Do Less to Get More in 2024

Before the new year starts, it is time to reflect on 2023. For me, I did a ton of things that were total time sucks. You will not be rewarded for effort, only results. Anything that takes away time or doubles your effort should be avoided. Go through 2023 and decide what you can take off your plate. It is also a great time to do a purge of things you do not use. Get rid of expired food items, donate clothing, regift kitchen appliances that still work but you never use. You want to clear a space for a fresh start. I enjoy deep cleaning my car and doing a deep clean of the bathroom. Any superstitious people should not clean on New Year’s Day, so best to get it over with before the 1st. What can we let go of to bring in more?….

Toxic things and people….

Did you go with your gut this year, or did you push through? Most of the time, obligations stand in the way of our happiness. There might be pressure to socialize with a certain friend or drink too much alcohol. In dating, there is a lot of begging and pushing. Are you saying yes to “not cause drama” ? Your job could make you want to throw up every morning. Really step back and see how you feel about everything in your life.

Applying to jobs you are not qualified for….

Most people would say, “Hey, there is no harm in applying.” But when you spend hours of your day crafting the perfect cover letter only to be rejected? Network more and stop applying online. You will get way more out of a networking mixer than a daily cold email. Turn off those job alerts to avoid getting into a time suck.

Your health and wellness….

Your party friends do not want you to be healthy. They loved the 2am drive-thru after drinking or the couch-potato lifestyle you shared. When you decide to get healthy, closing down the bar will be replaced with staying home. Not to say you can’t go out here and there. However, most of the fun friends will fade away. This isn’t to discourage, but social pressure can stand in the way of losing weight and getting sober.

Gossip and drama….

It’s fun to get the scoop on celebrity gossip and be informed. Work and friendship gossip should be avoided. Once you talk about one friend behind their back it will blow up eventually. Look inward and be inspired rather than wasting time on trying to ruin someone. Envy means you want what they have. Work on yourself and your goals and stay in your own lane.

Skim down your friend group….

Put your friends into categories. There are long-distance friends who you can chat online with. And there should be a friend that you can be inspired by. Maybe their career is going well or they are an “expander” in what you thought was possible. Sparingly, you need an extrovert friend who wants to be social with you. Avoid friends who only want to complain and talk about problems. Nothing wrong with a minor crisis here and there. Shouldn’t be a daily habit to complain and ask for help. Make sure you are not burdening people with things you should do yourself.

Dating with no momentum….

Dating apps are a total time suck. One minute you are swiping, then four hours go by. It’s my personal opinion to delete the apps if you are interested in dating seriously. Get yourself together and go to a mixer, set up, or get more out there in person. Another time suck is chasing after a guy who does not like you–stalking his Instagram, hovering over the message button, and orbiting him.

Distractions…..

I understand it’s healthy to let off steam and avoid the world. However, it is easy to get addicted and use video games, for an example, as a way to avoid responsibilities and being present with the people in your life. However, you can maximize your time by doing two things at once. For example, listening to a podcast while working out or washing the dishes.

Replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one….

Drink a relaxing tea instead of a glass of wine. Go to the gym instead of going to the bar. Prioritize eating habits, sleep, and exercise and see if you are tempted to still be unhealthy.

Bottom Line….

Take an audit of 2023. Be honest with what was a total waste of time. It is more important to take things off your priority list rather than piling on. The first step should be a purge of items, people, jobs, and distractions that do not serve you. As far as dating and relationships, see what worked and what didn’t. We waste a lot of time going in blind for first app dates. Time cannot be replaced, which is why it should not be mindlessly wasted and squandered. In 2024, remember that effort will not be rewarded, only results. Stick to things that truly work and keep things simple and clean to achieve that.

The Types Of Dates For New Year’s Eve

We all would like a committed boyfriend on New Year’s Eve, or at least a great kiss. However, being casual and single presents the in-between options that all have different meanings and experiences. The hill I will die on is that New Year’s Eve is a legit way to tell if your new boyfriend is taking the relationship seriously. Anything that isn’t fully committed is probably a mix of loneliness and at best wanting to get something started. I will say this is my biggest advice for singles without a date: don’t be on the prowl for men the whole night. I know you need that validation of getting that kiss, but you are wasting your whole night and your aura will be desperate. When you are leaving your house before you go out tell yourself internally that you are fine without a kiss and just want to enjoy yourself. Now onto the types of dates that can happen…..

The “We just started our relationship” date…

Ok, yea, pretty self-explanatory. It’s a great sign when a new boyfriend wants to be seen with you in public and kiss when the ball drops. Any hesitation is a huge red flag.

The “We are on a first date” date….

This could go ok…. I mean my advice is to vet the guy before to just see if there is any chemistry. With app dating you have no clue what you are getting and dressing up for the night takes time and effort. You don’t want to be stuck with someone. I would do a meet-and-greet before the big night.

The “We are friends who can kiss” date…..

No shame in this, in fact this is probably the least pressure. You can have fun and dance the night away, but there is no possessiveness involved and you are free to mingle and use the friend as a backup

The “We met at the club” date….

Anyone is who concerned who they will kiss at midnight is scooping out the hotties to kiss before midnight. He will see who bites and buy people drinks to see who sticks or not. I will say this can feel like a rollercoaster because you might think you have a secure kiss and then he is near the bathroom making out with someone else.

The “ I am cheating on my wife” date….

Ok, this actually happened to me one year. I showed up solo for New Year’s and then this guy immediately starting chatting. Look out for guys willing to cheat, it can leave you with a yucky feeling at the start of the year.

The “set up” date…..

I love a good set up as long as there is some thought behind it. This is honestly a great opportunity to get introduced. You are looking more dressed up and are in a great mood. So go with it and see if there is a spark.

Bottom Line…

When you are single on New Year’s Eve there are more possibilities than you think. Be open to seeing what works best for you. It’s ok to try to organize a date if you feel weird riding solo for the night. Your safest bet is taking a gray-area friend with you to have fun. There is no pressure to stick with them all night, but they make a great back up. At the very least, try to do that and don’t be laser-focused on snagging that kiss.

New Year’s Eve Kiss

It’s not real unless he spends New Year’s Eve with you….That has been my rule for many years and I still stand by it! The notion of sharing the first kiss of the year with someone is sacred. Even in a brand-new relationship it is crucial to spend New Year’s Eve together. It is telling the world and time itself that you are moving forward together into the next year. Here are four common excuses he can’t spend New Year’s Eve together……

He chose to be out of town…..

Sure, your boyfriend might have to go down to Florida for the holidays. New Year’s….his family doesn’t expect him to be there. Saying he will be back in town on the fourth indicates something fishy is happening.

He doesn’t want to celebrate at all…..

When everyone is going out or having a small get together and he insists on playing video games by himself… beware. He saying it’s an overrated holiday or anything of that nature should not be taken lightly.

He didn’t request off work…..

I mean… it happens that service industry folks or retail get the short end of the stick. Usually though, if you request off way in advance, they will give you the night off. He might be putting up the work buffer to avoid the whole night.

He is spending it with friends….

The squad has decided to go to Aspen…..without you. He planned this out before he met you, yet doesn’t want you to book your own ticket. You have to wonder who he is planning on kissing because it isn’t you.

Bottom Line….

Excuses come up a lot when holidays, birthdays, and New Year’s roll around. Starting the new year together has a lot of meaning. Going out in public or to a small get together in shiny outfits and a New Year’s tiara shows the world you are a couple. Some men don’t want to make that declaration, even if he asked you to be his girlfriend. He might brush it off saying it isn’t a big deal, “it’s an overrated holiday.” He knows it’s a big deal which is why he is avoiding it. When the excuse train leaves the station, decide if this relationship is even real. Maybe you need to have a clean slate for the New Year and dump him.