Sure, you can have as many public dates as you choose. Eventually, you will want to spend the night together or at least watch a TV series. Living situation is the driving force that forms any relationship, no matter how casual. One of the big rules to keeping it casual is: How convenient is it? When I am on a hot streak with dating, the first thing I put into consideration is…. where does he live? I do mean where does HE live. It’s important to be spending time at his place. Let him worry about cleaning up the mess and changing the sheets. On top of that it is a safety concern. You don’t want to let every casual guy know where he can find you if things go sour. However, most relationships without a convenient living situation and location cannot materialize.
Is it really casual if you are long distance?…..
Long distance = not easy for any type of relationship. For a casual thing, why are you bothering? Long distance is an hour away or more. I mean if this is a guy you see once a month when he is in town, then that’s totally fine. Think about how much you are investing just for something that won’t go anywhere.
Men need to consider location when they pick an apartment…..
Decisions at the 11th hour are made in haste. Thinking too hard about it will lead to just going home. An apartment that is walking distance from a bar is a smooth transition. The secret to having any company coming to your place is be in the right area. I remember living a little further from the downtown area and not having one friend who wanted to make the trek. Unless your goal is total solitude, consider living where there are bars, restaurants, and coffee shops within walking distance.
Don’t date Oscar The Grouch…..
Sure, not everyone can live in a Beverly Hills mansion. When safely is in question or you think you will catch a disease from using his toilet, do not return! Or better yet, leave without hooking up. Another no-no is him living in a cabin in a desolate remote area. Be safe and even share your location with a friend.
What are the perks of his place?…..
Maybe he has an apartment pool, a really nice espresso machine, or a stocked home bar. I am embarrassed to say that I have slept on many air mattresses. Don’t do this to yourself! More women need to put their foot down and not just go with whatever living situation is there. A bed frame and a clean apartment should be the bare minimum.
Roommates are a no-go…..
As you get older, discretion and privacy are the most important. Having all eyes and ears on you is humiliating and ruins the experience. You might not get to see him as often since he is catering to his roommates’ schedules. The only exception is having a large floor plan where bedrooms are further apart and he might even have a separate entrance and private bathroom.
Bottom Line…..
Location, Location, Location! Do you like going there and occasionally spending the night? Does he live in a good convenient area of town? If you are the one with the fabulous apartment, I would keep it under wraps. It can attract poor men who are looking for a living upgrade ( or worse case a new stalker). You also will fall into a pattern where you are going through the trouble of cleaning your apartment and kicking him out in the morning. It’s best to just come and go as you please and not have to worry. Travel time can add up to time you could have spent on another date. Before you get too involved, figure out his living situation; it will save you a lot of extra trouble.
Mostly Casual 