Cuffing season is upon us….Limited options, difficult weather, and a craving to stay home factor into it. The holidays add a layer of pressure to men and women to bring someone home for dinner. Many Rom Coms have made the trope of buying a boyfriend for a day just to ease the mind of Great Aunt Mildred. On the positive side, this is the time that exclusive relationships can form. How do we know we are being cuffed, or used as another FWB?…..
What is “cuffing season”?…..
Cuffing season comes from being stuck together over the holiday season where there are limited options. It is easier to stick with one person and pursue a monogamous relationship.
Northern cities result in more cuffing…..
Snow equals no-go. Weather conditions factor into the practicality of relationships. It’s difficult to meet a stranger on an app when there is black ice on the road, or you are stuck in your blanket cocoon on the couch.
How can we start the cuffing process?…..
Start looking for eligible men (are employed, live alone, have transportation). You might have a summer lens on guys where you are looking for excitement or if he has access to a boat. Think stable guys with nice living arrangements.
Are they willing to be photographed?……
Making someone Instagram official comes from…well, photographs. Could be a fun Instagram reel of you at a pumpkin patch with your infinity scarf to a fall harvest market. Does he wince when there is a camera near him or does he post an Instagram story and tag you?
Yes, once the harsh weather hits there will be more indoor dates. At this point the more public the better. He should want to be seen with you and get mistaken for a couple. See how he responds if asked by a stranger if you are together. Does he downplay it, or ham it up for the audience?
Cool your jets….
Pacing is important in forming a real relationship. If he insists on rushing you to his place, see how he reacts if you decline.
Does he talk about other women?….
Anyone from exes to other dates is none of your business. If he insists you know about it, then it shows he sees you as just another date.
Beware the “we should” guy….
Some men know how to play the game. You might come across the “we should” guy from time to time. He tries to build trust by saying things like, “we should visit my mom in Denver this Christmas.” It can be a sign of strategic love-bombing or simple manipulation. Let him put his money where his mouth is.
Keep options open….
I always say it, but again, don’t cut off your resources. Until he brings up deleting the apps and being boyfriend / girlfriend, then keep going on dates with other men.
Hold out for the Netflix and Chill…..
Most men are simple creatures who just want someone around them. The thing I hear the most from guys is just wanting a cuddle buddy while they watch “The Great British Bake Off.” Let that be special and do not spoil him with doing that every date or too early on. You will never see the light of day or a restaurant if done too soon.
Intention can mean everything in dating. A cuffed mindset can help you snag a boyfriend, rather than being another hookup. If you are sure what type of guy you are looking for and you come across him, then be strategic and keep your eyes and ears open. Check the “looking for” tab on the apps and see what it says. Dismiss any guy that says or mentions casual (or the guys asking, “what are you looking for?”) He needs to have a relationship mindset himself before anything can be a done deal. Be in public for as much as the weather will allow. See how he refers to you to strangers and Instagram.