Setting Up For A Successful Thanksgiving As A Couple

For any couples who are meeting their partner’s family for the first time, you need a game plan. Your partner doesn’t know your cousin is deathly allergic to shrimp and that your father can’t stand the Yankees. This isn’t the time to test and see how they tread water. Have a serious discussion and rundown of how the holidays typically go. How can you let your family love your partner and set them up for success?…..

Make sure your relationship is serious enough….

There is no point in going though social torture for a casual “three -monther”. Best case, meeting family is a serious step.

Understand the overall vibe….

Every family has their own energy. Big politics talkers, pop culture nuts, sports fanatics, etc. You want to be up to speed with any news, celebrity or otherwise, when you know what topics will be brought up. Not to say they should get into political arguments. In fact, prevent that from happening. Communicate where your family is voting-wise and tell them to keep certain options to themselves. However, your partner cannot sit on the bench. He or she needs to participate regardless of what is being discussed.

Sleeping arrangements and rules….

Not your house, not your rules. Most parents have a “no sharing a room until married” policy. This includes practicing etiquette and being polite. Tell your partner to bring a gift and offer to help clean up. Rules and manners should be top of mind. Wake up times are also crucial to get right. Let them know if you are a turkey-trot family or the type that hits the snooze button.

How to dress….

For women talking to men, push them to dress up slightly. No need for a suit, but a nice button down or sweater will work. As a woman, hopefully it is not a shock that you need to dress more conservatively. This includes sleepwear and lounge wear to wear around the house. It is a good time to upgrade to a matching set with a high neck line.

Alcohol use….

Some families are big drinkers, some are sober. It would be stupid to bring a bottle of wine as a gift for non-drinkers. A good alternative to wine is to make cookies or bring a nice olive oil and vinegar set in pretty bottles. Even if the family drinks, they can’t treat it like a frat party.

Tell them to ask questions….

It is a good reminder to encourage your significant other to think of stock questions to ask. They are hopefully naturally curious, but might be shy and awkward. To ease their mind feed them a few lines and topics to get them started.

Bottom Line….

Set your partner up for success. Do not watch them drown and then conclude they aren’t your person. At least, give them a shot to win. No one wants to spend a holiday without their family. Be honest with yourself and understand if your family is a “hosting family” or not. There is nothing wrong with grabbing a nice lunch to meet the family versus a whole Thanksgiving or holiday weekend. Lastly, this shouldn’t be a whole test of the relationship. It isn’t fair to set your partner up for failure.

Acts of Service / Homemade Gifts Ideas For Christmas

I find it can be fun to have a few presents to open. However, I am a big advocate for a service gift. Christmas is the end of the year and many people are in a slump and need an extra push. What is your expertise? Everyone has skills that could be put to good use. Think of their lifestyle and what they are lacking. A small act of service might help them get to the next level. I want to stress that you are not becoming someone’s personal assistant for a year. Think of the gift as you being a consultant and don’t let it take up more than an afternoon of your time. Regardless, it is perfect for minimalists and anyone needing a specific favor….

Spa day….

Most people shy away from treating themselves to a facial, massage, or pedicure. To them it might seem too indulgent to book themselves. Snag a certificate from a great salon or spa.

Create your own bath and shower products….

There are tutorials on how to make bath / shower bombs. I personally love making salt body scrubs ( I use a black salt or anything upscale and gourmet). A sugar scrub to exfoliate lips in the winter months is a must have. Add them into clear mason jars scented or unscented. If you are skilled at knitting, you can create homemade washcloths. It’s fun to present them in a cute package.

Closet clean out….

There are types of people who just need permission to donate clothing. They might not have a clue what looks good or what is dated. It can be a lifesaver to someone who feels overwhelmed by their wardrobe.

Personal Shopper….

Anyone who wants to change up their style could use a stylist. Go shopping with them and say yay or nay to items while giving them ideas on what is going to be the most flattering colors, silhouette, and trends.

Clothing tailor….

For anyone who can work a sewing machine, you can tailor a clothing item on its last legs and bring it back to life. They might have a shirt or dress that no longer fits, but they love. Turn the fabric into a great throw pillow or transform it into another type of garment. You can also sew silk pillowcases and silk eye-sleep masks.

Interior Design Consultant….

Not saying to redo their home, so don’t panic. Give your two cents to someone who has been wanting to decorate for a while. Help them with a mood board, and research paint colors, decor styles, etc. For anyone who is knowledgeable in feng shui, suggest where certain furniture pieces can go to maximize the flow.

Spiritual Gifts….

This is kinda an LA gift or anyone who loves the woo woo. Book them a tarot reading appointment, aura cleanse, or reiki healing session.

Car wash and buff….

Take your loved one’s car to the car wash. It is a slept-on gift and cars tend to get neglected, especially in the busy season.

Maid Service….

There are certain packages you can buy from cleaning companies. Sign them up for a monthly, biweekly, or weekly clean up depending on your budget. Be very choosy on who you give this to. It could come off as insulting to some. If they are a new mother who does not have time, then this might fit the bill.

Baked goods and gourmet bites….

This is for the cooks and bakers. Everyone loves a fancy homemade treat. Cater it to their dietary needs such as gluten-free, vegan, ethnic, etc. It doesn’t have to be sweet, you can give savory bite-sized appetizers as well.

Help them with their resume….

For anyone on the job hunt, it can get overwhelming. Having a solid resume in the perfect format can make or break if you get an interview. Help make sure they have a great pic on LinkedIn and that their skills are being highlighted. A big leg up could be to help them network.

Become their matchmaker….

Most people are dying to be set up. Think of great guys in your social circle that you can introduce them to. Research speed-dating or mixers in their town and purchase a ticket for them.

Be their image consultant for the dating apps….

Help them pick great photos or take some new photos for them. Ghostwrite their prompts and give a few opening lines to get them started. Overall, make sure they are coming off classy and with a personality.

Event coordinator….

This is for the social butterfly in the know of restaurant openings and parties. Many people want to go to more events but have no clue where to start. Create an event calendar for concerts, comedy shows, karaoke and send them alerts for the holiday season.

Movie and TV buff….

Certain cinemas offer passes or memberships. For those who prefer to sit on the couch, pay for a niche streaming service they would be excited about. Britbox and Criterion are great options.

Sign them up for a class….

It could be cooking, cocktail making, or a fun art class. They will learn a new skill and meet more people.

Be an Apple Genius….

This would be a great gift for older relatives. Set them up with great apps and help declutter their desktop. Simplify their iPhone or laptop so it is more user friendly. Most people are not knowledgeable about certain features of the phone or computer.

Set up cyber and home security….

Again, great gift for people who aren’t up to speed with technology. Some people do not want an Alexa barking orders, so keep that in mind. However, you could install a safer doorknob that requires a code, as an example. Purchase air tags for their luggage and car if they travel or are someone who manages to lose their keys and wallet a lot.

Bottom Line….

Before you do anything think about your skill set. Anyone is capable of at least hiring a service for a loved one. Keep in mind you will probably still need a few gifts to open under the tree. It is best to plan the budget and figure how many people will be receiving a present. Save the service gifts for family and friends who you are very close to. Set your loved ones up for success for the upcoming year. You will make a larger impact than you think.

Skipping Over Thanksgiving As A Trend

In the past there have been rules of when to decorate for certain holidays. Most people have been told to put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving or even December 1st. Once the pandemic started, I noticed the trend of skipping over Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas. I actually read an article contending that people who do this are happier. Long story short, start the holidays when you see fit, here’s why….

People love sparkle….

Christmas decorations are all about sparkle, glitter, and shine. Humans love to look at shiny objects. It gives them a little hit of serotonin (not a doctor, but it gets my pulse going).

It encapsulates a lot of trends in one….

A Christmas cheer is exactly what a girl who romanticizes her life will do. She is probably in her “soft-life era.” This time of year encourages fuzzy blankets, hot tea, and curling up watching favorite shows in candlelight. You can pretend to be the main character in a Hallmark movie.

The holidays go by soooo fast….

The more time you get to have the decorations up, the better you feel. The holidays, especially post-Thanksgiving zoom by and frankly, you don’t have time after Black Friday to sit and sip your hot chocolate next to your tree.

You can decorate in your own color scheme and vibe….

Unlike other holidays you can showcase your own style within Christmas. If you only love silver and gold, great! You can also lean into arts and crafts style with Popsicle frame pics of family. I have even seen Christmas in a goth style.

You can still enjoy Thanksgiving….

We give fall our all. I don’t find it is skipped over. There is pumpkin spice and sweater weather, the leaves, etc. I do think the Halloween and Thanksgiving holidays get recognized.

Before you decorate….

Do a clean out and donate unused decorations. Obviously, keep anything sentimental and precious to you. But go though the lights that do not work and are tangled and decide overall what the vibe will be. Like I said, you can decorate with your own taste in mind. This might mean out with old, in with the new.

Get ahead of the stress part….

Start making a list for presents and purchase your Christmas cards. Decide what your budget is and how many gifts per person. Keep in mind that certain people would prefer a service IOU present which can be priceless. Don’t limit yourself to physical items.

Bottom Line….

Give yourself permission to decorate. Honestly, this generation (Millennial and Gen Z ) are already doing it regardless. There is time that needs to be spent on brainstorming on the vibe you want to capture. I love when a person has their own Christmas style that is unique to them and their home. This year spend more time in the Christmas spirit versus the frantic stress ball that can occur.