A crush is called that for a reason…it’s crushing. Most of the time, we are prolonging the pain by putting the person in our face more than we need to. If you are trying to get over a crush, the best method is to disappear for as long as possible. I went thought this recently. My crush got a new girlfriend and paraded her around me. I mean…to be fair, he didn’t know I was going to be there. Anywho… any celebrity scandal is handled by hiding out and not making waves. Before you know it, you are over to the next drama and the sticky situation is forgotten. But how can you really go dark and preserve your emotional well-being? Here are a few don’ts to keep in mind if you are already in a spiral….
Don’t orbit him….
You can mute, block, unfollow, unsubscribe. Yes, you might fear this is showing your cards. Just think about your own well-being, not about upsetting a person who cares very little about how you feel. Out of sight, out of mind, is a true statement. You will be less tempted to send out that DM that he will leave on “seen.”
Don’t go where he will be….
You probably know his patterns, or where he will show up. It’s not a coincidence that you bumped into him. Resist starting drama by showing up there. If you get invited to a party or social gathering that he will be at, decline.
Don’t talk about him….
Your friends might be curious how you are and it does feel good to express how you feel and vent. After a certain point, you need to stop bringing him up. If friends ask about him, just say you want to move on and not talk about him anymore.
Don’t stalk his new girlfriend or talk shit about her….
Listen…he made his choice because he felt she was a better fit. She might be prettier, uglier, shorter, taller, than you…who cares? The flip side is not to be super-weird and try to befriend her and mean-girl her.
Don’t wallow too long….
Take a weekend off to do self-care. After you eat the pint of ice cream, accept dates again. However, keep the dates very toned-down with no agenda. Just meet new people and have light conversations.
Don’t go out all the time….
Now is not the time to fill the void with being overly social. Keep things low-key. You don’t want to be reckless and make poor decisions. Keep yourself busy with work or a passion project.
Don’t over-swipe….
As far as Tinder, stop swiping like a lunatic. Do the opposite and practice actually saying no to dates. It’s very empowering to decline a date that doesn’t suit you.
Don’t revenge date….
You aren’t going to show him how loved you are by how many dates you get. He doesn’t care. Never bring dates to a place where you know he will be. You will feel a wave of snubness, then a swift fade of regret when you see him literally not giving a rat’s ass.
Don’t waste your youth….
Listen… it sucks to be rejected. Maybe the saga of liking him lasted for months. He made his decision that you were not the right match. Life flies by fast. Do you want to spend it analyzing why a guy didn’t like you, or meet a better guy who cares about you?
Bottom Line…..
When you disappear you aren’t trying to get revenge, or trying to stick it to the person. Accept that he hurt you and now you need to put up walls to protect yourself. The quicker he is out of sight, the faster you can heal and move forward. Life moves on without you and that is actually a gift. What might seem unbearable at the moment will pass quicker than expected as long as you don’t allow it in your orbit.
Mostly Casual 