How To Navigate The Break Up As The Dumper

Whether the break up was serious or from a situationship, it can still be awkward. Long-term, it is better to be classy and be respectful of who you dumped. Even if he cheated or was awful, it is better to take the high road. It is sort of like being asked in an interview about why you left. It would be silly to drag down the former boss or employees. It only makes you look bad. I give the “lay low” advice a lot in situations, and this is another time where you should be discreet. Here’s how….

Never post on socials…..

Back in the olden times you would be “Facebook official” and then… (dramatic music)… you would be single! It was very juicy for others. Nowadays, most couples aren’t too entangled through social media. However, if you are dumping him out of anger, it is tempting to air your dirty laundry online. Resist that urge! 

Make sure the door is closed….

This could be a situation where he is blindsided. He might be shocked you want to end it. You have to be gentle, yet firm and not give false hope. He needs to understand this is a break up, not you being wishy-washy. Of course, do this where he has proven that he can not change, etc. 

 Don’t send an “I miss you” text….

In fact, you should delete his number. Maybe keep some line of communication open, like muting on Instagram just in case something dramatic happens. Having access to a phone number can be tempting after a lonely night with some wine. It will only confuse him, and you only felt it for a second that you missed having a boyfriend, not him. 

Keep everything discreet and private….

Any new dates, or you having fun, should be under the radar.  Try your best to be kind and avoid your former date spots with him. Give him the space to go there. It is best not to run into him, especially with a new date. 

Try not to spread rumors….

It is tempting to complain to your bar friends about your ex. As long as they have no idea who he is, then it can be ok. Either way, it is best to not talk sh*t about him around town. It could get back to him, or make you look like you aren’t over it.

Have a time limit to talk about him with others…..

You can process the breakup in different ways. It is best to not involve your friends or therapist too much. You will become a broken record and start to annoy people. If you need to get it out of your system, try to journal about it. This will be easier if he is out of sight, out of mind.

If you see him, act accordingly…..

A dirty rotten cheater should be treated slightly different than a mutual breakup. The bad guy should be ignored and brushed aside. He needs to know that what he did was wrong. A guy who was nice, but not the right fit, can be treated more humanely. It is fine to wave hello and smile, but try to avoid being cornered and feeling awkward. 

Bottom Line….

Whether he was an awful person, or he just wasn’t the right fit, you should handle it basically the same. Overall, it is best to be discreet and classy. No need to slash tires or leave a psychotic note on his car. It is best long-term to take the high road. Make sure to set yourself up for success. It is better to mute him on Instagram and delete his number. Eliminate temptation in weak moments when you miss having a boyfriend, not him. Make sure there are no loose ends or the door cracked for him to come back if you are firm in your decision. There should be no confusion on how you feel and it is cruel to mess with his emotions.