I stand by a man paying for a date; however, he needs to keep it in his budget. There are girls who have zero intention of going on a second date with a guy and who order the lobster and most expensive champagne. Not saying a woman doesn’t deserve a fancy date now and then. How can both parties feel they are investing without getting the short end of the stick?…..
A first date should be drinks…..
Sure, you can do coffee, but it does not produce a sexy environment. Dating is not a quick errand; it needs to be thought out. Getting a few drinks in a nice environment may give as much opportunity for chemistry as a candlelit dinner. This does not mean top shelf or the most expensive wine bar in town (unless it’s in his budget). Be fine with a bar with a pool table and cheap drinks. Nondrinkers should go with a reasonably priced lunch.
First date location can be a negotiation….
Go low so he can go high. When asked where you want the date to take place, think of a simple middle-of-the-road place that is affordable. He deciding to up the ante is his choice. Be considerate of his money, especially when he is student or not working at a fancy job. However, you still deserve to be treated, even if it’s over beer and a slice of pizza.
Just because he paid big bucks doesn’t mean he is in love with you…..
Men with money have the advantage of impressing a woman. It might be written off to an expense account. He views it as more of a business expense rather than getting to know you.
Try not to do dinner on a first date…..
When you are unsure about your feelings for a guy, turn down dinner. You never know if he will make you split the bill or Venmo you later. It’s too much pressure and there is nowhere to go but down. A first date needs to be two people getting to know each other in a relaxed environment. Again, sure…. every blue moon a fancy date can be accepted, but it’s not a habit to get into.
Make sure you are doing your part…..
Put away your phone, dress nicely for the occasion, and put on a smile. You can be present and ask questions for an hour even if you aren’t crazy about a person.
Don’t string him along….
It’s very unkind to eat the free lunch over and over and have zero interest. You are the reason guys like going Dutch nowadays. Offer to pay the tip and actually mean it.
Bottom Line…..
When two people are into each other and investing, then it’s all gravy. However, a lot of the time it’s an unbalanced dynamic that results in people getting used. Do women get used? Yes. But men can be taken advantage of from women as well, resulting in him being sour to the next girl and only going Dutch from here on out. A woman needs to feel a guy is investing, but a man needs to feel she is grateful and present. Not saying that the only date you deserve is a cheap fast-food drive-through. A first date should be reasonable and within his budget. Be fine with a middle-of-the-road place that is more relaxed, unless he wants to take you somewhere fancy. Still, try to not be caught up in all the free lunches, because there is no free lunch.
Mostly Casual 