Dry spells and hot streaks will happen in the dating world. It can depend on exterior facts such as holidays, the weather, and the school season. The saying “when it rains it pours” is because the energy is flowing in a positive direction. However, we can put up blocks unknowingly to prevent quality dates or dates at all…..
What do you do when no one is reaching out to you?…..
Use this time to edit and reflect- Go though your dating app and just edit! I call this “throwing the fish back in the water.” Get rid of guys who haven’t asked you on a date or suggested meeting. Reflect on what your goals are. Do you want to be more selective, or do you want to go on dates just to get the ball rolling?
Send out a thirst trap- Did you just get your makeup done or get a new hair cut? Show it off! Keep it classy–no trashy pics. I have noticed whenever I post a story on Snapchat it opens up the dialogue to guys who normally don’t reach out.
Change up your routine- Stop having the same day expecting different results. Try a new coffee shop across town. Say yes more often to plans with friends.
Think about what you tend to wear on dates- My last date I got real lazy: sneakers, leggings, my hair in a bun. It resulted in him scrolling his phone. If you aren’t taking the date seriously, he will pick up on that vibe. How you show up sets the tone.
Practice flirting- If you always like to go deep and talk about childhood trauma, pull back. Practice keeping conversations light and surface levels with any new person. Don’t go in with an agenda by staying present and engaged.
Slow periods are affected by the weather…..
Wintertime is the slow season and summer is the high season. When the weather warms up you are more likely to be asked on dates. It’s a good time to see what’s out there and not be tied to one guy. You might want to explore a summer fling.
Holidays will be a slow season….
Holidays will be slow and it ties in to winter being slow since there are so many holidays. Scheduling will be difficult because he will have family obligations. Most holidays in the warmer months are not family oriented. However, he might pick friends to spend them with.
Are you putting out masculine energy?….
Maybe you sending the first message to every guy you match with. When we get frustrated that things aren’t working, we switch into fixer mode and try to be active and pursue. The problem is now the men shift to passive energy. He will feel less urgency to move things forward.
What to do in a hot streak…..
When things are popping off then take advantage. When you re-download Tinder the best matches will come up again. This is a great time to audition dates and not get too invested. See which guy is wanting to move things forward.
Try not to complain when in a dry spell….
Don’t count the months and mark down your calendar. Sometimes you actually need a break and it just happens naturally. Prevent yourself from burnout and swipe fatigue by resting more and letting it fall to the wayside. This is a good time to focus on friends, hobbies, or work.
Manifest and think about who you actually want to attract….
We tend to get into patterns with dating and the ego loves the familiar. Write down the qualities you are looking for and what values and ethics are important. Try to keep it brief and narrow down to the core values you are looking for. You can even make a vision board so your subconscious will hunt for your type on the apps. Cut out pics of celebrity guys you swoon over and put it in your love corner (if you are following feng shui) or at least keep it in your line of vision.
Bottom Line…..
Rarely is there an even flow of dates. When it rains it pours, or it’s as dry as a desert. It can depend on the time of the year, holidays, or even the school season. The important thing is to not have a scarcity mindset. Know that dating ebbs and flows. Usually, it is outside circumstances that is not in your control. Try your best not to go into fixer mode by reaching out to every guy you match with. Energetic shifts can make a big impact on turning a dry spell into a hot streak.
Mostly Casual 