Passing Ships In The Night

Sometimes in casual dating it can get a little…..too casual. The “I’ll see ya, when I see ya” attitude can be light and fun, until it isn’t. It could be a chronic re-scheduler or someone you have never met. Should you keep giving it a shot, or not entertain such dynamics?……

Why is there no actual plan?……

Ask yourself this first. It isn’t hard to pick a time and place. Yet, the “meet up with you later” guy doesn’t seem to have a calendar.

Is there a deeper meaning?…..

It has an air-of-fate and meant-to-be, bringing out your romantic side. Never meeting means the fantasy lives on with no crash of reality. It is easier pushing it off until next time.

Why does he hit me up and never follow through?…..

The most likely case is that he is dating multiple people (or worse case…cheating) and picked someone else over you. Men typically like the idea of options, like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter.

Should you text him while you are out?…..

This is totally up to you. The downside could be just wasted time where you are staring at your phone all night and not being present. He probably will run out the clock and the cycle starts again next weekend.

Does the clock start at meeting?….

There is a school of thought that nothing matters until you actually meet in person. In reality, you can be rejected before a first date. Thinking someone is a catch starts with the first impression. Yes, things change once you see each other in person. However, it’s the same as an audition. A casting director might not even choose you for an audition because you didn’t make the cut.

Do you block, ignore, have a talk?…..

After a certain point, it does get frustrating. I would say, match his energy and pace. Store those nuts for the winter for yourself. Casual dating can move at warp speed at times. Circumstances do change when people break up, or have more free time. However, it’s nothing to hang your hat on. It’s best to be far removed from the emotion of it all. Go with your gut feeling and acknowledge how much you are agonizing.

Bottom Line……

On the scale of casual, this type of “dating” falls under waving at a co-worker in the hall. You have built him up in your mind and have adopted a someday mindset. When you look at any gray area dating as abundance and options, then great! There is the old chestnut of “if he wanted to, he would have.” Tangible dating should be more of a priority and a time waster should be put on the back burner. Decide if keeping his phone number is worth doing or a big distraction.