Before the new year starts, it is time to reflect on 2023. For me, I did a ton of things that were total time sucks. You will not be rewarded for effort, only results. Anything that takes away time or doubles your effort should be avoided. Go through 2023 and decide what you can take off your plate. It is also a great time to do a purge of things you do not use. Get rid of expired food items, donate clothing, regift kitchen appliances that still work but you never use. You want to clear a space for a fresh start. I enjoy deep cleaning my car and doing a deep clean of the bathroom. Any superstitious people should not clean on New Year’s Day, so best to get it over with before the 1st. What can we let go of to bring in more?….
Toxic things and people….
Did you go with your gut this year, or did you push through? Most of the time, obligations stand in the way of our happiness. There might be pressure to socialize with a certain friend or drink too much alcohol. In dating, there is a lot of begging and pushing. Are you saying yes to “not cause drama” ? Your job could make you want to throw up every morning. Really step back and see how you feel about everything in your life.
Applying to jobs you are not qualified for….
Most people would say, “Hey, there is no harm in applying.” But when you spend hours of your day crafting the perfect cover letter only to be rejected? Network more and stop applying online. You will get way more out of a networking mixer than a daily cold email. Turn off those job alerts to avoid getting into a time suck.
Your health and wellness….
Your party friends do not want you to be healthy. They loved the 2am drive-thru after drinking or the couch-potato lifestyle you shared. When you decide to get healthy, closing down the bar will be replaced with staying home. Not to say you can’t go out here and there. However, most of the fun friends will fade away. This isn’t to discourage, but social pressure can stand in the way of losing weight and getting sober.
Gossip and drama….
It’s fun to get the scoop on celebrity gossip and be informed. Work and friendship gossip should be avoided. Once you talk about one friend behind their back it will blow up eventually. Look inward and be inspired rather than wasting time on trying to ruin someone. Envy means you want what they have. Work on yourself and your goals and stay in your own lane.
Skim down your friend group….
Put your friends into categories. There are long-distance friends who you can chat online with. And there should be a friend that you can be inspired by. Maybe their career is going well or they are an “expander” in what you thought was possible. Sparingly, you need an extrovert friend who wants to be social with you. Avoid friends who only want to complain and talk about problems. Nothing wrong with a minor crisis here and there. Shouldn’t be a daily habit to complain and ask for help. Make sure you are not burdening people with things you should do yourself.
Dating with no momentum….
Dating apps are a total time suck. One minute you are swiping, then four hours go by. It’s my personal opinion to delete the apps if you are interested in dating seriously. Get yourself together and go to a mixer, set up, or get more out there in person. Another time suck is chasing after a guy who does not like you–stalking his Instagram, hovering over the message button, and orbiting him.
Distractions…..
I understand it’s healthy to let off steam and avoid the world. However, it is easy to get addicted and use video games, for an example, as a way to avoid responsibilities and being present with the people in your life. However, you can maximize your time by doing two things at once. For example, listening to a podcast while working out or washing the dishes.
Replace an unhealthy habit with a healthy one….
Drink a relaxing tea instead of a glass of wine. Go to the gym instead of going to the bar. Prioritize eating habits, sleep, and exercise and see if you are tempted to still be unhealthy.
Bottom Line….
Take an audit of 2023. Be honest with what was a total waste of time. It is more important to take things off your priority list rather than piling on. The first step should be a purge of items, people, jobs, and distractions that do not serve you. As far as dating and relationships, see what worked and what didn’t. We waste a lot of time going in blind for first app dates. Time cannot be replaced, which is why it should not be mindlessly wasted and squandered. In 2024, remember that effort will not be rewarded, only results. Stick to things that truly work and keep things simple and clean to achieve that.
Mostly Casual 