You might find yourself booed up for Spooky Season. It could be your first Halloween together and you want it to go well. The holiday can be celebrated in many ways: staying home watching thrillers, taking your niece trick-or-treating, a masquerade dance, or all of the above. What happens if you found out you are dating the “no costume guy”?….Will your relationship last when you both don’t align on activities and fun?……
You live for Halloween, he could care less…..
Ok, let’s talk about the “no costume guy.” I had a boyfriend who was this person. I took the time to paint on my David Bowie lightning makeup and cut my orange wig into a mullet. He….showed up in a gray hoodie. Is this a reflection on his personality, or is it nothing deep? To me, it says a lot about a person who doesn’t enjoy fun and camp. He might have an overall, “too cool for school” attitude and scoffs at anyone being a “sheeple.” It could be an indication he is self-conscious and fears judgment. Either way, I find it a red flag since it shows he lacks creativity, spontaneity, and well… fun.
What if he is pushy with his vision?…..
On the opposite end, you might be dating the Halloween fanatic. He could have a vision of you both doing an elaborate costume of you two as a socket and a plug who cannot walk apart. Always have counter ideas to bounce off of. Don’t let him bully you into a costume you don’t even like. Show him Pinterest boards and try your best to compromise. Bring up cost and ease of wear. You both want to feel free to move and not spend a fortune. Even if a compromise cannot be made, try your best to be in a similar theme so you look like you go together.
He wants to watch scary movies and give out candy, but won’t party…..
My younger self would have thrown on the most scandalous costume and kissed him on the cheek goodbye. (Side note, if he is triggered by a salacious costume, it can be a red flag. Yes, you should tone it down a bit if you have a boyfriend, but a sliver of skin should not make his blood boil). Anyway, there needs to be an understanding that you are going to enjoy yourself. It is alarming if he would rather sit on a couch than spend time with you. Talk it out fully and get to the bottom of why. Still plan to go out no matter what. Don’t let him suck you into his lazy vortex.
Long-lasting couples like the same activities….
I just watched Youtuber Shallon Lester’s video about soul mates (“Kourtney and Travis Engaged! Six Signs He is Your Soulmate”). She talks about mutually enjoyable activities (dancing, skiing, cheering on a favorite team) being the glue that holds a long-lasting couple together. Halloween is no exception. It represents how you enjoy your life. Are you “sit on the beach” people, or “renting a surfboard” couple? Attraction can only take you so far; you have to enjoy your time outside of the bedroom. In the case of Halloween, if he chose to stay home while you are out dancing, does this sound right to you?
What if he is the party boy and you could care less?….
Again, it is an alignment issue. Ask yourself why you don’t want to go out. Are you ashamed to be seen with him? Or are you a homebody who wouldn’t go out for anyone? In either scenario, it is not fair for the introvert to prevent the extrovert from having fun. You can muster up an easy costume and show up for a bit. Men should be doing this too, yet tend to be more stubborn. Do you want him to meet single girls or have his friends confused as to why you decided to stay in? You are showing the world there are cracks in your relationship that other people might take advantage of.
Halloween can be a great test for new couples. It is a time to compromise, to see how controlling he is, or to discover if he has a stubborn nature. All this is great information to gather. Down the road, he might refuse to spend the holidays with your family, only his. His behavior bleeds out in other aspects of his life. Ask yourself if you can handle your boyfriend preferring the La-Z-Boy recliner to spending time with you. You could discover he does not want to be seen with you, or he is just boring. Do not let him off the hook for not making an effort to spend time with you. The homebodies need to let the party people have fun. Compromise and communication need to happen. Question your relationship if nothing resolved and you are constantly misaligned with how you want to spend your time outside the bedroom.