As an adult, your friends dwindle as people move away or get married. It can get frustrating to maintain friendships and you can feel like a loser for not having a large group to go out with. As a kid I was the weirdo who would cling to one friend who showed me attention. However, this actually taught me how to be a loyal “ride or die” friend and to form deeper relationships with people. So if you find yourself with the friend and the back-up friend, it’s actually a good thing…here’s why….
You are more open to meeting new people…..
When you have a large circle, your social needs are fulfilled. It isn’t that enticing to go to a bar solo to meet new people. You feel very comfortable to bail on a new date with a stranger to hang with friends. Limiting your circle builds up your desire to explore opportunities with acquaintances.
You won’t have to celebrate too many birthdays….
Not that birthdays are bad. It can get a little overwhelming when you have to celebrate ten people’s birthdays through-out the year. The dinner and drinks and possible gifts can set you back financially.
You will have more inside jokes….
Instead of spreading yourself thin with multiple people, you may develop deeper relationships. This means inside jokes, memories, and a shoulder to lean on.
You get more “me time”….
Solo time is crucial for self-care. It is actually nice to carve out your own life and schedule. You can focus more on your side hustle and have fewer distractions
You can be more helpful….
There is only so much kindness that can go around in a day. Every once in a while a car will break down or someone will get dumped. You will be more present and have the time to be a good friend
Bottom Line….
When it comes to close friends, I have always lived by the rule to keep it small. As far as bar friends or people you see out you might have more motivation to expand and become more open to new things. A good friend is someone who is available for long chats and giggle fits. When you add too many people to the mix, you will get overwhelmed or feel you are all set in the social department. It can keep you in a comfort zone where you aren’t experiencing anything new or exciting. Lastly, it is completely normal to go from a huge group in your 20s to your last remaining friends in your 30s. I would see it as more of an opportunity than an obstacle.
Mostly Casual 