The best fashion season is upon on us and yea… I guess there will be football. For anyone who is a diehard-core-football fan, navigating the sports bars will be a breeze. However, not everyone has a fantasy league and can name every new college player. Make this a challenge to pause the apps and practice in-person interactions with potential mates. How can you have the home field advantage this football season?….
First of all, you know where the men are….
That’s step one. They are all at a sports bar or at the actual game. Most of in-person dating, if not all, is being at the right place at the right time.
Limit your group to 3 total….
Pick your wing ladies carefully ( I have an article on this). Your friend is probably not going to truly wingman it for you. If anything, she could block it. It is mainly that you are going to get noticed by men when you are in a small group.
Dress appropriately….
Not saying you need to be decked out in sports gear, but do dress a little on the sportier side. Still keep it cute and feminine and not like you are about to take the field. Think more cheerleader than player. Currently the tennis aesthetic is hot and you can draw inspiration from that.
Come before the game starts….
Before the men get sucked into the game and you become invisible, it’s not a bad strategy to pre-game and see who is around.
Resist being “one of the guys”….
Yes, you might be obsessed with sports and that’s great. Make sure you are not veering too hard into one-upsmanship. You don’t want to be his competition and make him feel like a loser. Also, cheering and screaming whenever there is a touchdown is very try hard, too.
Don’t be a hater either….
Negging him is not the way to go. He will think, “if she hates this so much why is she here?” You will not impress him by how stuck-up you are.
You don’t have to impress him….
Don’t fake that you love beer and are obsessed with watching football. Be authentic, however, still having fun. You might want to play pool or darts to keep yourself busy especially when you have no idea who is winning or losing.
Don’t be stuck in the same spot….
Unless your city only has one bar feel free to barhop a little. You want to be where the action is and have as many eyeballs on you as possible.
Bottom Line….
Plant yourself in the right energy this season. This is a lesson for all in-person first impressions. It is always best to be in a good mood and look cute. A guy who is attracted will approach you and you can at least meet new men. You don’t need to study up on sports or try to neg him about what player got drafted. (Unless sports gossip is a true interest, that is). Try to remain as authentic as you can be. This is also a time to connect with your single friends and build those memories.
For any couples who are meeting their partner’s family for the first time, you need a game plan. Your partner doesn’t know your cousin is deathly allergic to shrimp and that your father can’t stand the Yankees. This isn’t the time to test and see how they tread water. Have a serious discussion and rundown of how the holidays typically go. How can you let your family love your partner and set them up for success?…..
Make sure your relationship is serious enough….
There is no point in going though social torture for a casual “three -monther”. Best case, meeting family is a serious step.
Understand the overall vibe….
Every family has their own energy. Big politics talkers, pop culture nuts, sports fanatics, etc. You want to be up to speed with any news, celebrity or otherwise, when you know what topics will be brought up. Not to say they should get into political arguments. In fact, prevent that from happening. Communicate where your family is voting-wise and tell them to keep certain options to themselves. However, your partner cannot sit on the bench. He or she needs to participate regardless of what is being discussed.
Sleeping arrangements and rules….
Not your house, not your rules. Most parents have a “no sharing a room until married” policy. This includes practicing etiquette and being polite. Tell your partner to bring a gift and offer to help clean up. Rules and manners should be top of mind. Wake up times are also crucial to get right. Let them know if you are a turkey-trot family or the type that hits the snooze button.
How to dress….
For women talking to men, push them to dress up slightly. No need for a suit, but a nice button down or sweater will work. As a woman, hopefully it is not a shock that you need to dress more conservatively. This includes sleepwear and lounge wear to wear around the house. It is a good time to upgrade to a matching set with a high neck line.
Alcohol use….
Some families are big drinkers, some are sober. It would be stupid to bring a bottle of wine as a gift for non-drinkers. A good alternative to wine is to make cookies or bring a nice olive oil and vinegar set in pretty bottles. Even if the family drinks, they can’t treat it like a frat party.
Tell them to ask questions….
It is a good reminder to encourage your significant other to think of stock questions to ask. They are hopefully naturally curious, but might be shy and awkward. To ease their mind feed them a few lines and topics to get them started.
Bottom Line….
Set your partner up for success. Do not watch them drown and then conclude they aren’t your person. At least, give them a shot to win. No one wants to spend a holiday without their family. Be honest with yourself and understand if your family is a “hosting family” or not. There is nothing wrong with grabbing a nice lunch to meet the family versus a whole Thanksgiving or holiday weekend. Lastly, this shouldn’t be a whole test of the relationship. It isn’t fair to set your partner up for failure.
In the past there have been rules of when to decorate for certain holidays. Most people have been told to put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving or even December 1st. Once the pandemic started, I noticed the trend of skipping over Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. I actually read an article contending that people who do this are happier. Long story short, start the holidays when you see fit, here’s why….
People love sparkle….
Christmas decorations are all about sparkle, glitter, and shine. Humans love to look at shiny objects. It gives them a little hit of serotonin (not a doctor, but it gets my pulse going).
It encapsulates a lot of trends in one….
A Christmas cheer is exactly what a girl who romanticizes her life will do. She is probably in her “soft-life era.” This time of year encourages fuzzy blankets, hot tea, and curling up watching favorite shows in candlelight. You can pretend to be the main character in a Hallmark movie.
The holidays go by soooo fast….
The more time you get to have the decorations up, the better you feel. The holidays, especially post-Thanksgiving zoom by and frankly, you don’t have time after Black Friday to sit and sip your hot chocolate next to your tree.
You can decorate in your own color scheme and vibe….
Unlike other holidays you can showcase your own style within Christmas. If you only love silver and gold, great! You can also lean into arts and crafts style with Popsicle frame pics of family. I have even seen Christmas in a goth style.
You can still enjoy Thanksgiving….
We give fall our all. I don’t find it is skipped over. There is pumpkin spice and sweater weather, the leaves, etc. I do think the Halloween and Thanksgiving holidays get recognized.
Before you decorate….
Do a clean out and donate unused decorations. Obviously, keep anything sentimental and precious to you. But go though the lights that do not work and are tangled and decide overall what the vibe will be. Like I said, you can decorate with your own taste in mind. This might mean out with old, in with the new.
Get ahead of the stress part….
Start making a list for presents and purchase your Christmas cards. Decide what your budget is and how many gifts per person. Keep in mind that certain people would prefer a service IOU present which can be priceless. Don’t limit yourself to physical items.
Bottom Line….
Give yourself permission to decorate. Honestly, this generation (Millennial and Gen Z ) are already doing it regardless. There is time that needs to be spent on brainstorming on the vibe you want to capture. I love when a person has their own Christmas style that is unique to them and their home. This year spend more time in the Christmas spirit versus the frantic stress ball that can occur.
Halloween is a the perfect holiday to meet someone new. Being in disguise can break down some self-doubt and allow you to let loose. Men don’t normally have immense pressure to look sexy. The average Joe tends to lean into a funny costume or what I call “the mascot” costume where he is completely hidden. When you use your time wisely it can be a night to really maximize your social capacity. What are some tips for single men to stand out this season?….
Try on your costume before the night….
Make sure everything fits ok and is comfortable. Give yourself enough breathing time to replace something or scrap the idea for a better one.
Get noticed….
Costume choice matters. The worst move is only dipping your toe into a “costume.” I have seen men who wear a T-shirt that says, “this is my costume.” It might be a personal preference, but it gives me the ick when a guy half-way participates. This is one night to get creative and have some fun.
Have a game plan….
Bring in the wingmen for some assists. It’s best to get the crew together, maybe for a group costume if possible, and have a few hype men. Go barhopping and attend all the events to maximize meeting the most women.
Make sure your costume is practical….
Bathroom lines will be long, you need to be the backseat of an Uber, you need to be able to see, etc. It is best to show your face. Not saying a funny blow-up dinosaur costume isn’t funny. You will not connect with women when they cannot see your eyes and expressions.
It’s a numbers game….
Try not to get locked into one person. The mistake I see is when men laser focus on the first girl who speaks to them and holds her hostage for the night. Get into the flow of chatting, maybe getting contact info if the vibe feels right, and then keeping it moving. The reason is that this is a rare night when the homebodies are out and about. You will be meeting people you had no idea existed since they probably do not frequent the bars often.
Be safe….
I say this a lot, but it would be embarrassing to wind up in jail in a Halloween costume. Take Uber or walk to your destinations.
Pre-game….
Bonus points for being a host of the pre-game party. Only do this when you live close to downtown and it is on the way for people. This is also a great time to meet new women in a non- chaotic environment. For men who are not knowledgeable on how to host, this could be a learning opportunity. Just make sure to make the experience fun. You should provide drinks and a festive vibe. Put on a scary movie in the background, light candles, and have a goth playlist.
Have a budget…..
Anyone who gets a little too generous with buying people drinks should bring cash only. It will limit you to a certain dollar amount and you won’t get your credit card left or overspent. Also, when women know your tab is open, they can order drinks and you may get stuck with a higher bill than expected. When treating women to drinks, don’t get an expensive cocktail. In my city, we have half-shots that are inexpensive. If there are special cheap shots, then go with that. In general, offering a shot is better because it’s quick and easy while still appearing chivalrous.
“The walk of shame”….
Getting lucky can happen on Halloween. When you take a girl home, be kind and let her borrow or keep some clothing she can sleep in and go home in. Give her clothing you don’t care about losing, not expensive items. She wants to not be embarrassed the next morning and wants to not stand out when she makes her way home.
Bottom Line….
Singles on Halloween will be ready to mingle. Get noticed and do not hide yourself in a costume. Think practical in case you get lucky, and be safe so you don’t wind up with a mug shot of you dressed as a hot dog. Take charge and orchestrate your friends coming out and also host a pre-party to meet more women. Think in terms of getting numbers versus zeroing in on one girl. Have a budget and a plan overall, because in the witching hour things can get chaotic. Collect instagrams, not numbers. You will forget what the women look like and it’s good to have a visual reference. Finally, enjoy your night in a safe way and get into the spirit.
I start thinking of Halloween costumes in September. For me, it is a time to get creative and express myself in a way I cannot do on a daily basis. There have been years when I simply get “writers block” with a costume and other times when I hit it out of the park. When I brainstorm to make an impactful costume, the three ingredients are: #1 Instantly recognizable, #2 Funny or Creative, and #3 Sexy. In this article, I break down evergreen ideas and tips to spark some inspiration…
The Classics…
I think it’s almost better to be a classic because you just show up and enjoy your time. I would say the big classic costumes are : witch, devil, cat, angel, clown, vampire, skeleton, ghost, pumpkin , etc. It can always be modified to have a unique vision.
Mystical Costumes…
Halloween to me is a mystical holiday, so I like leaning into that. A few examples are: a tarot reader (fortune teller); a celebrity in the illuminati ( red dress with illuminati fake tattoo on the forehead); an alien; men in black; fairy; conspiracy theorist (tin foil hat)
Movie Characters…
This can be tricky and requires all the details to be there with no cutting corners. Meaning, you might need to spend more on the perfect wig, sunglasses, or other props. A few popular movie costumes are from: “Scream,” “Fight Club,” “Austin Powers,” “Scarface,” “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” “Blade.” Google a movie you like and see if someone has done a costume for it.
Makeup and Wigs…
There are many YouTube makeup tutorials out there to watch and learn, although it is fun to experiment for yourself and see what works. Most stores have makeup just for Halloween, which could be cheap eyeshadow palettes and body glitter. You don’t have to be a professional makeup artist, but give yourself enough time to mess up and redo it. Wigs can be expensive. I have noticed there are some good realistic wigs on Amazon. I got my wig (unopened) at a thrift store, so it was slightly cheaper than at a Halloween store. I actually went to Target the other day and noticed the basic wigs are slightly cheaper there as well.
Easy Last-Minute Costumes…
Sometimes we just can’t get it together. There also might be a situation where you are expected to go to multiple parties. In this case, you need to think simple, yet effective. One of my favorites is to be a jewelry thief. You will just need a black cat suit and eye mask with big fake costume jewelry. Your purse could be a pouch with the money symbol. Y2K is also big right now. You could be a trashy celebrity from that time — just, please, do not actually pluck your eyebrows.
What costumes you shouldn’t wear…
Cultural appropriation is a big no-no in Halloween. It does not matter what your intent was or wasn’t… just avoid it. It is not worth it in the long run. Someone could dig up an old photo of you and bad things could happen. Any costume that is another culture’s native dress should be avoided.
Time-period costumes…
When I see costumes of clothing I wore in middle school it makes me laugh. Stepping back in time can bring up fun nostalgia. You could be a 1920s flapper or 1950s housewife, a hippy, or an 80s hair-metal rocker. You could even go way back in time and be a medieval king, queen, jester, or pirate.
Purses and Jackets…
This can be tricky since you need a place to hold your money and you might get cold. Some places do have coat checks and that’s great, but most do not. A jacket and purse can take away from a costume. You also want to be hands-free to dance and move around. I love a simple belt bag that blends with your costume. Or have the purse be part of the costume. As far as coats and jackets, consider what climate you live in and if you can incorporate the coat into the costume. If not, you will be probably sweaty and hot from dancing so a jacket may not be necessary anyway.
Celebrity and pop culture…
I see more couples dressing up as celebrity couples. The thing to keep in mind is: does the celebrity couple have a recognizable look? ( A great example is Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wearing the iconic all-denim outfit). For a solo celebrity, do you already resemble the famous person? I remember when comedian Trevor Noah dressed as the musician “The Weeknd” and people lost their minds. Certain looks and outfits are firmly planted in the cultural lexicon and those looks should be used, not a meme from six years ago.
Occupation costumes….
There are a lot of occupation costumes you can pick from. In these instances, there needs to be a twist as a zombie or very sexy. This is the time for visual puns and a “wink and a nod” ideas. The occupations that are mostly used are police, nurse, chef, nun or priest.
Group or couple costumes…
I love when families tell a story though costumes. For example, the family could be dressed as The Addams Family, and a couples costume could be a pirate and a parrot.
Ease of wear and sustainability…
I do not like wearing a costume that comes in a bag. I understand in certain instances you have to do it. Try your best to shop your closet first and see what you can pull out. Next would be thrifting a costume. It is important to be practical. Bathroom lines will be long and you will be standing and dancing all night. Take into consideration being comfortable and safe. Six-inch heels might not work for someone who never wears them.
Sports….
This sort of goes with the occupation costumes. You need a twist on it to make it more scary or sexy. You can’t just walk around with a basketball jersey. A better option is to be a USA Olympian with a leotard with USA across it. A cheerleader is another great one that everyone will get immediately.
Another Holiday or Event Costume…
One year, this guy dressed as a Salvation Army bell ringer with a Santa hat. It got me thinking about other holidays you could dress up as, such as a New Year’s Eve partiers or a New Year’s Eve baby. As far as events, any sort of wedding event is recognizable and it’s easy to do a twist on it (slasher or zombie bride).
Have a pre- going-out photo shoot…
Nothing worse than not getting one pic of your costume while out. In a party and downtown, things are chaotic and everyone is moving though the crowd, and the lighting is bad. It’s great to orchestrate a ”getting ready” party with a photo booth. Hang a piece of fabric, cool patterned sheets, or tape some wrapping paper to a blank wall. Grab a bendy desk lamp to create dramatic lighting. Position the lamp or multiple lamps to get a cool lighting effect. Or you can have a beauty light to attach to a phone and people can take selfies.
Bottom Line….
Halloween costumes are a great way to express your creativity. Some years you are buzzing with ideas, and some require looking though Pinterest boards for inspiration. I try to avoid anything that is the hot costume of the year. I just don’t want to compete with 20 other girls dressed as the same thing. Not to say being a classic is bad. There might be a handful of witches or angels. However, you can always do your own twist and make it your own. As far as group or couple costumes, it is best to tell a story. Goes without saying to never dress in another culture’s dress. No matter how you feel or that it’s not fair, in the long run it is not worth it. Lastly, remember to combine the three important rules to all costumes: recognizability, creativity / funny, and sexy.
Just found out what a “boo box” is through social media. Basically, it is a seasonal care package consisting of food, coffee, candles and all things cozy. This is a super-cute idea, however, it’s wise to pick and choose whom you treat. A woman wanting to be in her feminine energy should not be gifting and impressing, even though this is in her nature to do when she wants the person she is dating to feel loved. Birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day gifts should be proceeded with caution. Having said that, what should be in the boo box and in what situation should it be gifted?…..
Shopping Ideas….
The best gifts are handmade and something that feels too nice to give themselves. This is a celebration of fall, think cozy with seasonal flavors. The most obvious is to make your own pumpkin spice. This is a given and seems more gourmet when it is created by you. You can google the recipe and put it in a glass container with a fancy label. Then you need to consider that we are going into “cozy” season, and any sort of comfort and luxe will be appreciated. Cashmere socks give more of a sophistication rather than fuzzy sucks with a pumpkin (although that is very cute). Then you could carry on the clothing route with a nice robe or loungewear set. Next is seasonal coffee or tea. The loose-leaf option is a more high end presentation. With coffee, you could include a milk frother for those speciality pumpkin lattes. To top everything off, include a woodwick candle. The woodwick causes that ASMR crackling-fire noise for instant relaxation. I would go with a plain and clean design that could be reused.
Who Should Not Receive The Boo Box?…..
Anyone you are casually dating or in a gray area. I even think a boyfriend could be too high risk. It sends the message that you are trying to impress and buy their love in some way. A long- distance relationship might be the most logical. It is a care package and it seems like the right situation. Although take into consideration how serious this long-distance relationship is. It is better if it is temporary, you are engaged, and there is a wedding date. It is better to give wifey treatment to a future husband, not a man who sporadically texts.
Treat Yourself To The Boo Box….
For anyone who loves fall, this is a great excuse to make a trip to Home Goods and treat yourself to some fall delights. As far as blankets, robes, and loungewear, go for quality, not cheap polyester. It will last longer and look more sophisticated. However, it’s totally your call. No shame in leaning into fuzzy skeleton pants.
Have A Cozy Night With Friends….
You could have a bonfire night or stay inside and watch some scary movies. There are streaming services that do 31-days-of-Halloween. You can also gift your friends with homemade bread or seasonal desserts.
Should You Expect To Be Treated To The Boo Box?….
I only just discovered this a few days ago and I doubt everyone knows about it. Any woman whose love language is receiving gifts should probably be hinting about it. There are certain boyfriends who show their love though gifts and some that do not. Although it does not have to be as elaborate as I said. This is probably a great new tradition that committed couples will adopt.
Bottom Line…..
The Boo Box can be a great way to set off the fall season. For singles, I suggest you treat yourself to one. You now have an excuse to upgrade your loungewear. For couples, it depends on how committed you are. In my experience, it is always regretful to go above and beyond for a man who doesn’t even want you as his girlfriend. The wifey treatment should be reserved for a man who is all in. Either way, get cozy, stay in more, and share some chilly nights with friends and family.
Mostly Casual 