I am all about a time-saving hack, so it seems logical to get more bang for your buck with dates. Except…..that it is frowned upon when you do back-to-back dates. (Usually only the men are frowning though). I watched the episode of “Sex and the City” where Charlotte double books and horror ensues. It is a tricky social loop-de-loop with some dos and don’ts. How can you maximize your evening without being rude and blowing it with both men?
Don’t do a dinner or big time commitment……
Charlotte’s huge mistake was accepting a dinner date. Any date where you are stuck for hours is a no-go. You never know, the kitchen could be backed up or the head chef could get stabbed in the hand with a butcher knife. Stick to simple drinks or coffee and give yourself an hour or so with date number one.
Explain to date number one you have plans after…..
It’s kinder to give a date a head’s up so he doesn’t think you are dedicating your whole evening to him. Explain you will be meeting with a friend later on, but can still hang for a bit. It might be to your benefit to have a shorter date and seem busy.
The second date needs to be further away…..
The worst thing you can do is invite date number two to the same bar! At least go around the corner to a new bar or location. Your first date might circle back in or not leave. Wear an outfit that’s neutral so you don’t stand out; avoid loud patterns or colors. You want to blend in just in case he walks by.
Treat date number one as a warm-up……
Date number one should be the guy that is pretty low stakes. It’s more so a warm-up that leads you to being more relaxed with date number two. It can feel jarring to meet a stranger and you need time to get your nerves ironed out.
Bottom Line……
Think how much energy you will save by splitting your typical four-hour date in half. Speed- dating is nothing new and not a dating crime. Men don’t like it because you are beating the system. There is no reason to gloat and brag that you have to get to another date. Always say “friend” and try your best to go to a different location. Pace yourself with drinks and gracefully check your phone or set an alarm. Communicate before you meet that you have limited time, but don’t mind meeting up for a bit. Give yourself a grace period to get to the second location. When you end up on date number two you will be relaxed and not in robot interview mode.
Mostly Casual 