I had an experience of wanting to date my neighbor. The apartment complex was a gloried dorm, young adults trying to make ends meet. We had outdoor beer-pong competitions in the shared lawn, and people socialized on the stoops while smoking cigarettes. It’s fun to have a neighbor crush… until it isn’t. Here are some pros and cons to having a thing for your neighbor. Should you even date him in the first place?……
The home-field advantage….
Living in close proximity can give you information you normally wouldn’t have on a crush you matched with on an app. You’ll know if he is a f*ckboy, hear passing gossip, and even get a chance to see how he keeps his apartment. All this can be gathered as data to play the long game.
You aren’t just a DM slide….
Meeting a guy in an organic way puts you miles ahead of the girls that slid into his DMs. He will view you as a real person with thoughts and feelings. It’s easier to remember a person you have met in person, rather than a picture in your phone.
You will know how he feels off the bat…
No more excuses to not make a quick visit to see you. It’s harder for him to lie and say he isn’t home. If he isn’t making moves to see you or spend time, you know where you stand. When your neighbor is smitten as a kitten, he will happily come over to hang out, invite you to meet more friends, and integrate you into his world quicker.
The confusing situationship….
You might see the “meet cute” as a fairy tale beginning leading to the altar. He might see how convenient it is to crash at your place at 2am and then walk home in the morning. If you do have romantic feelings, put up boundaries. Don’t be super available to him to just swing by at odd hours. You are going to have to do more defensive playing and holding yourself back. Still expect dates in public and say goodnight at the door.
Beware of obsession and drama….
Besides simply not being romantically interested, one reason he has not pursued you could be he is afraid things could get messy if it goes sour. What might start out as a fun fling could turn into a “fatal attraction” situation for him. He will picture you getting jealous of new girls he brings home while you are hiding in the bushes with binoculars. This is a scenario you should consider as well. He might turn out to be abusive and follow your every move. So, if he just makes the minimal effort to wave hello and never speak to you, he is probably thinking of the long-term consequence.
If you want a FWB, then go for it…..
Don’t lie to yourself and secretly want to turn him into a boyfriend. You have to be very removed from the emotion of him seeing other women. He might turn you down because he has a hot date. If you are A-OK with all that, it can be a nice benefit of living so close.
Bottom Line…..
Like dating a co-worker, you are opening up your personal life too soon. You might overthink how you look walking to the laundry building, and pray he never knocks on your door without makeup on. In certain cases, it could lead to a romantic meet-cute beginning, if you play your cards right and don’t turn it sexual off the bat. This is true with every dating scenario, but it’s harder to keep the mystery when he lives a few doors down. You will feel weakness, especially if he is pursuing you hard. However, if you are just interested in a FWB he might be your guy. You need to have thick skin, and be able to handle being brushed aside when a real date happens. He waving hello and not speaking to you is a guy who has thought though the worst-case scenario. He realizes living that close can complicate things. A simple break up can escalate quickly into a huge problem. Think about this before you get wrapped up in the obsession of a crush. Find out his character and background before you start playing the courting game.
Mostly Casual 