How To Not Drink Alcohol On NYE

New Years Eve is one of, if not the biggest drinking holiday. Coming off the tails of Christmas it is a way to toast to the year to come. However… what does that mean for anyone who is sober curious or a long time non – drinker? The good news is it is popular to participate in Dry January and try out not drinking for a select amount of time. How can you ring in the new year without a hangover on January 1st?….

First off, it might be impossible to get to the bar….

When you have plans to hit the town you will be faced with a mob of people screaming at the bartender for drinks. Even if you want a glass of sparkling wine you might not be able to.

Decide what your plan is….

The more you meander and are not solid about your plans then your friends or even strangers might lure you into the bar and offer drinks. It always best to obviously be safe, but also know what venue or bar you will be at.

Speaking of venue….

A lackluster bar watching a football game is too boring. You need to be dancing and having an amazing time. There is more temptation to get sloshed when there is nothing special happening.

Carry limited cash….

One way to at least limit drinking is to only carry a set amount of cash on you. When you have run out of money you are done.

Do a nice dinner instead of pre-gaming….

It’s classy to do a nice dinner either in your home or at a restaurant. It prevents you from being in a mindset of getting drunk with everyone around you

Most bars have fancy mocktails….

Compared to even five years ago bars have kept up with trends of people upstaining from alcohol. I recently went to a fancy cocktail bar that offered adaptogen fake liquor. It gave the specialness and care of a regular cocktail without the consequences.

Leave before the ball drops….

No need to stay out. I recommend doing the Spanish tradition of eating 12 grapes under a table at the stroke of midnight. I did this last new years when I decided to stay in. I consider 2024 one of my luckiest years, just saying.

Bottom Line….

Yes, you can still enjoy yourself on New Years Eve Sober. The main problem I have faced with drinking in the past is being around people who will peer pressure. Don’t get sucked into a plan that you don’t want. I give you permission to ignore the texts. All superstitions are to prevent bringing bad vibes into the new year. Be joyous, kiss, dance the night away.

A Naughty List For Lovers

With the film “Baby Girl” coming out on Christmas Day I wanted to talk about the juxtaposition of holidays movies catered to adults. Christmas, like most holidays, is centered around children and families. It seems more taboo to embrace sexuality and kink. As young children the feeling and excitement of Christmas comes mainly from receiving presents without the burden of returning the favor. As adults trying to capture the excitement and anticipation, one of the ways we can do this is through sex. How can you spice up your holiday season with a situationship or partner? Here are some suggestions….

Have a sexy Holiday movie night….

There are a lot of unofficial Christmas movies such as “Die Hard” or “Gremlins”. However, they do not create a sensual vibe. If that’s what you’re looking for, there are plenty of lists online to google, but a few stand outs are “Eyes Wide Shut” and “Reindeer Games”. My personal choice is the movie “Go” which takes place during the Christmas season.

Go out to dinner and order oysters and champagne….

It’s a cliche, but there are food items that are more luxe and sophisticated rather than cookies or fruit cake. Dress up and go to an upscale spot that has a Christmas decor atmosphere before Christmas.

Model lingerie….

Surprise your partner with a red lingerie set and a Santa hat. Keep it playful and fun. Bonus points for festive dirty talk and role play!

Light candles….

Set the mood for the season by eating by candle light or go to a bar or restaurant that has a fire place and dim lightning. If your home has a fire place then light the fire and turn on the Christmas tree.

Hang mistletoe in a doorway….

It’s a cute reminder to kiss whenever you enter a home or bedroom.

Sing, play music, or create a playlist….

Great for music lovers. I recommend a blue tooth karaoke mic and singing on your phone in Youtube. For true musicians you can play music on piano or guitar. Or you can use Spotify or Apple Music to create a personal Christmas playlist. (For example Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me”). Go beyond carols and stick to original Christmas albums.

Tie each other up using Christmas lights….

Is it silly? yes. However it can be memorable and a great sexy photo shoot idea.

Bottom Line….

Spice it up this season with your situationship or committed partner. You can create new holiday traditions that center around you as a couple versus obligations to family. All the suggestions are not to be taken seriously and can be modified for your liking. It’s good to think outside the wrapped Christmas box. Above all, remember to have some fun and de stress!

Crowd Pleaser Holiday Gifts

There are people who are impossible to shop for. It can get frustrating because they have everything and when they have a desire to have something it will be purchased. This is the time to think outside the box and try to be sustainable if possible. I always like to give people a useful gift that can be used all year long. What are some gift ideas for anyone you aren’t super close to or a hard to shop for person?….

Think outside a physical gift….

This is my first instinct for this type of person. Most people will not take a random class or feel that a certain streaming service is a little too indulgent. For an older person a technology favor could really help them out. Such as organizing their desktop or to help block scammers on their computer and phone. Movie passes to an indie cinema, concert tickets, sports tickets etc are also an option.

Go personal…

Anyone who is artsy or has a fun hobby this is the time to shine. Anything handmade or designed by you adds a special touch. You can easily set up a red bubble or similar site and add your art. A cute tote bag or tee shirt with your design can be a great gift.

Plants….

A plant can be a great gift for most people. You can help breathe some air into a space with an easy to care for plant. Create a starter herb garden with small plants that can be used indoors next to a kitchen window. They also make indoor herb kits with lights. Another option is fun and artsy plant holders. You can paint a plain one, thrift, or find one at a holiday market.

The mixologist….

Set up your friend’s home bar. Get them started with some bitters, shaker, a simple cart etc. The entertainer loves to have a fancy decanters to show off to guests. For non drinkers help stock a coffee or tea bar.

Sheets and pillowcases….

Nice sheets only get softer with each wash. A silk pillowcase is very helpful for anyone who doesn’t want to wake up with bed head. It’s great to give everyday luxury that they can use all year. A cozy large throw blanket can be a good idea as well.

Food gifts….

Make gourmet bread or sweets for people. This is great for relatives you don’t know that well and you are mailing them items. There are companies that offer food packages as well. Keep food simple and double check dietary needs.

Cashmere scarf….

No one would dislike a quality scarf or hat. Keep the color neutral, black is probably the safest bet. A sweater might be too expensive for most, so something smaller (socks) might be better for your budget.

Gift cards…

With gift cards I try to go local. This could be to a local day spa, restaurant, or book store. It seems more thought out than an amazon gift card.

Art…

This is great for people who have blank walls and need an art curator. Go to the flea markets, thrift stores, or local art markets. If you know your friend or family member’s taste this can be great to help them decorate. Also you can go to Etsy or other sites for downloadable art then thrift a nice frame.

Bottom Line….

These are examples of crowd pleaser gifts. It is great to go personal whenever possible however, sometimes you need to give gifts to people you are not as close to such as a co -worker or family member. I enjoy a non physical gift or favor that could really help out someone. Try to shop small, second hand, and buy a gift card from a local business. It will help out the local economy and give money back to the community.

The Brat Girl And The Rodent Boyfriend

Last year was “feral girl summer” which is an unapologetic trend for women. This year the two trends are “brat girl” and “rodent boyfriend.” The brat girl is someone who is a party girl and enjoys being single. The rodent boyfriend’s physical features look like a rat’s. He is more of an artsy creative type. I would say both of these people would be at the same party. How can you embody this trend and meet a rodent boyfriend?

Go to events….

This goes without saying. You have to show up to the party to be a party girl. Check your local paper or social media to find out what is happening.

Dress to impress….

Not to say you need to wear club wear. It is more of a female gaze-type dressing. Meaning you are NOT wearing normal (almost boring) clothes to impress men. You can lean into neon green, dye your hair purple, and wear spikey jewelry.

How to find the rodent boyfriend….

He might be at the poetry slam night, or indie movie night. Be prepared for him to man-splane about the cinema or gate-keep certain albums.

These two archetypes have different goals….

The rodent boyfriend is more introverted and prides himself in being unique. The brat girl is extroverted and wants to express herself outwardly. It can be a case of opposite attracts, but sometimes a difference in lifestyle can make it a short term summer romance.

The brat girl likes being single….

She isn’t chasing down men. Her goal isn’t to try to land a boyfriend. The point is she is having fun solo or with friends at the bar or club. This is a great lesson for many women to allow yourself to breathe and enjoy being single.

Take the brat girl attitude into the fall…

The thing about these certain summer trends is it is a way to try things out for a trial period. Hair color fades and you can donate your bright color clothes. Or… maybe this fits what you have been wanting to express. We get so bogged down with what other people want women to wear. It is nice to feel confident in going against the grain.

Bottom Line….

Both of the archetypes of being a rodent boyfriend or a brat girl are two independent people. They could cross paths and share something short-lived and that’s the point. It is living in the moment and enjoying single life. You are expressing a young attitude and outward appearance. You might dye your hair hot pink and wear intense makeup. The main thing is having fun and being with friends, most importantly, and to allow organic things to happen.

Why It’s Ok To Have A Routine Vacation Spot

It’s the time of year when Instagram feeds are filled with vacations from simple beach trips to European decadence. Vacations are very personal to each person. There are two camps of people who think each vacation should be completely different and new versus those who like familiarity and comfort of a same location. For me personally, I have been going on the same vacation my whole life every summer. What are the perks of having a routine vacation?….

You can adjust faster….

The thing about traveling is that it takes a few days just to adjust and get settled in. When you go to a location where you don’t know where anything is you are wasting time possibly getting lost to the grocery store.

It’s easier to plan out the rest of the year….

Space away from your everyday life is a great time to reflect on what you want to accomplish. It is hard to see things clearly when it’s too much in front of you. I read somewhere that Bill Gates has somewhat of a retreat and reset each year. Again, it’s a time to allow yourself to sit and reflect and take an audit of what is really working.

You can try out a new lifestyle….

For example, you might be a late riser and party person back home. Why not try out a sober period where you wake up earlier and adopt more healthy habits? Even if it’s only for two weeks. Toy with being vegan or no coffee. See how it all makes you feel.

You won’t get home sick…

A “home away from home” won’t make you feel sad and want your own bed.

Packing will be a breeze….

Nothing is more stressful than not knowing what to pack. When you have an idea of what the weather is like, what the laundry situation is, and what shops are available it makes packing more seamless.

It’s a good way to check your progress….

When there is a common variable it is easier to see how you are stress- or happiness-wise. We set so many goals in the year. It is nice to see what has been accomplished.

Bottom Line….

Would some say it is boring and basic to travel to the same place every year? Of course. It is glorified to be a jet-setter and travel to as many new places as humanly possible. I do think it is good to experience new culture and cities. Some families might travel to the same ski resort or might share a condo in Florida. It is perfectly fine to enjoy summer however it suits you. Your mindset and your ability to use your time wisely will set you up for a lucrative rest of the year.

Valentine’s Day Solo Date Ideas

Valentine’s Day should never be a sad day for singles. It is a great opportunity to treat yourself and indulge a little bit more. When you have things on the books you will be less swayed to cave and hook up with your ex. However, for people wanting to be social there are options for that as well. This is the time to get into your “soft girl era” and be the main character. What are some solo Valentine’s Day ideas?….

Book appointments….

Get your hair done, nails, facial, massage….you name it. Whatever you have been putting off, then book it. Create big blocks of time where you aren’t looking at your phone.

Buy yourself flowers….

A sweet bouquet from Trader Joe’s will do just fine. Get some roses and display them in a nice vase where you can see them.

Get yourself chocolates or make a dessert….

For the bakers out there this is a no brainer. For non-cooks you can do break-and-bake cookies for yourself or simply buy chocolate.

Manifest and write down your ideal partner check list….

Write yourself a letter of you in the future with your ideal partner. Get down to specifics and write out your ideal man. Don’t be vague or too general. Get into appearance, occupation, and his character. Write it in the present tense and do a thank you style letter. Keep the letter in an envelope in a special place.

Turn off notifications for the dating apps….

Today is not a great swiping day. It’s not the time to meet a stranger at Starbucks.

Put your phone on “do not disturb”….

No distractions are allowed for the day. Turn off all notifications or put your phone in DND mode.

Go shopping or thrifting….

Do the fun errands that you enjoy and browse your favorite stores.

Watch Rom Coms….

Turn on your favorite rom coms from the 2000s or watch your comfort show

Take a dance class….

Book a fun hip-hop dance class and get into your body

Sit at the bar at a restaurant…..

Go to a restaurant that has great food at the bar. You can drink wine and get a great meal. Avoid any restaurant that is advertising Valentine’s Day specials.

Bottom Line….

Let this day be about you. It is a perfect day to book beauty appointments or a massage. When you plan ahead you won’t feel a panic to spend time with a stranger. Keep your phone on “do not disturb” and do not use your dating apps. Anything that you would want from a partner, provide for yourself. Get yourself the flowers, dessert and wine. Romanticize your life on this day and go a little extra on self-care.

Do Less to Get More in 2024

Before the new year starts, it is time to reflect on 2023. For me, I did a ton of things that were total time sucks. You will not be rewarded for effort, only results. Anything that takes away time or doubles your effort should be avoided. Go through 2023 and decide what you can take off your plate. It is also a great time to do a purge of things you do not use. Get rid of expired food items, donate clothing, regift kitchen appliances that still work but you never use. You want to clear a space for a fresh start. I enjoy deep cleaning my car and doing a deep clean of the bathroom. Any superstitious people should not clean on New Year’s Day, so best to get it over with before the 1st. What can we let go of to bring in more?….

Toxic things and people….

Did you go with your gut this year, or did you push through? Most of the time, obligations stand in the way of our happiness. There might be pressure to socialize with a certain friend or drink too much alcohol. In dating, there is a lot of begging and pushing. Are you saying yes to “not cause drama” ? Your job could make you want to throw up every morning. Really step back and see how you feel about everything in your life.

Applying to jobs you are not qualified for….

Most people would say, “Hey, there is no harm in applying.” But when you spend hours of your day crafting the perfect cover letter only to be rejected? Network more and stop applying online. You will get way more out of a networking mixer than a daily cold email. Turn off those job alerts to avoid getting into a time suck.

Your health and wellness….

Your party friends do not want you to be healthy. They loved the 2am drive-thru after drinking or the couch-potato lifestyle you shared. When you decide to get healthy, closing down the bar will be replaced with staying home. Not to say you can’t go out here and there. However, most of the fun friends will fade away. This isn’t to discourage, but social pressure can stand in the way of losing weight and getting sober.

Gossip and drama….

It’s fun to get the scoop on celebrity gossip and be informed. Work and friendship gossip should be avoided. Once you talk about one friend behind their back it will blow up eventually. Look inward and be inspired rather than wasting time on trying to ruin someone. Envy means you want what they have. Work on yourself and your goals and stay in your own lane.

Skim down your friend group….

Put your friends into categories. There are long-distance friends who you can chat online with. And there should be a friend that you can be inspired by. Maybe their career is going well or they are an “expander” in what you thought was possible. Sparingly, you need an extrovert friend who wants to be social with you. Avoid friends who only want to complain and talk about problems. Nothing wrong with a minor crisis here and there. Shouldn’t be a daily habit to complain and ask for help. Make sure you are not burdening people with things you should do yourself.

Dating with no momentum….

Dating apps are a total time suck. One minute you are swiping, then four hours go by. It’s my personal opinion to delete the apps if you are interested in dating seriously. Get yourself together and go to a mixer, set up, or get more out there in person. Another time suck is chasing after a guy who does not like you–stalking his Instagram, hovering over the message button, and orbiting him.

Distractions…..

I understand it’s healthy to let off steam and avoid the world. However, it is easy to get addicted and use video games, for an example, as a way to avoid responsibilities and being present with the people in your life. However, you can maximize your time by doing two things at once. For example, listening to a podcast while working out or washing the dishes.

Replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one….

Drink a relaxing tea instead of a glass of wine. Go to the gym instead of going to the bar. Prioritize eating habits, sleep, and exercise and see if you are tempted to still be unhealthy.

Bottom Line….

Take an audit of 2023. Be honest with what was a total waste of time. It is more important to take things off your priority list rather than piling on. The first step should be a purge of items, people, jobs, and distractions that do not serve you. As far as dating and relationships, see what worked and what didn’t. We waste a lot of time going in blind for first app dates. Time cannot be replaced, which is why it should not be mindlessly wasted and squandered. In 2024, remember that effort will not be rewarded, only results. Stick to things that truly work and keep things simple and clean to achieve that.

2023 Wrapped: End Of Year Advice

I personally do not have Spotify, but I love the concept of having the data of what mood and vibe you were in for the year. Most of us probably didn’t calculate our dating data, or even what were the total of first dates that led to second dates. But, hey, maybe we should pay more attention. Regardless, it’s time to think how we felt about 2023 as a whole. This is advice I gathered for this year and what to work towards for a more enjoyable dating experience. How can you reflect and start the new year on the right foot?….

Your year as a whole….

Maybe dating took a back seat, but you got a nice promotion at work. It is best to be proud of other accomplishments and see the whole picture. You could have met a few more friends or gotten closer to family. Give yourself credit for those things.

What was your worst date and what was your best date?…..

Reflect on both extremes and pick apart the reason it went sour. In contrast, think about why a date went right. Go through length of the date, type of date, location, what you were wearing, if you had a pre-date, etc. You can notice patterns that could have caused it to go well or flop.

How many dating-app dates versus real life?….

Yes, dating-app dates are easy and convenient. But they are probably not the quality dates you want. You could say you went on 100 app dates this year, but they probably only resulted in a first date. Stop being scared of dating mixers or speed dating. ( I do prefer a mixer versus speed dating since it isn’t forced). It can be a great opportunity to meet multiple men in person.

Were all your dates coffee dates?….

If you want a job interview environment, you got it. The atmosphere does not foster a romantic connection. I understand you probably want a sober date versus a bar. You have to think of environment and lighting first. You can choose how many drinks you drink or how long you stay. Find a romantic ornate tea shop and go there for a sober date versus a Starbucks. It’s all about an atmosphere that will encourage you to relax and connect.

Do you need that revenge body?….

The better you look, the better the choices and the better you will be treated. Is that fair? No. It’s just how dating works. Invest in yourself and take care of your physical appearance. Get your hair done, buy a new outfit, join a gym, get your makeup done professionally. There is zero downside to looking more attractive.

Should you be more choosy?….

This is the time to trust your intuition. Give yourself enough time to get to know someone before you go on a date. The “ick” can creep on you sooner than you expect. It’s best to feel things out before you dive in. Quality over quantity. It’s ok to go on fewer dates.

Bottom Line….

This year for me was not so great for dating, but good for other aspects of life. Dating is not the be-all and end-all and you should try to become more well-rounded. Try your best to think outside of the dating apps. If you haven’t tried to involve your friends or gone to a mixer, then give it a whirl. Be more choosy of whom you give your time to. It’s ok to go on a date once a month instead of once a week. If you want more options, then work on your physical appearance. It will open more doors in all aspects of your life. Most importantly, it’s best to repeat what really was working and bringing you joy this year.

The Date Night Perfume

Scent is the most popular Christmas gift for couples. This time of year it’s normal to peruse a Macy’s, hoping someone will give you a gift set. A perfect fragrance can be a signature for you and a core memory for whomever you date. However, when a scent is wrong, then it’s a disaster. When a man calls your perfume “cologne,” you know you messed up. How can you take a delicate approach to fragrance?….

Consider your base scent….

All your scents need to be in harmony. Make sure your deodorant isn’t running the show in a bad way. It is best to pick a scent you like best since it will be worn daily. Go with something subtle that will still keep you fresh.

Avoid musk….

When you see the word “musk” I personally would avoid it. It can work on certain people but frankly most men do not like it.

Go clean….

There are great subtle scents that are marked as “shower fresh,” “clean,” “water,” “cool.” Those types complement your soap and will be more pleasant.

Go flirty….

Keep in mind this is date night, so it’s needs an extra push. This doesn’t mean go bold; it should be a girly / sweet fragrance. Overall, it should NOT be overpowering, dark, moody, etc.

Beware of the “sexy” fragrance….

When in doubt go subtle. A great date fragrance is airy and light. You should apply it very lightly so it is not overpowering. Most “sexy” scents are very strong and loud. It is best to not get caught up in marketing. You don’t want to give your date a migraine.

Try before you buy….

It is always best to try on perfume and see if it meshes with your natural scent. Wait about 30 minutes and keep smelling it. You are seeing if the scent changes and how long lasting it is. Avoid the paper since you won’t know how the fragrance will work on your skin.

Bottom Line….

Anyone hunting for a new fragrance should consider taking it down a notch. Most people are sensitive to scents and you don’t want the fragrance to enter the room before you do. As far as skincare and haircare, purchase “fragrance free” products. As you age your skin can become sensitive to fragrance and it can irritate your skin. Choose wisely with deodorant scents. It is your base smell and everything else should complement it. Lastly, try before you buy. Take your time with a purchase and see if the fragrance complements your natural scent.

How To Be The Hostess With The Mostest

No one is born a good host. Like being charming and being sociable you need tools to know how to be a good host. Don’t think that hosting is not in your blood if you have had a failed attempt. You can always start small with just close friends and see how it goes. Here are some guidelines for a smoother holiday party…..

Location….

Some homes are simply too far away or confusing to get to. It will enrage your guests when they keep getting lost to your remote cabin. Consider if your home is close enough in town or in a convenient location where people can park without getting towed.

Decorations and Lighting….

For the holidays you should have a home that is tastefully decorated. This can mean in your own style. However, things should have a flow and complement each other. It should not be haphazard. Lighting is crucial to setting the tone to be relaxing. You want your guests to be relaxed and soothed. No overhead lights allowed.

Furniture placement….

Create a living room, or screened-in porch, or kitchen area, etc, to have ample seating. In most social situations people are not stagnant. They will mingle from room to room. Some might want fresh air, and some might be in an in-depth conversation in the corner.

Have built-in entertainment….

You need a reason for people to come beyond chatting. The best parties have an activity or entertainment. Beer bong and flip cup can be fun and also karaoke or listening to a live band. You can have drinking games and play a fun mix of music to keep the energy up.

Specialty Drinks….

Come up with a speciality cocktail and mocktail version. Have beer and wine in the fridge as options as well. It is fun to come up with an overall cocktail that is seasonal. For large parties make it a cold cocktail and for small parties do a batch of mulled wine.

Food….

Think bite-sized and easy to grab and eat. It’s best to have trays out with food with toothpicks for easy pickup. Provide napkins. Avoid shrimp or anything that someone could be allergic to. Make sure to have vegan options.

To avoid a late night party….

If you are scared that people will wind up crashing on the couch, then present as a pre-game party. This can only work for people who live walking distance to bars or a quick Uber ride. It can be fun to plan around an event downtown and have a brief party where your guests can drop in. Make sure to communicate that to guests.

Dress code….

You can set the tone of how classy the party is. It all depends on your friends’ vibe. Some people would be thrilled to be able to dress to the nines. While others would rather have a silly ugly sweater party.

Bottom Line…..

The worst thing to happen to a party is not having a plan. You will feel more confident when you have some sort of entertainment for your guests. For people who feel they are good hosts, but do not have a hosting home then co-host with a friend. Sometimes having two hosts is easier and the party will run smoother. Make sure people can park and the location is easy to find. Consider who you are inviting and what type of party your friend group would enjoy. You can always take the pressure off and just host a pre-game party, then go downtown to an event or the bars after.