Overall, go against the instinct of sharing good news and spare people the details. Yes, friends should be excited, but it can also trigger their own insecurities that can unconsciously sabotage you.
I recently went to a comedy show with semi-professional comedians. Everything was going great until….an unknowing heckler started chiming in. She was maybe in her 50s and it could be possible that this was her first comedy show. Not only did she disrupt the show by talking, but her phone rang for ten minutes during a set. For anyone wanting to watch live comedy and get into the scene, I have some notes. There is such a thing as comedy etiquette. What can you do to become a great audience?…..
First off there is planned material….
I want to get down to the basics. Comedians are not winging it doing an improv set (although some do). The material is meticulously planned out and timed. When you interrupt, you are stepping on the joke and messing up the timing.
“But…comics do crowd work”….
Yes. Comedians will do crowd work or have to deal with a heckler. However, they prefer to not go off script and dedicate a whole set to an audience member. If they ask someone in the crowd a question, they are willing to do crowd work.
“I am making the show funnier”….
You actually aren’t. In the case of this older woman, it was giving “barfly” energy. Meaning, it was attention seeking and desperate.
How can you be a good audience….
Show up on time – don’t be coming in late where everyone is distracted unless it is a huge venue
Turn off cellphones- make sure you phone is silent or off
No talking during a set- Again, in certain settings you might need to order a drink at a bar, but beyond that zip it
Don’t get up during a set- wait to use the bathroom and try your best not to cross in front of the stage
Laugh- they want you to laugh and clap and be present
Don’t sit in the front row- unless you want to be part of the show, sit further back
Don’t wear a crazy outfit- try to blend in as best as possible to avoid getting roasted
If appropriate, compliment- If they are standing near the exit after the show tell them it was a great set
Don’t corner them- You have to be brief and see if the comic wants to chat. Don’t hold him or her hostage
Don’t heckle or yell out- goes without saying. Do not interrupt the show unless prompted by the performer.
Bottom Line….
Be a respectful audience member to the comedian. Even if you do not like the performance, still be respectful. Most of the rules are not to disrupt the show and to distract the comic from the set. It is never ok to yell out. You may think you are being hilarious and “helping the comic out.” I assure you, you are not. It is attention seeking and a lack of self-awareness. Anyone who wants to “be apart of the show” should look inward and possibly take an improv class. It can give you perspective on how hard it is to perform in front of people.
Everything runs smoother when there is a plan in place, from having a list for the grocery store to a work presentation. My best advice for women who are naturally cycling is to have a tracker to be forewarned and forearmed for when a sour mood may strike. In any situation, hormonal or not, there should be a protocol. Here are some tips that can help you get by…..
For women in the luteal phase….
This is hormonal, and every month in your luteal phase you have PMS. First determine the worst day of your cycle and do anything you can to lie low. Maybe you have the flexibility to work from home. A day or two before, buy yourself chocolate, chips, your favorite frozen food from Trader Joe’s …you get it. Plan to stick around the house and watch rom-coms. A lot of your annoyances will be quieted just by staying home.
The mood out of nowhere springs upon you….
Let’s say, if someone off the street yells,”your shirt sucks”, then try to remain calm. For 98% of the time, anything that anyone says has nothing to do with you. You cannot take what people say on a random whim as gospel.
No one is against you….
Inflation and gosh-darn fast food prices! I mean how can we not be in a bad mood daily? Most people rarely to never think about you when you are out of their line of vision. It’s probably not true that your friend Becky is jealous and does not want you to find true love. The world as a whole does not even remember your name most of the time. And that’s an amazing thing.
If your life is a trash pile in general…
The people who tend to be the moodiest are not in alignment with themselves. They could be holding onto resentment from working for a horrible ungrateful boss. Maybe your boyfriend never takes them on date night anymore. You have to put your needs first before anyone else. No one really needs your help in most cases and you are using it as a distraction or a bribe later on.
Expect less from others….
Your friends are great and love you. Stop expecting them to do hard emotional labor for you daily. Be the type of friend they can’t wait to invite or introduce to people.
When you are in a rut…
How are you waking up in the morning? Is it to jump up to a blaring alarm in order to work for no money for a boss who could care less if you exist? Quit your job and pursue your dream and passions. You will not be rewarded for your hard work, only your results. Be brave and meet with a career coach, talk to a mentor, take classes, network, watch YouTube videos. Find your life purpose and your joy.
Stop consuming sad or disturbing content….
This can include music, movies, the news, podcasts, etc. Listening to a brutal crime podcast isn’t going to make you feel rejuvenated. Be very strict with who you follow on socials and what you watch on TV. I am very influenced by music, so, truthfully, I choose to not listen to it as much. Pick the right comedic messenger to give you the news.
Drink alcohol sparingly ….
Cut way back on drinking. It will disrupt your sleep and next day you will have anxiety or low energy. Do yourself a favor and have a drink only on rare occasions. It’s not worth ruining your next day.
When in doubt….
Go for a long walk while listening to an uplifting podcast, get hydrated, take a nap, watch a funny show that you love, eat whatever your body wants. You can vent to someone if something happens and if it’s a funny story. Most bad moods are unprompted and pass like a ship in the night. I wouldn’t flame the fire and get gassed up for nothing.
Remember… celebrities get over scandals by lying low….
It is fine to go out less and reflect more. You are paying for streaming, so you might as well watch. Decline invitations and take time to rest. Your friends should be understanding if you need to focus on work or self-care. Good friends will be available when you are ready to resurface.
Go to therapy….
When bad moods persist, a therapist can help you come up with solutions. You might feel lost and spinning your wheels. That would be a good time to seek help and discover what you can do to get out of a rut.
Bottom Line….
Everyone on the planet has had a bad day. It could be caused by random, outside sources or because you are in a life rut. Be honest with yourself on how often you feel bad and what is causing it. Most things in life can be changed. You can quit your job, move, or start over. For hormonal issues, get ahead of the phase and be prepared. Allow yourself time to be home and rest. Everyone can use a therapist to learn healthy coping skills instead of bad coping mechanisms as a crutch. Put yourself and self-care before anything else.
We all want to be humane in dating. No one wants to be ghosted or rejected. I would say if rejection needs to be voiced, then do so. However, the “anti-ghost” text does not always have to be implemented. I went on an app date one time and it was very clear we were not connecting and it wasn’t going well. He felt he had to send a “postmortem” text recapping the date. I would have been totally fine with just a simple fade-out. When is it rude to send out the anti-ghost text?…
What is the anti – ghost text?….
It is a communication letting your date know you are not a fit and you will be moving on.
When is it appropriate….
When your feelings towards each other are not meshing you do not want to mislead someone. It is unfair to the person who really likes you to be duped or blindsided.
See how he or she acts after the first date…
You will know how it went when there is no communication. On the date you need to be able to feel out the overall chemistry. You will know when a date is not going well when there are dead silences and awkwardness. See how long the date lasted and if a drink was offered or not. You can tell by body language and lack of interest in asking questions. With app dates you are meeting a person for the first time. They might have felt there was a connection through text, but in person it did not translate.
There is no need to recap the date when it didn’t go well….
No matter how you felt there is no need to add insult to injury. People know when a date is not clicking and more often than not it is mutual. Some people feel the need to express what the person failed to do on the date. It is only going to push that person away and insult them.
Beware of too much communication before a date….
The more you talk on the phone and text before the first date, the worse the meeting in person will be. It makes sense to be cautious especially when a date is long distance. Most men will not want to jump on a zoom. Anyone can be great through text or a phone call. It is a false sense of closeness that can backfire.
When a man is truly interested you will not be left in the dark….
Most second dates are made on the first date. Phone numbers will be exchanged and he will express that he had a great time. Most men are not coy and trying to play it cool. Momentum is real and he will want to lock you down before someone else scoops you up.
Keep going on dates with others….
When you are getting out there and meeting a lot of new dates it is good practice to keep it moving. It is a mistake to wait around holding onto someone who is not interested. You should not send a text to “end it” just to make yourself feel better. Some people encourage transparency, but it feels unnecessary to text a person just for the satisfaction of rejecting someone. Delete the number and move on.
Bottom Line…..
Admit to yourself that you know when a date goes well or not. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for. Men are not playing aloof or coy on dates. It will be clear when he is interested and wants to see you again. Men should not send out the postmortem text as well. It is rude to reject and insult your date when it simply just wasn’t a good fit.
Let’s all admit that we are seeking a spark when we go on a first date. A lot of dating coaches encourage you to accept the 2nd date no matter what. I do agree with that. However, men will more than likely refuse a second date if he doesn’t feel “the spark” and gets more of a friend vibe. Sometimes you can control a first date from how you show up. Is there a way to create chemistry on a first date?….
Be in a good mood….
That’s really what it comes down to in a nutshell. You can’t show up being a little sourpuss. Really dedicate your pre-date to getting out of your head and into your body. I like to do a “drama dump” in my car and get out all the muck that is bothering me. Then get in the zone by listening with my air pods to my favorite hype song.
Tell stories, not facts….
Captivate your audience by telling stories, not answering facts in a dry way. Ask leading questions that are not a yes or no answer. Get him talking about things you can both connect on. Everyone has fun stories that they can tell (no bathroom mishap stories), even if you are speaking about your friends or family.
Be present….
Put away the phone and make eye contact. Nod and smile when he is talking. Repeat words to let the person know you have been listening. Use one word he used to craft your sentence. He “This food is so spicy! My mouth is burning!” You: Yes! Speaking of spicy have you ever tried ghost peppers?”
Ask him questions….
Men want to know you are interested. This isn’t a one-sided interview. Try to ask fun questions instead of the boring stock questions without getting too deep. You can ask where his favorite vacation spot is as an example. Make sure these are softball questions, not asking him what he thinks the meaning of life is. Also… a biggie is to stop giving him hypothetical questions that will make him roll his eyes… “if I were a worm, would you find me attractive?”…. Stop. Also, you don’t have to try to be funny. It’s fine if you are naturally witty, but every sentence should not be a random reference from a TV show or you doing bits.
Look hot….
We can all step it up. Make it a habit to keep up with hair appointments and updating your wardrobe. You don’t have to look like you are going to the club to look sexy. In fact, try to dress a little bit more conservative while still complementing the shape of your body. Find out the best colors to wear for your skin tone as well.
Don’t give him the impression you are “the fun girl”….
Try to not get wasted on the date or be “too fun.” It will backfire to be the girl that he can only see as hitting the bars with. Communicate how passionate you are with your job or helping the community. You have to paint a picture that you aren’t going to be throwing up in an Uber every time you hang out.
Be funny, flirty, and free….
Flirting to me simply means being witty and complimentary. It’s not licking your lips and winking. Be funny and make the conversation light. Act free by not being demanding and putting pressure on him. This is not an interrogation.
Bottom Line…
Beware of him saying “I didn’t feel the spark,” if you did all these things. That is guy code for him not being attracted to you. So, let it go. Attraction is a man’s only criteria for moving along the relationship. Do not take it personally, everyone has a type. However…. this is not to say to put up a wall and to sulk in the corner. You have to be an active participant in the date. And you do have to create chemistry to a certain degree.
I want to talk about the gray area of needing some extra help. In the extremes, it is immensely important to seek professional help. I will not be speaking of crisis mode. I remember going to therapy for a five-year stretch and then hitting a wall. I treated therapy like a spoken-word- improv set. For anyone who needs a little boost, what are some alternative paths for feeling more centered?…..
If you are in therapy….
In the beginning of therapy, you might be in a trauma phase where you don’t know what is wrong. This is where therapy is great and helpful. However, near the end of my sessions, I felt I had to rehash old trauma that no longer affected my life to produce “content” for the session. Have notes of what you want to speak about versus speaking freely.
Consider a coach or mentor….
Seeking out a life coach might be laughed at in your circle of friends. But why? First of all, a therapist legally is not allowed to give you direct advice. You have to come to your own conclusions. In certain cases, such as making career or dating decisions, a direct yes or no is more helpful.
Exercise and breath work….
Most stress presents in the physical body. It is important to move your body daily and get some fresh air and sunshine. Breath work does not have to be an hour-long thing; it can be for five minutes a day.
Diet, sleep, routines….
Any way to dampen stress will be life-changing. Reconsider a stressful job or relationship. You should not be overwhelmed and stressed daily. This can mean quitting caffeine, junk food, and alcohol and prioritizing sleep and rest.
Journal out your problems….
It is great to get your feelings on the page. It is best to do so either at the beginning or end of the day. Once it is in a notebook, it has cleared out “the muck” and now there is room for new thoughts.
Digital Detox….
I say this a ton. Everyone knows not to watch the news on TV all day. However, there are micro- detoxes to do. Ask yourself how often you are listening to other people’s problems. Yes, it can be helpful; however, when every podcast is an advice podcast, it makes it seem like life is full of endless problems. Balance out your rotation with uplifting motivating podcasts.
Who are you surrounded with?….
How many fires are you putting out for other people? It is not a bad idea to do a gradual fade-out for certain friendships. Your test should be how you feel when you leave the hang-out or what your gut reaction is when they text. These days, it is very easy to demote people and to “be busy.” Most will get the hint.
Bottom Line….
Bettering yourself can be in micro-shifts that can make a huge impact. Living situations, jobs, and friendships can shape your stress level and quality of life. All are temporary and fixable. For anyone currently in therapy, have a solid plan for the hour session. You may also consider only signing up for a few sessions versus an unending commitment. Coaches and mentors should be utilized more. With coaches you can be focused on one goal such as career or your love life. The free ways to feel better are exercise, giving yourself a routine, and journaling. Lastly, ask yourself what you are mentally consuming, such as the news or even podcasts that are not productive or motivating.
No one is born a good host. Like being charming and being sociable you need tools to know how to be a good host. Don’t think that hosting is not in your blood if you have had a failed attempt. You can always start small with just close friends and see how it goes. Here are some guidelines for a smoother holiday party…..
Location….
Some homes are simply too far away or confusing to get to. It will enrage your guests when they keep getting lost to your remote cabin. Consider if your home is close enough in town or in a convenient location where people can park without getting towed.
Decorations and Lighting….
For the holidays you should have a home that is tastefully decorated. This can mean in your own style. However, things should have a flow and complement each other. It should not be haphazard. Lighting is crucial to setting the tone to be relaxing. You want your guests to be relaxed and soothed. No overhead lights allowed.
Furniture placement….
Create a living room, or screened-in porch, or kitchen area, etc, to have ample seating. In most social situations people are not stagnant. They will mingle from room to room. Some might want fresh air, and some might be in an in-depth conversation in the corner.
Have built-in entertainment….
You need a reason for people to come beyond chatting. The best parties have an activity or entertainment. Beer bong and flip cup can be fun and also karaoke or listening to a live band. You can have drinking games and play a fun mix of music to keep the energy up.
Specialty Drinks….
Come up with a speciality cocktail and mocktail version. Have beer and wine in the fridge as options as well. It is fun to come up with an overall cocktail that is seasonal. For large parties make it a cold cocktail and for small parties do a batch of mulled wine.
Food….
Think bite-sized and easy to grab and eat. It’s best to have trays out with food with toothpicks for easy pickup. Provide napkins. Avoid shrimp or anything that someone could be allergic to. Make sure to have vegan options.
To avoid a late night party….
If you are scared that people will wind up crashing on the couch, then present as a pre-game party. This can only work for people who live walking distance to bars or a quick Uber ride. It can be fun to plan around an event downtown and have a brief party where your guests can drop in. Make sure to communicate that to guests.
Dress code….
You can set the tone of how classy the party is. It all depends on your friends’ vibe. Some people would be thrilled to be able to dress to the nines. While others would rather have a silly ugly sweater party.
Bottom Line…..
The worst thing to happen to a party is not having a plan. You will feel more confident when you have some sort of entertainment for your guests. For people who feel they are good hosts, but do not have a hosting home then co-host with a friend. Sometimes having two hosts is easier and the party will run smoother. Make sure people can park and the location is easy to find. Consider who you are inviting and what type of party your friend group would enjoy. You can always take the pressure off and just host a pre-game party, then go downtown to an event or the bars after.
Mostly Casual 