With the film “Baby Girl” coming out on Christmas Day I wanted to talk about the juxtaposition of holidays movies catered to adults. Christmas, like most holidays, is centered around children and families. It seems more taboo to embrace sexuality and kink. As young children the feeling and excitement of Christmas comes mainly from receiving presents without the burden of returning the favor. As adults trying to capture the excitement and anticipation, one of the ways we can do this is through sex. How can you spice up your holiday season with a situationship or partner? Here are some suggestions….
Have a sexy Holiday movie night….
There are a lot of unofficial Christmas movies such as “Die Hard” or “Gremlins”. However, they do not create a sensual vibe. If that’s what you’re looking for, there are plenty of lists online to google, but a few stand outs are “Eyes Wide Shut” and “Reindeer Games”. My personal choice is the movie “Go” which takes place during the Christmas season.
Go out to dinner and order oysters and champagne….
It’s a cliche, but there are food items that are more luxe and sophisticated rather than cookies or fruit cake. Dress up and go to an upscale spot that has a Christmas decor atmosphere before Christmas.
Model lingerie….
Surprise your partner with a red lingerie set and a Santa hat. Keep it playful and fun. Bonus points for festive dirty talk and role play!
Light candles….
Set the mood for the season by eating by candle light or go to a bar or restaurant that has a fire place and dim lightning. If your home has a fire place then light the fire and turn on the Christmas tree.
Hang mistletoe in a doorway….
It’s a cute reminder to kiss whenever you enter a home or bedroom.
Sing, play music, or create a playlist….
Great for music lovers. I recommend a blue tooth karaoke mic and singing on your phone in Youtube. For true musicians you can play music on piano or guitar. Or you can use Spotify or Apple Music to create a personal Christmas playlist. (For example Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me”). Go beyond carols and stick to original Christmas albums.
Tie each other up using Christmas lights….
Is it silly? yes. However it can be memorable and a great sexy photo shoot idea.
Bottom Line….
Spice it up this season with your situationship or committed partner. You can create new holiday traditions that center around you as a couple versus obligations to family. All the suggestions are not to be taken seriously and can be modified for your liking. It’s good to think outside the wrapped Christmas box. Above all, remember to have some fun and de stress!
There are people who are impossible to shop for. It can get frustrating because they have everything and when they have a desire to have something it will be purchased. This is the time to think outside the box and try to be sustainable if possible. I always like to give people a useful gift that can be used all year long. What are some gift ideas for anyone you aren’t super close to or a hard to shop for person?….
Think outside a physical gift….
This is my first instinct for this type of person. Most people will not take a random class or feel that a certain streaming service is a little too indulgent. For an older person a technology favor could really help them out. Such as organizing their desktop or to help block scammers on their computer and phone. Movie passes to an indie cinema, concert tickets, sports tickets etc are also an option.
Go personal…
Anyone who is artsy or has a fun hobby this is the time to shine. Anything handmade or designed by you adds a special touch. You can easily set up a red bubble or similar site and add your art. A cute tote bag or tee shirt with your design can be a great gift.
Plants….
A plant can be a great gift for most people. You can help breathe some air into a space with an easy to care for plant. Create a starter herb garden with small plants that can be used indoors next to a kitchen window. They also make indoor herb kits with lights. Another option is fun and artsy plant holders. You can paint a plain one, thrift, or find one at a holiday market.
The mixologist….
Set up your friend’s home bar. Get them started with some bitters, shaker, a simple cart etc. The entertainer loves to have a fancy decanters to show off to guests. For non drinkers help stock a coffee or tea bar.
Sheets and pillowcases….
Nice sheets only get softer with each wash. A silk pillowcase is very helpful for anyone who doesn’t want to wake up with bed head. It’s great to give everyday luxury that they can use all year. A cozy large throw blanket can be a good idea as well.
Food gifts….
Make gourmet bread or sweets for people. This is great for relatives you don’t know that well and you are mailing them items. There are companies that offer food packages as well. Keep food simple and double check dietary needs.
Cashmere scarf….
No one would dislike a quality scarf or hat. Keep the color neutral, black is probably the safest bet. A sweater might be too expensive for most, so something smaller (socks) might be better for your budget.
Gift cards…
With gift cards I try to go local. This could be to a local day spa, restaurant, or book store. It seems more thought out than an amazon gift card.
Art…
This is great for people who have blank walls and need an art curator. Go to the flea markets, thrift stores, or local art markets. If you know your friend or family member’s taste this can be great to help them decorate. Also you can go to Etsy or other sites for downloadable art then thrift a nice frame.
Bottom Line….
These are examples of crowd pleaser gifts. It is great to go personal whenever possible however, sometimes you need to give gifts to people you are not as close to such as a co -worker or family member. I enjoy a non physical gift or favor that could really help out someone. Try to shop small, second hand, and buy a gift card from a local business. It will help out the local economy and give money back to the community.
I personally do not have Spotify, but I love the concept of having the data of what mood and vibe you were in for the year. Most of us probably didn’t calculate our dating data, or even what were the total of first dates that led to second dates. But, hey, maybe we should pay more attention. Regardless, it’s time to think how we felt about 2023 as a whole. This is advice I gathered for this year and what to work towards for a more enjoyable dating experience. How can you reflect and start the new year on the right foot?….
Your year as a whole….
Maybe dating took a back seat, but you got a nice promotion at work. It is best to be proud of other accomplishments and see the whole picture. You could have met a few more friends or gotten closer to family. Give yourself credit for those things.
What was your worst date and what was your best date?…..
Reflect on both extremes and pick apart the reason it went sour. In contrast, think about why a date went right. Go through length of the date, type of date, location, what you were wearing, if you had a pre-date, etc. You can notice patterns that could have caused it to go well or flop.
How many dating-app dates versus real life?….
Yes, dating-app dates are easy and convenient. But they are probably not the quality dates you want. You could say you went on 100 app dates this year, but they probably only resulted in a first date. Stop being scared of dating mixers or speed dating. ( I do prefer a mixer versus speed dating since it isn’t forced). It can be a great opportunity to meet multiple men in person.
Were all your dates coffee dates?….
If you want a job interview environment, you got it. The atmosphere does not foster a romantic connection. I understand you probably want a sober date versus a bar. You have to think of environment and lighting first. You can choose how many drinks you drink or how long you stay. Find a romantic ornate tea shop and go there for a sober date versus a Starbucks. It’s all about an atmosphere that will encourage you to relax and connect.
Do you need that revenge body?….
The better you look, the better the choices and the better you will be treated. Is that fair? No. It’s just how dating works. Invest in yourself and take care of your physical appearance. Get your hair done, buy a new outfit, join a gym, get your makeup done professionally. There is zero downside to looking more attractive.
Should you be more choosy?….
This is the time to trust your intuition. Give yourself enough time to get to know someone before you go on a date. The “ick” can creep on you sooner than you expect. It’s best to feel things out before you dive in. Quality over quantity. It’s ok to go on fewer dates.
Bottom Line….
This year for me was not so great for dating, but good for other aspects of life. Dating is not the be-all and end-all and you should try to become more well-rounded. Try your best to think outside of the dating apps. If you haven’t tried to involve your friends or gone to a mixer, then give it a whirl. Be more choosy of whom you give your time to. It’s ok to go on a date once a month instead of once a week. If you want more options, then work on your physical appearance. It will open more doors in all aspects of your life. Most importantly, it’s best to repeat what really was working and bringing you joy this year.
Scent is the most popular Christmas gift for couples. This time of year it’s normal to peruse a Macy’s, hoping someone will give you a gift set. A perfect fragrance can be a signature for you and a core memory for whomever you date. However, when a scent is wrong, then it’s a disaster. When a man calls your perfume “cologne,” you know you messed up. How can you take a delicate approach to fragrance?….
Consider your base scent….
All your scents need to be in harmony. Make sure your deodorant isn’t running the show in a bad way. It is best to pick a scent you like best since it will be worn daily. Go with something subtle that will still keep you fresh.
Avoid musk….
When you see the word “musk” I personally would avoid it. It can work on certain people but frankly most men do not like it.
Go clean….
There are great subtle scents that are marked as “shower fresh,” “clean,” “water,” “cool.” Those types complement your soap and will be more pleasant.
Go flirty….
Keep in mind this is date night, so it’s needs an extra push. This doesn’t mean go bold; it should be a girly / sweet fragrance. Overall, it should NOT be overpowering, dark, moody, etc.
Beware of the “sexy” fragrance….
When in doubt go subtle. A great date fragrance is airy and light. You should apply it very lightly so it is not overpowering. Most “sexy” scents are very strong and loud. It is best to not get caught up in marketing. You don’t want to give your date a migraine.
Try before you buy….
It is always best to try on perfume and see if it meshes with your natural scent. Wait about 30 minutes and keep smelling it. You are seeing if the scent changes and how long lasting it is. Avoid the paper since you won’t know how the fragrance will work on your skin.
Bottom Line….
Anyone hunting for a new fragrance should consider taking it down a notch. Most people are sensitive to scents and you don’t want the fragrance to enter the room before you do. As far as skincare and haircare, purchase “fragrance free” products. As you age your skin can become sensitive to fragrance and it can irritate your skin. Choose wisely with deodorant scents. It is your base smell and everything else should complement it. Lastly, try before you buy. Take your time with a purchase and see if the fragrance complements your natural scent.
No one is born a good host. Like being charming and being sociable you need tools to know how to be a good host. Don’t think that hosting is not in your blood if you have had a failed attempt. You can always start small with just close friends and see how it goes. Here are some guidelines for a smoother holiday party…..
Location….
Some homes are simply too far away or confusing to get to. It will enrage your guests when they keep getting lost to your remote cabin. Consider if your home is close enough in town or in a convenient location where people can park without getting towed.
Decorations and Lighting….
For the holidays you should have a home that is tastefully decorated. This can mean in your own style. However, things should have a flow and complement each other. It should not be haphazard. Lighting is crucial to setting the tone to be relaxing. You want your guests to be relaxed and soothed. No overhead lights allowed.
Furniture placement….
Create a living room, or screened-in porch, or kitchen area, etc, to have ample seating. In most social situations people are not stagnant. They will mingle from room to room. Some might want fresh air, and some might be in an in-depth conversation in the corner.
Have built-in entertainment….
You need a reason for people to come beyond chatting. The best parties have an activity or entertainment. Beer bong and flip cup can be fun and also karaoke or listening to a live band. You can have drinking games and play a fun mix of music to keep the energy up.
Specialty Drinks….
Come up with a speciality cocktail and mocktail version. Have beer and wine in the fridge as options as well. It is fun to come up with an overall cocktail that is seasonal. For large parties make it a cold cocktail and for small parties do a batch of mulled wine.
Food….
Think bite-sized and easy to grab and eat. It’s best to have trays out with food with toothpicks for easy pickup. Provide napkins. Avoid shrimp or anything that someone could be allergic to. Make sure to have vegan options.
To avoid a late night party….
If you are scared that people will wind up crashing on the couch, then present as a pre-game party. This can only work for people who live walking distance to bars or a quick Uber ride. It can be fun to plan around an event downtown and have a brief party where your guests can drop in. Make sure to communicate that to guests.
Dress code….
You can set the tone of how classy the party is. It all depends on your friends’ vibe. Some people would be thrilled to be able to dress to the nines. While others would rather have a silly ugly sweater party.
Bottom Line…..
The worst thing to happen to a party is not having a plan. You will feel more confident when you have some sort of entertainment for your guests. For people who feel they are good hosts, but do not have a hosting home then co-host with a friend. Sometimes having two hosts is easier and the party will run smoother. Make sure people can park and the location is easy to find. Consider who you are inviting and what type of party your friend group would enjoy. You can always take the pressure off and just host a pre-game party, then go downtown to an event or the bars after.
I find it can be fun to have a few presents to open. However, I am a big advocate for a service gift. Christmas is the end of the year and many people are in a slump and need an extra push. What is your expertise? Everyone has skills that could be put to good use. Think of their lifestyle and what they are lacking. A small act of service might help them get to the next level. I want to stress that you are not becoming someone’s personal assistant for a year. Think of the gift as you being a consultant and don’t let it take up more than an afternoon of your time. Regardless, it is perfect for minimalists and anyone needing a specific favor….
Spa day….
Most people shy away from treating themselves to a facial, massage, or pedicure. To them it might seem too indulgent to book themselves. Snag a certificate from a great salon or spa.
Create your own bath and shower products….
There are tutorials on how to make bath / shower bombs. I personally love making salt body scrubs ( I use a black salt or anything upscale and gourmet). A sugar scrub to exfoliate lips in the winter months is a must have. Add them into clear mason jars scented or unscented. If you are skilled at knitting, you can create homemade washcloths. It’s fun to present them in a cute package.
Closet clean out….
There are types of people who just need permission to donate clothing. They might not have a clue what looks good or what is dated. It can be a lifesaver to someone who feels overwhelmed by their wardrobe.
Personal Shopper….
Anyone who wants to change up their style could use a stylist. Go shopping with them and say yay or nay to items while giving them ideas on what is going to be the most flattering colors, silhouette, and trends.
Clothing tailor….
For anyone who can work a sewing machine, you can tailor a clothing item on its last legs and bring it back to life. They might have a shirt or dress that no longer fits, but they love. Turn the fabric into a great throw pillow or transform it into another type of garment. You can also sew silk pillowcases and silk eye-sleep masks.
Interior Design Consultant….
Not saying to redo their home, so don’t panic. Give your two cents to someone who has been wanting to decorate for a while. Help them with a mood board, and research paint colors, decor styles, etc. For anyone who is knowledgeable in feng shui, suggest where certain furniture pieces can go to maximize the flow.
Spiritual Gifts….
This is kinda an LA gift or anyone who loves the woo woo. Book them a tarot reading appointment, aura cleanse, or reiki healing session.
Car wash and buff….
Take your loved one’s car to the car wash. It is a slept-on gift and cars tend to get neglected, especially in the busy season.
Maid Service….
There are certain packages you can buy from cleaning companies. Sign them up for a monthly, biweekly, or weekly clean up depending on your budget. Be very choosy on who you give this to. It could come off as insulting to some. If they are a new mother who does not have time, then this might fit the bill.
Baked goods and gourmet bites….
This is for the cooks and bakers. Everyone loves a fancy homemade treat. Cater it to their dietary needs such as gluten-free, vegan, ethnic, etc. It doesn’t have to be sweet, you can give savory bite-sized appetizers as well.
Help them with their resume….
For anyone on the job hunt, it can get overwhelming. Having a solid resume in the perfect format can make or break if you get an interview. Help make sure they have a great pic on LinkedIn and that their skills are being highlighted. A big leg up could be to help them network.
Become their matchmaker….
Most people are dying to be set up. Think of great guys in your social circle that you can introduce them to. Research speed-dating or mixers in their town and purchase a ticket for them.
Be their image consultant for the dating apps….
Help them pick great photos or take some new photos for them. Ghostwrite their prompts and give a few opening lines to get them started. Overall, make sure they are coming off classy and with a personality.
Event coordinator….
This is for the social butterfly in the know of restaurant openings and parties. Many people want to go to more events but have no clue where to start. Create an event calendar for concerts, comedy shows, karaoke and send them alerts for the holiday season.
Movie and TV buff….
Certain cinemas offer passes or memberships. For those who prefer to sit on the couch, pay for a niche streaming service they would be excited about. Britbox and Criterion are great options.
Sign them up for a class….
It could be cooking, cocktail making, or a fun art class. They will learn a new skill and meet more people.
Be an Apple Genius….
This would be a great gift for older relatives. Set them up with great apps and help declutter their desktop. Simplify their iPhone or laptop so it is more user friendly. Most people are not knowledgeable about certain features of the phone or computer.
Set up cyber and home security….
Again, great gift for people who aren’t up to speed with technology. Some people do not want an Alexa barking orders, so keep that in mind. However, you could install a safer doorknob that requires a code, as an example. Purchase air tags for their luggage and car if they travel or are someone who manages to lose their keys and wallet a lot.
Bottom Line….
Before you do anything think about your skill set. Anyone is capable of at least hiring a service for a loved one. Keep in mind you will probably still need a few gifts to open under the tree. It is best to plan the budget and figure how many people will be receiving a present. Save the service gifts for family and friends who you are very close to. Set your loved ones up for success for the upcoming year. You will make a larger impact than you think.
In the past there have been rules of when to decorate for certain holidays. Most people have been told to put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving or even December 1st. Once the pandemic started, I noticed the trend of skipping over Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. I actually read an article contending that people who do this are happier. Long story short, start the holidays when you see fit, here’s why….
People love sparkle….
Christmas decorations are all about sparkle, glitter, and shine. Humans love to look at shiny objects. It gives them a little hit of serotonin (not a doctor, but it gets my pulse going).
It encapsulates a lot of trends in one….
A Christmas cheer is exactly what a girl who romanticizes her life will do. She is probably in her “soft-life era.” This time of year encourages fuzzy blankets, hot tea, and curling up watching favorite shows in candlelight. You can pretend to be the main character in a Hallmark movie.
The holidays go by soooo fast….
The more time you get to have the decorations up, the better you feel. The holidays, especially post-Thanksgiving zoom by and frankly, you don’t have time after Black Friday to sit and sip your hot chocolate next to your tree.
You can decorate in your own color scheme and vibe….
Unlike other holidays you can showcase your own style within Christmas. If you only love silver and gold, great! You can also lean into arts and crafts style with Popsicle frame pics of family. I have even seen Christmas in a goth style.
You can still enjoy Thanksgiving….
We give fall our all. I don’t find it is skipped over. There is pumpkin spice and sweater weather, the leaves, etc. I do think the Halloween and Thanksgiving holidays get recognized.
Before you decorate….
Do a clean out and donate unused decorations. Obviously, keep anything sentimental and precious to you. But go though the lights that do not work and are tangled and decide overall what the vibe will be. Like I said, you can decorate with your own taste in mind. This might mean out with old, in with the new.
Get ahead of the stress part….
Start making a list for presents and purchase your Christmas cards. Decide what your budget is and how many gifts per person. Keep in mind that certain people would prefer a service IOU present which can be priceless. Don’t limit yourself to physical items.
Bottom Line….
Give yourself permission to decorate. Honestly, this generation (Millennial and Gen Z ) are already doing it regardless. There is time that needs to be spent on brainstorming on the vibe you want to capture. I love when a person has their own Christmas style that is unique to them and their home. This year spend more time in the Christmas spirit versus the frantic stress ball that can occur.
We have had a rough couple years, however, I do feel it was a great awakening on who and what is important. It shook up people to rethink what really matters and maybe to adopt new holiday traditions for themselves. During the pandemic a lot of things were impossible to do which welcomed a shift in new traditions. What are some Christmas hacks that will save you time and money?…..
1. Use online shopping as much as you can….
Amazon and other sites can be a great resource to use. You can order presents, send them to yourself, then wrap them. Another option is to order food packages for long-distance family. (Our family loves to send speciality jams, desserts, charcuterie items). Skip the long lines and getting slammed with shopping carts and just push a button instead. If you have the budget, then consider shopping local or on Etsy. Support a small business as much as you can.
2. Go to the Dollar Tree…..
For any sort of wrapping material or snacks for the Christmas stockings, head to the Dollar Tree. They have a great selection of seasonal candy, like peppermint bark and peanut brittle. You can stock up on cards, gift tissue, Christmas gift bags, wrapping paper, etc.
3. Don’t be ashamed of using Christmas gift bags….
Look, I wouldn’t say I am perfect at wrapping presents. I feel it comes out pretty wonky more times than not. There is no shame in buying just bags and tissue. Remember that wrapped packages may look pretty under the tree, but they will be ripped opened and thrown away. So, it’s best long-term to use a bag that you can reuse instead of wrapping paper that can only be used once. You can also use the newspaper comic section to wrap presents. It gives a retro feel to it and you can throw on a ribbon to make it more festive.
4. Make an edible gift…..
No one would be mad at receiving a fresh batch of cookies. If you love baking, then make that your gift to people. There are so many Christmas cookie recipes out there. They sell Christmas cookie bags and containers at the Dollar Tree as well.
5. Do a service gift…..
Think of your expertise that can actually help someone. You might be extremely organized and can make up a handy planner for someone. Or you can help someone clean out a closet or kitchen. Another idea is to take their car to the car wash for them and get it really cleaned and buffed inside and out. Think about giving back to the community with a coat drive or food drive. It is the season of giving back, so it will feel good to help another person in need.
6. Think about an easy DIY tree….
For those who have no room for a real tree, I have seen people on Instagram shape a wall tree out of garlands or even Christmas tree lights. (Great option for mischievous cats who tend to attack trees). You can also buy miniature trees that can be in fun colors. I love a theme tree that has cute ornaments, like a cocktail theme tree or food. There are so many ornaments at Target and online. If you are crafty, you can make your own ornaments.
7. Create your own traditions…..
Bend the rules of the holiday and do things you truly enjoy. You don’t have to have the same food every year or watch the same movie. In fact, there are a lot of unofficial Christmas movies that are a lot of fun. Encourage your family to switch it up and to try new things. Drive around looking at Christmas lights, or walk around a neighborhood with a thermos.
8. Send out your Christmas cards early…..
Get them done sooner than later. Get yourself prepared and get all the address and stamps in order. Allow yourself time to leave a personal note to each person and wish them a happy new year.
9. Decorate before December if you want…..
I noticed in the pandemic people could spend more time at home and used that time to decorate. I have no gripes about decorating early. If you are the type to throw up the Christmas tree before December then go for it. Make your home cozy and festive for you!
10. Be selective about what parties you attend….
You will probably be invited to a lot of holiday parties. Do not stretch yourself thin and walk around with a constant champagne hangover. Really narrow down parties that you are more than happy to go to and allow yourself to rest. You can be run ragged and asked to do so many favors for people. Only do things if you have the time and energy and truly want to do it. You will resent people for overstepping and be annoyed you got guilted into doing things. Be polite, but decline if you are not up for it.
Bottom Line…..
Yes, the pandemic was challenging, however it is good to shake up the system and form new holiday traditions and standards. Stress and guilt can override the joyous season when you are constantly doing favors and spending all your hard-earned money. Do try to give back and donate to people in need. When you see a coat drive or food drive, then participate in it. Do not let the anti-Christmas people make you feel bad for decorating early or feeling joyful. There are going to be people who show their discontent around this time because they are unhappy in general. Your mindset needs to be in the right place because it is easy to be overwhelmed and taken advantage of. Go with the easy and cheaper option first and stay within your budget. Lastly, stay in the moment, look at the lights, and soak it in.
Mostly Casual 