Mixed Signals

Consistency is the biggest sign a guy likes you. Most signals get crossed when it’s an unbalanced dynamic. If it’s a situationship or very casual, you will probably be confused. Some casual relationships can feel like a real thing. You might meet friends or even family! If you hate analyzing text messages, then getting into anything murky might not be in your best interest. Mixed signals keep you on the hook and can drag you along in a relationship for way too long. What are some common mixed signals to look out for?…..

Are there really mixed signals or is it a long way to say no?…..

I don’t believe in mixed signals. To avoid a lot of drama and stress, just assume mixed signals mean he isn’t into you. Sure, there are gray areas like he is a commitaphobe. However, you need to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt. If you are brave enough to send out that text or DM, so can he.

He texts you inconsistently….

Consistency is a huge sign he wants to be a part of your life. You should be hearing from him often and he should be planning the next date or figuring out when he can see you. If he texts randomly at 11pm, it’s a bad sign. If he isn’t worried that you could be snatched up by another guy, then he isn’t afraid to lose you.

He acts excited to see you through text…then you show up and he acts bored….

All of a sudden, he begs you to come over. You finally throw on some clothes and eyeliner and show up. Then he acts bored and distracted and pays little attention to you. In this case, he probably wanted a quick hook up and you overstayed your welcome or his original plans fell though so he reached out to you.

Were you the leader of the relationship….

If you are the one texting and keeping up communication, then you will be excited he is answering at all. You may notice that he does not text you and I would test this by pulling back. Men don’t always have the energy to chase women; when a free meal comes his way, he will take it. However, when pressed to commit he will eventually drop the ball.

Mixed signals are people only noticing the positive things and ignoring the glaring negative signs….

If you are super into a guy and the pursuer, then you will take any win. You will jump up and down when he returns a text after three days of ignoring you. You view things in black-and-white, “well…he didn’t block me or tell me to stop texting.” It’s much easier to just answer rather than putting up resistance and starting a fight.

Men can compartmentalize…

A man lives in a gray scale with women. One might be the cool chick he takes to concerts, another might be the fun party girl, and there is always the good-listener girl whom he can count on when he is bummed.

Is he fresh out of a break up, did he just get evicted, or anything dramatic?….

He can name any excuse and women’s heartstrings will be pulled. If he is in a rough patch, he can always use that as an excuse to pick and choose what he wants to do. If it gets to be too much, he has a built-in excuse that he is not ready. He is just wanting you on his timetable while he is still looking.

He asked you on a date, then he flaked….

Any sort of change of plans is a warning sign. Even if it’s delayed an hour. It shows he is regretful he set up the date, but doesn’t want to be the bad guy by calling off the date completely. Most recently I had a date “run out the clock.” He kept saying he was stuck in traffic, then he was hungry, and so on. I had to be the one to call it off after he stood me up.

Bottom Line….

Sit back and see how often he is trying to contact you. This is why it’s best to leave the date-planning up to him. He needs to making a clear effort. Inconsistency is usually a “no” in the long term. He might be going hot and cold with you because he can’t hang out with his original girl. See what time of day he wants to hang out and how many days he asks to plan a date. You have to look at his actions from a logical standpoint. He could do one nice thing and then the rest of the time he treats you like an after- thought. Look at the whole picture, not the rare positive gestures.