Halloween Part 2: The Couples Costume

You might find yourself booed up for Spooky Season. It could be your first Halloween together and you want it to go well. The holiday can be celebrated in many ways: staying home watching thrillers, taking your niece trick-or-treating, a masquerade dance, or all of the above. What happens if you found out you are dating the “no costume guy”?….Will your relationship last when you both don’t align on activities and fun?……

You live for Halloween, he could care less…..

Ok, let’s talk about the “no costume guy.” I had a boyfriend who was this person. I took the time to paint on my David Bowie lightning makeup and cut my orange wig into a mullet. He….showed up in a gray hoodie. Is this a reflection on his personality, or is it nothing deep? To me, it says a lot about a person who doesn’t enjoy fun and camp. He might have an overall, “too cool for school” attitude and scoffs at anyone being a “sheeple.” It could be an indication he is self-conscious and fears judgment. Either way, I find it a red flag since it shows he lacks creativity, spontaneity, and well… fun.

What if he is pushy with his vision?…..

On the opposite end, you might be dating the Halloween fanatic. He could have a vision of you both doing an elaborate costume of you two as a socket and a plug who cannot walk apart. Always have counter ideas to bounce off of. Don’t let him bully you into a costume you don’t even like. Show him Pinterest boards and try your best to compromise. Bring up cost and ease of wear. You both want to feel free to move and not spend a fortune. Even if a compromise cannot be made, try your best to be in a similar theme so you look like you go together.

He wants to watch scary movies and give out candy, but won’t party…..

My younger self would have thrown on the most scandalous costume and kissed him on the cheek goodbye. (Side note, if he is triggered by a salacious costume, it can be a red flag. Yes, you should tone it down a bit if you have a boyfriend, but a sliver of skin should not make his blood boil). Anyway, there needs to be an understanding that you are going to enjoy yourself. It is alarming if he would rather sit on a couch than spend time with you. Talk it out fully and get to the bottom of why. Still plan to go out no matter what. Don’t let him suck you into his lazy vortex.

Long-lasting couples like the same activities….

I just watched Youtuber Shallon Lester’s video about soul mates (“Kourtney and Travis Engaged! Six Signs He is Your Soulmate”). She talks about mutually enjoyable activities (dancing, skiing, cheering on a favorite team) being the glue that holds a long-lasting couple together. Halloween is no exception. It represents how you enjoy your life. Are you “sit on the beach” people, or “renting a surfboard” couple? Attraction can only take you so far; you have to enjoy your time outside of the bedroom. In the case of Halloween, if he chose to stay home while you are out dancing, does this sound right to you?

What if he is the party boy and you could care less?….

Again, it is an alignment issue. Ask yourself why you don’t want to go out. Are you ashamed to be seen with him? Or are you a homebody who wouldn’t go out for anyone? In either scenario, it is not fair for the introvert to prevent the extrovert from having fun. You can muster up an easy costume and show up for a bit. Men should be doing this too, yet tend to be more stubborn. Do you want him to meet single girls or have his friends confused as to why you decided to stay in? You are showing the world there are cracks in your relationship that other people might take advantage of.

Bottom Line…..

Halloween can be a great test for new couples. It is a time to compromise, to see how controlling he is, or to discover if he has a stubborn nature. All this is great information to gather. Down the road, he might refuse to spend the holidays with your family, only his. His behavior bleeds out in other aspects of his life. Ask yourself if you can handle your boyfriend preferring the La-Z-Boy recliner to spending time with you. You could discover he does not want to be seen with you, or he is just boring. Do not let him off the hook for not making an effort to spend time with you. The homebodies need to let the party people have fun. Compromise and communication need to happen. Question your relationship if nothing resolved and you are constantly misaligned with how you want to spend your time outside the bedroom.

Halloween: A Single Girl’s Holiday

I have more fun as an adult on Halloween. By late September I am using Pinterest to come up with a unique costume. Most people would say that Halloween is meant for couples, hence the couples’ costumes. I have found that it’s the best time to meet a new guy in person. There is something about putting on a costume that makes you project a new energy onto the world. You’ll stand different, be more extroverted, and feel sexier. This year, alas, I will be eating candy in bed watching “BeetleJuice.” Next year, we can hopefully haunt the streets even if it involves dressing up as a ninja or old west bank robber.

How to dress on Halloween…

  1. You might dress more provocatively than you normally do – I think it’s fun to look sexy on Halloween. Use your assets to your advantage.
  2. Wear any makeup you want – Go all out on makeup. It’s so fun to experiment with glitter and color.
  3. Watch a makeup tutorial on YouTube – It’s worth it to get some technical skills
  4. Wear a wig – A wig really pulls the whole costume together.
  5. Think outside the box – Dress as someone who is recognizable, yet easy to recreate. Think of a famous character in a film or maybe a certain type of woman in a different era. You might even want to update a classic costume into something very unique.
  6. Make a Pinterest board – This will help visualize the actual costume and makeup look.

How to save money on a costume…

  1. Brainstorm a costume that is already in your closet – Go though your clothes and see what you already have. Maybe you have some red cowboy boots and it gives you the inspiration to be a sexy cowgirl.
  2. Go to a thrift store – Buy your main parts of your costume at a thrift store. Try your best to find somewhat comfortable clothes and shoes. You don’t want to end up with a twisted ankle.
  3. Buy small items or makeup at the Halloween store – Don’t spend a fortune on a costume wrapped in plastic. It can be ill-fitting and it lacks creativity. I do like to buy certain makeup at the Halloween store. Also, it’s part of the experience and gets you into the spirt.

How to not be offensive with your costume…

In this day and age you can offend anyone. It’s good to just keep your creative vision politically correct. Your costume shouldn’t be a different culture’s traditional dress. For example, if you are white, it’s not the best idea to dress as a Native American. Keep race and culture out of your costume.

How to go out with friends or solo….

As a single person, I say the night is yours. You might want to have a scheduled date to meet, or you can just go by yourself and see what happens. It’s a great night to go to a bar you never go to and be out of your comfort zone. I don’t suggest being on a group of friends’ schedule; have your own transportation.

How to get the most out of your night…

  1. Don’t settle on the first guy who hits on you – Some guys will want to keep you for the whole night. Accept the drink, but keep it moving.
  2. Go to multiple locations – Be prepared to walk. So maybe those six-inch heels won’t be the best idea. If a place is too crowded or the vibe is off, then leave immediately.
  3. Pre-game if you can – This is why it’s best to plan ahead. Meet at a friend’s first and then walk to the bars.
  4. Figure out your ride situation before – I suggest taking Uber or walking to a friend’s house etc. Basically, don’t drive drunk. If you end up with a DUI, you will wearing a costume in jail. Think about that.
  5. Remember to have fun – This is the night where you get to be someone else. Make up a fake name, speak in a different voice, and don’t be a wallflower.

Bottom Line…..

Halloween is a great time to express your creativity. Sometimes the best costumes come out of your closet. Avoid spending money on a $200 costume that comes in a plastic bag. Cultural awareness is important. A culture’s traditional dress is not a costume. Everyone is easily offended so I would just avoid it completely. If you have zero ideas, check out ideas on Pinterest or Google. You can look up what’s trending and the predictions for what will be the most popular. Remember to check the weather, it can really make a difference in your vision. You might have to include a coat in your costume. Being single is the most fun on Halloween. You won’t get stuck dressing up in a cheesy couples’ costume. Don’t be afraid to go out alone. Check the events that are going on and just go. You never know who you will meet. Obviously, this year is different since every event and holiday is canceled. Remember to be safe and don’t feel bad for just having a B-movie horror fest alone with your cat. There will be many more years to do it up and dress to the nines.