Rejection in person can leave you humiliated and can have lasting effects. It will cause you to not trust the next guy or want to put yourself out there. With the apps, it is hard to capture photos that make you look good without misleading someone. However, you will always look different in the flesh and it’s a big risk to trust that your date will find you attractive. I have had instances where I could tell they didn’t like my real-life appearance. Most did not call me out and took the kind way out, but one actually was scathing with his words. I am not cat-fishing in my app photos, by the way. I make sure to post current pics that showcase my face and body. Regardless….what can be done when you get the sting of the in-person rejection and preserve your dignity?…..
How to act in the moment….
When someone is rude to you, be rude back. I know in kindergarten it’s taught to take the high road and be sweet as pie to be “mature.” Throw that out the window and cut them down if they have hurt you. At least tell them to f*ck off. You will be kicking yourself later that you didn’t defend yourself. Just say it, you don’t have to go all out and splash a drink in their face. (Unless you are drinking a martini then, by God, do it!). Just be firm, quick, and tell them off.
Don’t immediately leave the location…..
Let him sweat it out. You can make him feel more uncomfortable by staying while you peacefully finish your drink. It is a power move to stay and continue to sit calmly versus running out of the bar crying.
Delete, block, unfollow….
Before you get too mad, immediately delete him or block. You will be tempted to give him a long sparing message when there is no point in that. It’s best to chop the head off and wash your hands with it.
What if you run into them again?…..
This is your moment to get a dose of sweet revenge. Make an effort to act confused at who they are if he approaches you. Pretend you have no idea who he is and gaslight him into thinking you never met before.
How to get back on the horse….
Listen…. It’s not easy to trust that it won’t happen again. You might need to take a breather if you were completely humiliated. It’s fine to delete the apps for a while and just be in-person. It’s completely natural to have the instinct to pull back and your ego is protecting you from harm. This is totally natural and you need to take a beat to collect yourself.
Try not to hide forever….
It’s tempting to just hide in your room and refuse to go out again. Try to lick your wounds and make an effort to go out once a week. Make sure your outfit, makeup, hair are looking polished. Network more with friends and go to more house parties and get-togethers. Consider if the apps are really working for you or against you.
Do a thirst trap….
Every once in a while a girl needs those fire emojis. Make it tasteful, but there is nothing wrong with getting guys to show you how hot you are. Even if it’s just digital.
Rejection in person from a stranger can feel like a slap in the face. Some men were not raised right and might have a few screws loose. The average person will not straight-up insult you. However, some may do it by doing an Irish goodbye or not showing up to the actual date. Back in the day, it would be people’s worst nightmare to do a blind date, yet every app date is a blind date. When you use app dating often it is bound to happen eventually that you will receive intense rejection. Make sure to stick up for yourself and throw out some insults, too. Cut him down and throw a drink in his face if you have the right glass….he deserves it. After that it is about preserving your dignity and recalibrating the game plan. Take a step back from the apps and think about how you are presenting yourself in person.You might need to consider stepping it up a bit. Either way, some men are just not emotionally intelligent and will be blunt.Wash your hands with it and don’t let that person mess up your game.