He isn’t your boyfriend….There, I said it. It is a sexy gray area where you have the intimacy, but no title or responsibility. Either way, do not give out boyfriend privileges to a friend-with- benefits (FWB). It’s never worth the effort and you will end up overextending yourself and feel resentment. What are the protocols to handling Christmas with your FWB?…..
No gifts!…..
He is already receiving the greatest gift of all…..sex with zero commitment. No baking him cookies or buying him a new tie…nada!
You won’t see him on Christmas…..
Unless his family lives in another country he will be with family. It’s up to you to send him a Merry Christmas text. Don’t have an agenda to the text, just send out a mass text to friends and family.
You might go Christmas shopping together…..
These are the folks who put the friends in friends-with-benefits. I do believe you should have a friendly dynamic and not just be bedroom buddies. So there might be some Christmas shopping and enjoying the hustle and bustle. I wouldn’t read into it too much because he probably just needs a female opinion on what to get his sister or mother.
Go ahead and cuddle….
The best part of a good friend-with-benefits involves cuddling and having a movie night while you make cocoa. Really soak in your time together because it’s rare that he will have so much free time.
Do not take him to parties……
Everyone will be confused and he might hit on your cute friend. Not what you were hoping for, right?
Still go on dates…..
Tis’ the season of cancellations. The holidays bring in a dry dating period. However, you still should prioritize new men who might take you seriously.
He might spend his Christmas bonus on a hot date……
Hopefully, you don’t discuss the inner details of your dating life. It might slip that he took a hot date to a fancy restaurant when he demands you and he go dutch. Make it a rule to not bring up other people while spending time together. Be sexually safe no matter what he tells you.
Bottom Line…..
Listen, your FWB can become instrumental in finding a great guy if you play it right. He can put the brakes on sexually so you don’t have a one night stand with Mr. Right. However, your FWB isn’t your boyfriend. He isn’t the guy you shower with gifts and nest with. Sure, you will have cozy nights that are very intimate. You have to compartmentalize your emotions and stay in the moment. Still meet new men if you get asked out; don’t cancel dates just because your FWB texted. Lay down a few ground rules where you don’t discuss other dates with each other (still wear condoms and be safe). Overall, lower your expectations and live in the moment. Put your generous energy toward friends and family. He should be treated like a nice vacation. You owe him nothing.
Mostly Casual 