When using Bumble, the main pitfall is being only in masculine energy. It can be a snowball effect where you say hi, ask him out, become the social dictator, then get dumped for the mysterious girl. There have been changes to the app to help conversations from running dry. “The question game” helps with writers block and gets the wheels turning. How can we get dates from Bumble and stop ourselves from doing the heavy lifting?……
There is a pre-step to the first message and it’s the second glance. The nice thing about Bumble is if you swipe too fast, you get a second peak. Make sure they actually live in your city (not just travel mode). Read though the profile twice and see if there are any red flags you missed.
The first message….
Don’t spend your whole evening in a coffee shop crafting the perfect message. If you connect with something in the profile or the prompts, then jackpot! If you do not connect on anything, then send him a GIF. Don’t go vulgar, but don’t go too friendly either. We all have gotten the cat-waving GIF. Search for a GIF with a feminine character you like and see if there is a waving one. Keep the reference current, unless it’s a well known classic character. If he thinks you are cute and wanting to chat anyway, he will pick up the conversation.
See if he responds. Usually he will send a GIF back or a waving emoji. Treat it like a real life situation at a party. Go off his energy and let him lead. Sometimes a guy just wants to say hello back and that is all.
What should the conversation be about?…..Clever banter is the goal, but as long as there are questions and story- telling, then you are on the right track. Feel out the vibe and see if he wants to get to know you. Beware of sexual comments, or asking to exchange pics on Snapchat.
The question game….
The pre-made questions used to be only for the opening line. Now, at any point you can play “the question game.” The best part is that any party can initiate the game. It is nice to spice up a stale conversation or to jump topics. It is an extra tool in your belt in case you have brain freeze mid-conversation.
The 48-hour rule….
This is my rule with any app. In 48 hours he should at least suggest a date or work up to asking. Sure, some guys will take a week to get there, but they are not seeing your value. Not being concerned if someone else asked you out for the weekend, or if you will randomly unmatch him is a problem. There is a misconception that girls ask the guys out since it’s Bumble….No. Sure, you say hello, but beyond that you should not be doing all the work.
Still put your best foot forward with Bumble. Make sure your photos are classy and the prompts are normal. The big thing is to not to create a dynamic where he is the one receiving rather than pursuing when it should be the other way around. You should only be saying hi or ideally, asking a leading question. Make sure your profile helps men out with your prompts and photos. Have information he can grab onto and ask about. Stick to the 48-hour rule; it can save you some time. He needs to be thinking in a sales-minded, “this offer ends soon! Act now!” Don’t bee a busy bee, bee the queen bee!