I have spoken about the importance of a “pre-date” period of time to make a smooth transition into the date. It’s important to have a 40-minute buffer to use your phone, get a glass of wine to relax, and use the bathroom. But what if you are really nervous and you need to shake off that energy from the moment you wake up?
Get your expectations right….
Before you show up to the date, curb your enthusiasm. The phrase, ” love like you’ve never been hurt” should not apply to online dating. You need to be slightly on guard and get to know him in bite-size form. Take the date at face value and get into the present.
Limit your caffeine….
Coffee might not be your friend when your body is over-powered by adrenaline. If you are sensitive to caffeine, then make a point to have one small cup in the morning, then cut it off.
Take a walk….
Get your mood and mind right and go on a long stroll. Listen to a podcast and get fresh air.
Really give yourself time to try on outfits….
When the pressure is on to look good you might want to burn your entire closet to the ground. Give yourself plenty of time to try on multiple outfits. Anything that is rushed and causes stress is not the vibe you want leaving the house.
Make sure you have eaten….
Either grab something on the way or eat before you leave the house. Sometimes dates will be at a weird hour and you might not know if dinner will be involved. Never go into a date starving and needy. Once you get there you need to be relaxed and ready to chat.
Figure out your parking situation….
Parking at a two-hour meter can actually be helpful. It can be a great exit strategy. Time tends to slip away if you are having fun, yet it can also be a godsend if the date is super-awkward.
The hype playlist….
You can make a playlist to get yourself in a good mood. Studies have shown that music will boost your mood if the right songs are played. Bring your headphones and listen to a song or two that you know makes you want to dance. Stay away from sad music or anything too zen.
The drink or two….
I have said that if you need it, go ahead and get that glass of wine to relax. Limit yourself to one so you don’t overdo it. It’s just meant to get you relaxed and in a controlled state. You can also drink a relaxing tea; just avoid coffee.
Be careful who you text….
It’s fine to discuss your upcoming date with friends maybe a few days before. Right before the date you never know what a friend might say. (A snarky “good luck” might put you in a weird head space.) Limit who you speak to and only respond to urgent matters, then turn your phone on silent.
Do not swipe on the apps or respond to messages…..
It’s not good form to go down that rabbit hole. Turn off notifications for Tinder and Snapchat before you leave the house. You need to get in the zone with the guy you are actually meeting.
The last check….
Do your last check in the bathroom mirror to make sure your makeup is not smeared and your hair looks right. Have mints in your purse and travel perfume.
Bottom Line….
It’s all about the details that can set you up for success. A date should be a fun and relaxing experience. It’s easier to pick up on vibes when you are calm and in the present moment. If you get in a good mood earlier in the day, then it will carry over to the evening date. Limit your caffeine and boost your mood by taking a long walk to shake off the nervous energy. Remind yourself that it’s just a date with the only goal to have a great conversation and stay in the present.
Mostly Casual 