Burn Out Part 2

Hitting a low point midweek makes us crave stimulation and validation from men. We might be swiping more, or reaching out to guys who have faded on us. At a certain point you will get swipe fatigue and dating exhaustion. When we fall into the rabbit hole of the apps, it can keep us from focusing on our friends, family, and hobbies. How can we shift our priorities and not crash and burn…..

Make a schedule…..

Have said it before, but a dating schedule is crucial. Figure out an actual time of day to delegate to swiping and chatting. Hide your apps in a hidden folder. You might notice a pattern when you feel low; you swipe until your thumbs are numb. Jot down in your notes what time of day that is to collect data. Are you crashing from caffeine at the time? Is it late at night and are you anxious?

Hang out with friends more than dates….

Remember your friends? Yeah, I am sure you have put them on the back burner. It’s time to reach out and see how they are doing. Put plans with your friends first even if a guy decides to text you last minute. Try not to complain the whole time about dating. Ask about how their school, work, and passion-project is going.

Scale back dates….

Just because you have been asked doesn’t mean you should accept. If you haven’t fully vetted him, it’s not worth the date. Most guys want the cheapest and easiest date for them. You deserve a nice date, not a McDonald’s drive-through.

Ignore, unfriend, unmatch…..

If he is coming in hot with being a sleaze bag, he isn’t going to take you on a nice date. He expects you to show up at his place at 2:00 am. He is a taker and you are a dime-a-dozen.

Try to talk to guys who are in a good place….

He will tell you if he is in a rough patch. When a man is in a great place, he is more likely to commit. You won’t have to put up with hot-and-cold behavior. Years will be wasted on this type of guy.

Get your priorities in check….

The reason you are feeling burnout is because you put dating first. You need to place it on the back burner before it burns you. The hours you spent swiping could have been used to work on your side hustle. I am willing to bet you love a dating distraction to keep yourself from reaching your goals.

Download a game…..

Dating apps are gamified to keep us coming back. It’s fun to swipe on guys and get that gratification when we get a match. You could instead download a game to play when you are hitting a slump in your day. It will pacify you until the feeling of boredom has passed.

Don’t resort to deleting the apps every other week….

Its tempting to want a fresh start. Yet, you will find the next day you will feel FOMO and want to re-download. The cycle will continue. Again, hide the apps in a folder and turn off your notifications.

Bottom Line….

Intentions and priorities are the tools that are going to prevent you from burnout. Society encourages women to put dating first, which results in most women being too distracted to ask for a promotion or work on a side hustle. Dating should be on your schedule and men should be heavily vetted. There are people in your life (friends, family, business partners) who should be higher up on the list. It’s not to say you should be a workaholic and ignore dating. There just needs to be a shift in perspective on what your focus should be.