A True Sustainable Closet

My relationship with thrifting and consumerism has changed as of late. This is probably because I am in the planning stages of moving out of my place where I have lived for seven years. In the recent past, I have had a somewhat strict policy of “one in, one out.” But the reality is I would do a monthly closet clean out, then replace with a bag full of new thrift finds. To me that is sort of missing the point of trying to be sustainable and to use what is already there. How can you be a more mindful shopper, and what are some things to chew on when it comes to the fashion landscape in general?….

Shop your closet….

This is step one. Look at your closet and think outside the box of how to style the clothes. Try things on and make sure things are your true size. If items don’t fit consider a clothing swap with friends or go to your community and try to organize one. It’s fine to donate things, but not for the intent of replacing.

Are your clothes for fashion or function?….

I just found a chunky knit infinity scarf in the back of my closet. Any fashion person would say, “oh an infinity scarf that’s so cheugy!” However, it serves a function meaning you don’t have to constantly flip the scarf or have it accidentally dangle in a toilet. This is just an example, but you should be thinking is this accessory or clothing item practical versus is it out of style?

Learn how to style your clothes you currently own….

I know you have enough clothing. Maybe you need to tuck a shirt, throw on a belt, wear a long sleeve shirt under a summer dress, etc. I keep learning how to style my clothes from trial and error and also saving styling videos on Instagram.

Sell your good clothes that you can get a profit from….

You might have been gifted expensive fashion items that are not your taste. It’s a great idea to start a Posh-mark and sell these types of clothing.

Alter your clothes….

I have become obsessed with dying my clothing. Once you do it you will become addicted. It is a great way to make your clothing flatter your personal color palette ( winter, warm spring, summer etc.), or to just change up a boring shirt. I also crop my shirts and the bottoms of jeans that are too long on me. The best shirts or pants that look great cropped is denim. It creates a beautiful frayed look that I love. For those who know how to work a sewing machine tailor your own clothes. You can take it a step further for advanced sewers by designing your own outfits or even starting a side hustle. Or go to your local tailor. They can help make a cheap thrifted jacket or pants into a custom fit.

Don’t make shopping a routine….

This can get tricky with some people, since shopping can be social, and it’s just a fun activity to do with family members or friends. You naturally will be influenced by who you are with and how much they eat or spend . It’s importantly to communicate with your shopping buddy that you are doing a “no spend month” just to see how that goes. You will naturally find another way to be social and spend time together.

Stop obsessing about micro trends…

Look, no one is immune from trends. There will always be influence to what you decide to put on. However, there are extreme pendulum trends where you go from maximalism to bare minimalism. You need to recognize that being in the middle and within your own taste is where you need to remain. Always recognize when an extreme is happening and resist the urge to burn down your closet and start fresh. It’s what they want you to do.

The “classics” are a lie…

Instead of “buying the classics,” which is a sneaky way of getting you to buy an expensive item, go with what is flattering to you or just something that you love. The classics always change, even if at a slower rate. Wear what speaks to you on a personal level.

Bottom Line….

When people read an article about cleaning out a closet, they gasp and panic about all of their special items being thrown in the trash. That is not the case here. Instead the message is to actually wear your items that you already own. And alter clothing that you want to tweak. It will breathe a new life into a garment and make you wear it more. It is also important to educate yourself about how to style your clothes. Watch stylists on social media or to read styling books. You can also use mood boards on Pinterest to help shape your taste and how it could be worn. I promise you have enough clothes to style an outfit. Consider a clothing swap and sell your designer items with Posh-mark. Lastly, resist the loop of closet clean out to filling the gap with more thrifted clothes.

Crowd Pleaser Holiday Gifts

There are people who are impossible to shop for. It can get frustrating because they have everything and when they have a desire to have something it will be purchased. This is the time to think outside the box and try to be sustainable if possible. I always like to give people a useful gift that can be used all year long. What are some gift ideas for anyone you aren’t super close to or a hard to shop for person?….

Think outside a physical gift….

This is my first instinct for this type of person. Most people will not take a random class or feel that a certain streaming service is a little too indulgent. For an older person a technology favor could really help them out. Such as organizing their desktop or to help block scammers on their computer and phone. Movie passes to an indie cinema, concert tickets, sports tickets etc are also an option.

Go personal…

Anyone who is artsy or has a fun hobby this is the time to shine. Anything handmade or designed by you adds a special touch. You can easily set up a red bubble or similar site and add your art. A cute tote bag or tee shirt with your design can be a great gift.

Plants….

A plant can be a great gift for most people. You can help breathe some air into a space with an easy to care for plant. Create a starter herb garden with small plants that can be used indoors next to a kitchen window. They also make indoor herb kits with lights. Another option is fun and artsy plant holders. You can paint a plain one, thrift, or find one at a holiday market.

The mixologist….

Set up your friend’s home bar. Get them started with some bitters, shaker, a simple cart etc. The entertainer loves to have a fancy decanters to show off to guests. For non drinkers help stock a coffee or tea bar.

Sheets and pillowcases….

Nice sheets only get softer with each wash. A silk pillowcase is very helpful for anyone who doesn’t want to wake up with bed head. It’s great to give everyday luxury that they can use all year. A cozy large throw blanket can be a good idea as well.

Food gifts….

Make gourmet bread or sweets for people. This is great for relatives you don’t know that well and you are mailing them items. There are companies that offer food packages as well. Keep food simple and double check dietary needs.

Cashmere scarf….

No one would dislike a quality scarf or hat. Keep the color neutral, black is probably the safest bet. A sweater might be too expensive for most, so something smaller (socks) might be better for your budget.

Gift cards…

With gift cards I try to go local. This could be to a local day spa, restaurant, or book store. It seems more thought out than an amazon gift card.

Art…

This is great for people who have blank walls and need an art curator. Go to the flea markets, thrift stores, or local art markets. If you know your friend or family member’s taste this can be great to help them decorate. Also you can go to Etsy or other sites for downloadable art then thrift a nice frame.

Bottom Line….

These are examples of crowd pleaser gifts. It is great to go personal whenever possible however, sometimes you need to give gifts to people you are not as close to such as a co -worker or family member. I enjoy a non physical gift or favor that could really help out someone. Try to shop small, second hand, and buy a gift card from a local business. It will help out the local economy and give money back to the community.

Fall Thrift List

My favorite season for fashion is fall, which is no surprise since I am obsessed with jackets. For any thrifter it is always a good idea to have a running list to manifest. I am going to break down a few trends for items that should be timeless and not something to discard after a few months. What are some things to add to your thrift wish list?….

Leopard….

Keep the leopard pattern classic without an abstract interpretation. Try your best to keep the pattern in the most classic look. For those who are scared to wear such a bold pattern it is fine to get it in a belt, purse, or shoe.

Wine red, ox blood, Burgundy, cherry red….

It’s called many things, but either way it is a pretty color. A throwback to a 90s look. I remember lipstick and patent leather boots being this color. The best part is that it is a forgiving color that goes with many shades and can even look great with black and brown neutrals.

Studs….

Going with an edgy look I see not a sharp punky stud but more so a rounded or hole stud. I think this looks great as a belt or bag or even shoes.

Green….

a hot color for the fall. Personally, I love a hunter or olive green. I think that military style always looks very polished. Honestly, I love picking up camo fashion pattern pieces. I would stay away from actual uniforms, but fashion camo is very flattering and can look great on most skin tones.

Pointy boots or square toe….

You are safer overall sticking with a pointy toe. I feel it sticks around in what’s trending and it is more of a classic look. Certain rounded toes can look more dated although a classic combat boot is technically a rounded toe. The square toe might not be as hot for long and might just be popular for a short period. However if you come across a real vintage leather one, I would snag it.

Western Trend….

Speaking of pointy toe, a western boot can pull a simple look together. I feel you should find one in black just so you could get more use out of them. For me, personally, I get scared about wearing this style of boot or any boot that isn’t grippy at the bottom. I fear I will fall on my face if there is water on the floor. You can always go and purchase bottoms for your boots or go to a shoe repair spot for them to do it for you. Safety first; you don’t want to slip. But dovetailing into the Western trend in general I am still on the lookout for fringe. I think it can look very cute as a maxi-skirt, bag, jacket, or even a belt.

Whimsy Goth….

The 90s fairy celestial trend is back and I am here for it. I love a sun and moon face print. It is sort of a hippy dreamy look that can be fun to style.

Bottom Line….

The 90s are back in a big way. It all depends on your own aesthetic and taste level. Some people might want to lean hard into Western and some into a more edgy grunge look. It comes down to what you love wearing and shopping for. In my notes app I like to have a running list of items I hope to run into. But before you shop, go through your closet and get good at styling clothing first. It is more important to get creative and get inspiration from just putting a look together at zero cost.

Dressing For The Female Gaze

Most millennials have been taught to dress for the male gaze. This can be a great thing to consider for when you are really getting out there with dating. There is such a thing as a correct first-date outfit: Dresses, skirts, and non-patterns are a good starting point. However, when you are in a dating break it is wonderful to explore your own personal style. There is a whole brand “man repeller” which explores style that is geared towards fashion risks and expanding. When I watch “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw’s style is truly her own taste and vibe to impress herself. How can you cultivate your own style and lean towards the female gaze?….

What do you gravitate towards naturally….

You might be shopping or thrifting and get giddy when you see a certain style or color. Follow influencers and fashion accounts on social media to get a feel of what your taste is. Usually, there is a name for the aesthetic that you can dive into. I love using key words that describe what I enjoy. For example, you might be drawn to more edgy or preppy outfits.

What are the current trends…

Not suggesting you need to jump on every bandwagon. I love watching style channels on Youtube just to get a sense of what is trending. I prefer to not look dated, but to be seen as “in the know.” The great thing about fashion is that you can look amazing at any age just by choices and silhouettes.

You don’t have to sexualize yourself….

Personally, I love to dress in a modest way. My jacket obsession will never die since it is a chic way to layer an outfit and make it all come together. Not to say you can’t wear short shorts or a low-cut shirt if that suits you. But…. ask yourself, is this for you or men? Do you get the most attention from a miniskirt and a cleavage low-cut top? Is this the only reason why you wear these items?

What is the decade that resonates with you?….

No matter what is trending, you might be drawn to the 70s or 90s, for example. It is great to play off of what makes you smile and what brings in the most compliments. You could be drawn to bright colors or certain textures.

Understand that prints and patterns can fade fast….

You are always better off peppering in patterns and mainly wearing basics to balance it out. Leopard print is back in a huge way. It is a style that you can keep and wear again. Certain patterns highlight the time period when it was big, such as chevron ( which was big in the mid-2000s). Stripes, leopard, and gingham are always in so it is a safe place to start. Prints however, are a one-of-a-kind design for the most part. It is safer to buy something unique that you enjoy.

Silhouettes and shapes….

There are certain shapes that look great on everyone. I love that we are in a wide-leg era again. It is a trend that cycles back and does not change. As far as baggy jeans, it is hard to get it to look flattering. It can make you look too bulky if it is not styled correctly. As far as loose dresses, a belt can be a great way to highlight your waist and give you some shape.

Foot wear…

Finally, comfortable shoes! I am not a heels girl, which is the most alluring to men. I personally just feel like a deer on ice in them. I might make a compromise by wearing a hefty block heel or platform Mary Janes. If you decide to purchase sneakers, go with a white, black, or neutral. Not to say a color sneaker can’t look great. As far as ballet flats, it is your call. I remember ten plus years ago I would walk sockless in a gold ballet flat. At the end of the day it was a swampy smelly mess. I do appreciate that the ballet flats are worn with socks. My favorite is more of the chunkier ones that have a sturdy sole versus a little slipper.

Purses and accessories….

Get creative, why not? This is where the styling comes into an outfit. It is easy to thrift unique belts or a fun purse or bag. It is great to have an everyday bag when you do errands. I prefer a cross-body style in order to be hands free. But why not have that bag be leather or a more luxury material? As far as going out, bags I have always had a vision of was me with a little silver sequin bag on New Year’s Eve or some cute little bag you take out when you dress up. Jewelry is a whole other thing that comes down to personal taste and style. Some people look amazing when they wear 20 necklaces. It is a matter of what physically feels right to you. I don’t love wearing earrings since they tend to itch and pull after a few hours. I love a great ring or bracelet and a simple necklace.

Bottom Line…..

Anyone who is in a “putting yourself out there, going on weekly dates” era can ignore this article. However, it is fine to have taste and stretch a little out of your comfort zone. Gather inspiration from Youtube and social media and make a shopping wish list in your notes app. It is fine to go slowly and maybe just wear a statement jacket or shoe to start. Most important is to feel excited about dressing up and stretching out of your comfort zone.

How To Be “Delulu”

The term “Delulu” has become a Tik Tok buzzword for “being delusional.” In therapy years ago, I had an “aha moment” when I realized that when you speak about the future with a negative lens, it is seen as “practical.” When you try to speak positively about any future outcomes, you are viewed as “delusional.” I am a big advocate for mindset and attitude and how it shapes our life. How can you get over negative self-talk and why is it the safe go-to?…..

Our ego loves safety…..

When we say negative things, it is mainly to keep us from taking any sort of action. This keeps us the same and safe. Our ego doesn’t want us to be skydiving everyday. However, it also protects us from dreaming bigger, like asking for a promotion.

Pay attention to actions….

Before you judge a situation show yourself hard evidence through actions. When it comes to men, talk is cheap. There have to be actions to show you if he is serious or cares. As far as friends or lovers, collect data on past behavior. When making major decisions it is good to hope for the best, but to remain neutral.

Seize opportunities….

Pay attention when opportunities present themselves. When people are stuck in a negative outlook they won’t even bother (or notice) to apply for that job or to go to that party. Most things that come your way need to be jumped on immediately. It is the universe giving you a gift.

How to manifest…..

You have to start with believing you deserve it and that positive domino effects will come from it. Most things average people want are extremely humble, yet we are taught that desiring anything makes us greedy. You can create a vision board or have a motivating quote you can see daily. I prefer making digital vision boards though Pinterest or just on my phone.

You’re never going to be fully ready for anything….

Yes, the stars can align a little, but overall, it won’t be perfect. You might feel you are at your goal weight or at your financial peak. Yes, bad timing is real, but anyone who becomes a parent can tell you there is no amount of prep that can make you feel you are ready.

You can be “delulu” and practical….

It is ok to be grounded, but still have big dreams. Start small with goals and see if doors open or close. You know when you are on the right path when opportunities come your way. You can always give anything a shot. It is easier to conceptualize a goal with smaller actionable steps instead of being completely overwhelmed.

Bottom Line….

Surround yourself with people who think big, not small. It is usually narrow-minded people who accuse you of being delusional. Fight against the status quo and connect with people who value goal-setting. Your “network is your net-worth” is a real phrase and your circle could be preventing you from achieving anything. Make a point to go to networking events and meet-up groups. As far as dating, stop going to the dingy college bar and waltz into a high-end wine bar. If your friend is more connected, ask to be invited to a party or get-together. Jobs and opportunities are made in person, not though a cold email. Lastly, use visualization to picture the positive snowball affect a goal or dream will cause. It will most likely be a positive impact to others and to your community.

How To Do The “Mob Wife” Trend Without Looking Like A Character

In case you don’t have social media, the “mob wife” trend in fashion is a hard pivot from “quiet luxury”. This trend in particular gives permission to have fun with fashion and go in a slightly divorcée gaudy direction in the best way. However, most people do not want to copy a runway look and prefer to make it their own. Here is how to embrace the trend without looking like you stepped off the Soprano’s set…..

Fur….

This is the first giveaway that you are participating in the trend. Feel free to thrift, in fact, please thrift, do not purchase new fur. I would personally prefer to wear faux fur, mainly because I don’t want PETA to throw paint on me. I feel certain trends like this that popularizes fur again can be a problem, simply because most people do not thrift and demand new fur to be manufactured. Again….thrift, get it from your grandma, wear faux, be ethical.

Animal print….

Google pictures of Kate Moss or the “Indie Sleaze” trend. It’s sort of a rocker look that is timeless and brave. It can give you ideas of how to style your outfits.

French tips….

It is perfectly fine to glue on some press ons. For those who get manicures regardless, go more brave and bold. Try a long red nail or French tips.

Red lips….

Makeup goes back and forth between layers of makeup versus the clean girl “no makeup” look. You can pull a French girl classic and wear a red lip with minimal other makeup. This is in fact a classic look that looks great on everyone.

Logos….

This is where you can screw up the trend and look like a character. Be mindful of how loud your logos are and how many you are wearing. (Also certain logos aren’t a flex to wear). If you happen to have high-end designer logos, feel free to wear them in a belt, bag or accessory.

Jewelry….

This is your chance to get away with wearing a matching set. However, it’s smart to go by the Coco Chanel advice and take off one piece before you leave the house.

Bottom Line….

Get out of your comfort zone and embrace this trend. You can dip your toe in by just wearing a leopard-print pant or jacket. You don’t have to look like a pimp by wearing a floor-length fur coat. Thrift a coat that has a fur trim or wear a fur shrug. Look up the “Indie Sleaze” trend since I think they are pretty related. With any trend you don’t have to wear everything at once. It’s best to pepper in a few bolder pieces and maybe wear a little more jewelry if that suits you. I like fashion trends where you are allowed to have fun, so wear it while the trend is still alive and well.