I have never been cheated on to my knowledge, but I have been the “other woman” unknowingly. You have to keep in mind that a cheater has to lie to all parties involved. Once you do cheat and get away with it, you will feel suspicious of your own partner. Emotional cheating is the gray area of cheating. A laugh or smile from a person who isn’t your significant other can be devastating. Some women would rather a man just have the physical encounter, whereas men would feel emasculated when finding out his girlfriend slept with someone else. You have to keep in mind that cheating requires a lot of work. There are only so many hours in the day. If a man is living by himself and not with you the signs will be a little bit more subtle. The main thing to look out for is just a shift in vibe or habits. Some men have Excel spreadsheets and can juggle multiple women with ease. Yet, certain actions will be a little fishy and those are the signs you can pinpoint and investigate more. Let’s break down the signs…..
He is working out more…..
It seems odd that the couch-potato-video-game guy is now a gym rat
He is working late…..a lot…..
When you start cheating, you are creating a new life. Once you come home to explain where you have been, your go-to is work.
He hides his phone….
Some people are private in general with their phone. It’s mainly the attitude of being panicked around his phone or who is texting
He is projecting….
Once you realize how easy it is to cheat, it’s sort of a mind-f*ck. He might accuse you of cheating
He will start fights….
Weirdly, he still wants to be the good guy even though he is cheating. He wants the relationship to end in other ways, not him cheating
His mood will be different….
Something will be…..off. He might have guilt or fear he will be caught. Acting on edge and defensive will be common
Your friend comes across his dating profile….
He will probably deny that it is still active. This can happen after a big fight where he is dipping his toe in singleness, but has not cheated yet.
He has picked up new interests out of nowhere….
Suddenly he is obsessed with a new band or show. You have to wonder who introduced him to it. This can include sexual stuff. He might have a new move out of nowhere…again who introduced him to that. Any sexual change is a red flag even if more frequency seems like a positive thing
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The other woman…..
Sometimes you could be the other woman and not know. You have to look out for excuses that do not make sense. On the flip side, you knowing he is cheating with you does not mean he likes you more. You shouldn’t feel more important than his main squeeze. If you happen to be his next girlfriend, be on your toes; he cheated with you so obviously he doesn’t view cheating as bad.
The biggest clue you are the other woman…..
Simple things like just meeting up are always ignored or canceled. There could be a total drop off in communication and then it suddenly gets picked up again. It’s feels like pulling teeth to just hang out and it’s always on his timetable. He might claim he works a 9-5 so he is only available at 11pm. Or he is just a “night owl.” You feel he is interested, he is the first one to watch your stories, yet you are always confused why he doesn’t text more or want to meet up. It comes down to your gut feeling. Some guys who have girlfriends still like to flirt and get the ego stroked. He probably feels meeting will cross the line, yet digital stuff is fair game.
Bottom Line….
Women and men cheat differently, yet sometimes men can emotionally cheat as well. At the end of the day, needs are not being met. Maybe you have discussed problems with no solution. It’s always better to end things rather than cheat. It’s not fair to your partner. Plus the trauma of being cheated on will follow you and not let you trust anyone in the future. Leave your partner better than you found them.
Mostly Casual 