Taking a dating pause is a great debate in dating. The fear is that taking a month off will result in you fumbling every new date and getting out of the loop. My rebuttal to not taking a break is: you only have one chance to make a good first impression. Taking a step back in dating usually means not being in your masculine and trying to make things happen. When you start to get close to burnout it is usually because you are the one putting in all the effort. The apps can suck the time out of your day. Consider deleting the apps for a period of time and see how much energy and time you were spending. What are things your should consider before you decide to take a dating hiatus?…..
Are your basic needs being met?….
In the pyramid of needs the base of the triangle (basic needs) need to be met. The next block up is a job, your own place, a circle of friends and anything that enriches your life. Some women will bypass the basics and fill the hole with a boyfriend thinking he will fix everything for her.
“When I lose ten pounds I will date”….
This is the biggest debate. Should you wait to date until you have lost weight and improved your appearance? My take is something in the middle, which is scale back dating and focus more on you. Having a tantrum while throwing dresses on your floor before a date needs to stop. Looking and feeling your best, plus your energy, is what is going to make a huge difference in a first date.
Friends should be a priority before dating….
Men come and go, but friends stick around. There will be a time when you are married with no friends. Take advantage of friendship and having people to go out with. If you have lost your core friend group to moving or marriage, then make it a priority to build up a new circle. Make friends through other friends, going out solo more, and try out Bumble BFF.
Your first conversation will be more interesting when you have things to talk about….
Interesting people do interesting things. Your “getting to know you” conversations will be less painful when you take a dating breather. Live your life! You can’t talk about other dates on a new date. Take stock in the last time you traveled or have been on a girls’ trip. Enrich your stories with fun concerts, traveling, and starting a new hobby.
Are your holding yourself back?….
Women are taught to always be open to love. Men are taught to get their life together first then settle down. Society is totally okay with you being unemployed and friendless, but still dating. Going on endless first dates can be a huge distraction to reaching your goals. Men would never drop everything to be with you or give up a great opportunity. Yet women would do so without thinking twice. Unless you feel 100 percent comfortable with your job, living situation, friend group, then scale back with dating.
You can’t have everything all at the same time. When there is no foundation the house will fall down. Over-dating can totally be a thing for people. You need to feel like you have things to talk about and a solid friend group to spend time with. A man will not come along and fix all your problems. Going on dates not feeling confident is like putting money in a broken vending machine. Your energy is what’s going to get you a second date. It’s totally fine to take a hiatus and focus on you. You’ll come back wiser, hotter, and have some amazing stories to tell.