Scarcity Mindset

Our mind is a powerful thing. I am a believer in manifesting and the importance of a positive perspective. It goes back to the bike theory: If you tell yourself you need to buy a new bike then the next day you will notice all these bike shops you had not noticed before. Your brain loves to be proven right. This can be positive if you are thinking positive. However, if you have negative view point your brain still doesn’t want to be wrong and will present you with negative situations. This happens a lot with dating when women complain, “there are no good men left!”. Or “my town sucks for dating!” Saying negative statements like this out loud will only make them a reality….

“But, seriously, my town does suck for dating”….

Literally everyone has said this. I have heard this from women who live in New York City, to LA, to Portland. I live in a college town so I know about dating in a bad town. There is always an excuse. It puts the problem on others and not yourself. You need to think about how many people live in your town. (Maybe even look it up.) Think about how many people you haven’t met and who just moved to the town.

“But should I move”?…

Honestly, I think it’s more about attitude than just running away. You can make it work in every city if you remain positive. There are lists for “the best cities for singles” out there that change every single year. The important thing about a city for singles is: Is it affordable? Are there things to do? Is it walkable? And how many bars and restaurants are there? A lot of the cities that get on the lists are huge cities such as LA. In my opinion, a huge city has a ton of competition and you will be stuck in traffic. A “long distance relationship” might be ten miles away, but takes an hour to get to each other.

Stop saying negative phrases out loud….

Saying things like, “men are trash,” “all the good ones are taken,” and “I will never find the one” are very bad things to say to yourself. Again, your mind wants to be correct so you will end up manifesting toxic men in your life.

Have a dating mantra…

A good mantra to say is, “there are great men everywhere.” Think with an abundant mindset. Also, the saying is sort of true that when you aren’t looking then it will fall into your lap.

Go beyond the apps…

Even just going for a walk in a different part of town or grabbing a to-go coffee that changes your routine can help. Obviously, it is more difficult to meet someone in person these days. The important thing right now is to try to flip your negative thinking into positive. This could apply to finding a new job or achieving small goals. Once you practice the abundant mindset it will get easier to use it for dating.

Bottom Line…

It’s easy to blame your city for why you haven’t been on good dates. The reality is that most of your dates will be neutral no matter where you live. Practice abundance in your daily life. Put positive intentions out to the universe and see what happens. If you really want to move to a new city, consider your options carefully. Moving to a large city might make your life harder, not easier. Think about how your life will be and if you can navigate it on a daily basis. However, sometimes taking a big risk can really pay off and change the course of your life. If you choose to stay, then change up your routine and expand your social circle.