Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind: How To Stay Relevant as a Casual Guy

Men getting into casual, or the beginning of the courting phase, need to know the importance of being top-of-mind. It sounds super obvious to most, but men who grab your number and then text you a month later will be forgotten. This can happen with a friends-with-benefits situation when there is a huge gap in seeing each other. The absence can backfire and feelings can get hurt along the way. What can men do to remain relevant in a woman’s mind?…..

How often is too often?…..

We get it’s casual. However, dating is at warp speed and everyone gets distracted by the shinier and newer object. A man wanting a casual relationship can easily be replaced by someone else. It is important to keep up with your casual thing and see each other every other week or at minimum once a month. (Although that is pushing it). In a courting phase, you need to step it up more and spend more time and pursue.

Keep texting in between dates…..

It doesn’t have to be a daily thing, but a few texts here and there can keep the dynamic going. When you only text for her to come over, you are creating too much of a disconnect. You don’t need to talk about deep meaningful things. Keep things light, fun, and plan to hang out.

Create an illusion……

The greatest lovers make the person they are with at the time feel like they are the only one. Most women will dismiss you and not see a point in spending time when outside dates are brought up. Still be sexually safe, but oversharing can ruin the mood.

Make sure your place is presentable….

Women are picky about where they spend their time. 90-percent of women will only care about atmosphere when going to a bar or restaurant. They want to feel like a guest and be able to relax. Her not wanting to spend the night, or fleeing after two hours says a lot. Men usually get a pass on the state of their apartment (boys will be messy). It should not be the norm.

Unmatch her on the apps…..

Once you unmatch, you are a fish let out in the great pond again. She will come across your profile and the changes that you have made. This can be in your favor and spark jealously in her. Your face will be top of mind at that moment and it will stick around for a day or two. When you come across her, then text her. The algorithm probably showed both of you at the same time.

Keep posting on Instagram….

(You might be on mute, so she avoids this). Her curiously will peak when she sees you enjoying yourself without her. This works on everyone! You don’t have to do thirst traps, or show off dates ( that will backfire), but subtle pics of you out: a full glass of whiskey on the rocks at an unknown location, an appetizer with more than one plate. Or a photo of you with a wristband or a stamp from a bar.

Bottom Line…..

You are probably saying, “who cares, it’s casual! I should be more aloof!” I understand the mindset, but women have options and will forget about you. She might have really been into you, but got too much of a whiff of instability and looked elsewhere for it. No one wants to look like they care more in casual and in the early courting process. However, being strategic about being relevant in a woman’s life can extend the length of the relationship. The saying is true: out of sight, out of mind.