If you have ever had a dramatic relationship, you know how exciting it can be to ride the rough seas. Some people are professional and stable at work, while at the same time slashing their ex-boyfriend’s tires. In matters of the heart, it’s easy to start fights, to be that psycho-ex, or to be crying to your friends about a bad date. In the eyes of men, they will view you as completely unstable and full of drama, all things that give them the upper hand and reason to dump you….
Why do you love drama?…..
A healthy relationship can seem boring – When you are used to fighting for a relationship it seems lackluster if there is no push pull.
You think passion equals love – Love portrayed in the movies teaches us that drama equals passion.
You love the chase – Winning is more appealing than a healthy relationship
Why are you the Drama Queen?…..
You live in fear –The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. Fear of the unknown holds many people back.
You get attention – You always have a crazy story to tell friends.
You get to confirm that you don’t deserve love – your brain loves a confirmation bias. You want to be right more than to be happy.
You are acting before you think – It’s so much better to take a minute and wait before you react.
You are surrounded by drama queens – If your friends are breaking in car windows and causing trouble, this behavior may seem normal to you.
You aren’t aware of your triggers – Go to therapy and figure out your issues with anger. Really get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do in relationships. It could be childhood trauma or something you repressed.
How to avoid dating drama…..
Find out if he is in a transition period – Did he just get evicted or have a messy breakup?
If he is telling a sob story on the first date, walk away – Users and people who want you on the hook play the sympathy card off the bat to draw you in.
Is he saying his ex girlfriend is a psycho? – He is more likely to be a crazy-maker than her just being crazy.
Is he over-stepping boundaries? – Have you set a boundary that he ignored?
Is he disrespecting your time and schedule?- texting you at 4am is rude, or blowing up your phone when you don’t answer a text.
Does he withhold affection or his time? – Everything is on his schedule and he withholds sex or affection.
What can you change?……
Take a intense exercise class – Maybe yoga doesn’t help…try kickboxing. Speaking of that, a gym membership that is open 24 hours is a great investment.
Are you on the wrong birth control? – Make sure you aren’t acting irrationally just because of hormones.
Talk to an understanding relative – They will always be on your side. Sometimes it’s nice to hear a voice that supports you.
Have your own apartment – Stay at your place for a few days and tell him you need your space.
If it’s still an issue, schedule a time to talk it out- It will always come off as more emotionally mature. Sometimes if you give it time, it’s not even an issue you care about anymore
Bottom Line….
The chase and drama is a thrill, until it becomes toxic. I do believe that there should be a little bit of a “does he like me or not” at the beginning. A smooth courtship from the start is not exciting. A dash of drama in healthy doses can spark more of an attraction. However, everyone can take this slight “will they are won’t they” situation into a full blown episode of “Cops.” If it’s keeping you from work or school, then it’s a problem. Like any addiction, when it takes over your life and you become obsessed, it’s a horrible sign. Go to therapy, join a gym, and get on the right birth control. Most importantly, try not to be so reactive in the moment and take space when needed. When he is clearly being the abuser or “crazy maker,” walk away and block him immediately.
Mostly Casual 