“I Am So Busy”…And Other Lies

There are a lot of women out there who claim to want 100 % honesty, saying she would rather hear a “yes” or “no” even after one date. As for me, I like to avoid pointless rejection. Self-awareness and looking for the signs make dating more humane. I don’t feel there needs to be a lot of over-correcting and explaining why a guy does not like you. He might not even know! Yet, knowing the implied “no thanks” helps to move on faster.

—Top Excuses He Can’t Hang Out—

“I am working”….

This is a classic. You can’t argue with work. Plus, it’s not like you are going to show up at his workplace to check on him ( I hope).

“My friend is in town”….

This excuse usually falls on a Saturday night. You might have had plans, then conveniently, his friend from out-of-town decided to visit. Does anyone have a spontaneous friend who shows up? Probably what happened is a girl he liked better became available.

“My phone died”….

Another classic. I feel this worked better ten-plus years ago. Our obsessions with our phones would never allow the battery to get to 15%.

” Just saw this message”…..

I mean if it’s on the apps, it could be true. Unless he does not have read-receipts on his phone, other ways to communicate will tell you.

“My roommate got locked out so I need to help him out”….

Any excuse that involves him being the hero will make you look like the bad person for wanting to hang out.

—-What are excuses he does not want to commit—-

“I need to focus on my career or school”….

A man will decide when he wants a girlfriend, versus a woman who will be willing to commit no matter what is happening in her life. He won’t seriously commit unless he is in a stable place in his career or financially.

“There is something missing”….

This is probably true. Chemistry is a real thing. But….probably the “something missing” is he does not see you as girlfriend material.

“I just got out of a relationship”…..

There are plenty of men who do back-to-back relationships. Most men don’t take a break in between exclusive relationships. Going on a solo trip in the woods to “find himself” rarely happens.

“I’m not ready for a relationship”….

With you….You might think you can just wait it out until he is ready. It means he is ok with hooking up, but doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.

Bottom Line…..

Yes, humans are complex and there might be uncertainty to a certain degree. And yes, he might actually be at work. I wouldn’t call a guy out for saying one time his friend is in town. Mainly, it is about consistency and a pattern. Is his phone always “dead”? Does he make an excuse and never reschedules? As far as he making a commitment, 9/10s it isn’t personal. He is trying to get to a good financial place or he just feels you wouldn’t fit into his world. Read between the lines and accept the polite “no thanks.”