The Attraction Window For Early Courting

The greatest debate in dating…. When should you have sex? In building a relationship, dangling the carrot helps you in getting a guy to lock it down. Unfortunately, desire and attraction are not on your timetable. Now, especially in our fast-paced dating world, we get distracted by another shiny object faster than having patience in building a relationship. In a casual mindset, this question does not usually come up. With courting and getting into a solid relationship not based on sex, it becomes tricky. The worry is if you give it up too soon, you will land in a Netflix and chill universe forever. But if you wait too long, you get friend-zoned. I will say that when you really like a guy you will always feel better by not hooking up. There is a gray area where you are trying to build up desire while trying to communicate boundaries. What are some things to keep in mind in an early courting stage?….

Mindset matters….

You hear a lot about the girl who had the one-night stand and then now she is married to him with three kids. More than likely, he was ready for commitment and she happened to come along. It is important to listen when he tells you what stage he is currently in. Either way, it’s not advisable to hook up after knowing each other for two hours.

You might get the ick….

You are part of the equation, too. There is a reason why a lot of men are thrown into the friend zone or it never gets off the ground. Attraction has an expiration date for most women. If a man is taking his time and not keeping up with constant dates, it becomes an out-of-sight, out-of-mind situation.

You could be friend-zoned….

Without attraction, anticipation, and desire you could either be forgotten or friend-zoned. It is important to not treat dates as job interviews and keep it light fun and a dash of sexy.

When is the right time?….

The safest and most bulletproof answer is wait until you become an exclusive relationship. His decision will be made faster when there is true desire. The window can be a short window when he is super-attached and in a commitment mindset.

Chemistry and timing…..

In the show “How I Met Your Mother,” the character Robin explains to Ted that the most important thing in love is “chemistry and timing.” Unlike rom coms, he having to move to Nebraska for work might not prompt him to propose just to keep you. Timing and practicality usually override most romantic feelings.

Bottom Line….

The relationship window might be closing faster than you think. With the distraction of options from the apps, Instagram, and any other platform, it’s easier to friend-zone or simply ghost. The hookup should never be rushed; rather, create desire and anticipation. He being in a commitment mindset will help speed his decision along. However, timing and practicality could stand in the way and close the window for good. Getting friend-zoned usually means there is not enough chemistry and there is nothing to look forward to. Once there is natural chemistry you need to create an environment of desire and anticipation in a playful way.