Dating App Tips For Men Who Are Not Matching

The apps can be hard to navigate no matter who you are, but…it is overwhelmingly easier for women. Getting matches and dates only require a woman to look halfway decent in the photos. Most guys will play the numbers game and match with everyone and then sort though them later. Yes, pretty privilege is real for all the sexes. Anyone will get more of a response when you look attractive. However, an average Joe can use some strategy to get noticed. What are a few changes that can be made to increase matching on the apps?….

Your first photo is your most important….

Think about how swiping works. It happens in lightening speed and all decisions are made from the first pic. When the photo is too far away and not an attention grabber you will easily be swiped aside. Not to say you should look like a model, but it should make her stop for a second. This can do with the location, pose, or clothing. Try to step out of a typical car selfie.

Bio ….

When you leave things blank, its “sus” and when you say the wrong thing, it’s “cringe.” It can be seen as a f-boy move to only have pics of you in the gym with no bio. The worst thing you should do is have the attitude that you are above the apps. I see a ton of guys saying the app is stupid, etc. Negativity in any form will halt any connections. 


This can get hard to convey your personality. Women want a funny man who doesn’t take himself too seriously. However, all the prompts should not be seen as a “joke.” It is important to pepper in info about yourself briefly in an intriguing package. Speak in story not facts, meaning paint a picture, even when it’s a sentence. 

Get an outside opinion….

Ask your female friends or sister, etc, to glance at your profile. You might be surprised how you are coming off. Like I said, the order of your photos really matters and can make or break if she swipes right. Also, inconsistencies can really hurt your chances with “kitten fishing” (photos from you playing high school baseball to now). Keep a timeline in the present. Your photos on the apps should not be older than two years. 

Lead with your strengths…

You have to think what women are looking for in a partner. At the base level, she wants you to be independent and have some financial security. Having your sh*t together can really help you in the long run. Not saying you should be bragging about how you invested in Crypto. It is important to take advantage of the basic info where it says what college you went to or your occupation. You don’t have to put your job on blast, but you can communicate what industry you are in. 

Think about what women are attracted to, not men….

Women can make this mistake as well. They make a profile that she would love, not men. (Maybe her prompts are too snarky and she is not emphasizing her photos).  Always take your audience into consideration. Women are interested in what you have to say and if you have a personality. Bonus points if you have extra-curricular activities like being in a band or soccer team. Make sure your photos look good, yet effortless. Having a professional head shot can look stiff and make your look too serious and not sexy. Not to say you shouldn’t have quality photos. Just avoid any photos where it looks like a school photographer took it or having the appearance of a passport photo. 

Humor can be hard to convey….

The whole article has been about being seen as funny and having a personality. I do want to be clear what that actually means. I see “my love language is sarcasm” too much. I understand you don’t want to be seen as “the nice guy.” It is hard to capture if you are truly a lovable a**hole, or just a jerk. The tone should be more silly and playful since it gives off positive vibes. You can be witty and smart without being negative. 

Bottom Line….

The stats out there are only a minority of men get all the matches. Yes, appearance matters, however women can fall in love with a personality more than men can. If you are smart and funny, then lead with that. Make an effort to pick the right prompts that will bring out your humor or personality. Having a job and cool hobbies is a strength. Even if you are into nerdy stuff, there are nerdy girls out there who will connect with that. Try to switch things up, and most importantly, make sure your first pic is a show-stopper. Do not despair if things are still not clicking after you make changes. The apps are on their way out and in-person will be become more of the trend again. Try your best to not spend all day on the apps. Practice being social and gain more 2nd- and 3rd-tier friends. Your network will lead to more authentic connections that matter more than how many matches you get.