“Roses are red, violets are blue; if he’s busy on Valentine’s Day, the side-chick is you”
In “The Rules” book, it is discussed how an exclusive boyfriend treats you on this holiday. Valentine’s Day is a huge test of how he sees you. What type of gift, if any, does he give you? Receiving a non-romantic gift (car wax, a gift certificate to Walmart, free soap from a La Quinta Inn), warrants a dumping
Are gifts really a requirement?…..
Impressing you should be the goal, even when its early on. Obviously, he doesn’t need to spend money on a new designer bag, although something thoughtful should be required. A romantic gift that doesn’t break the bank is a romantic poem, writing a song about you, or a handwritten letter. However, understand that guys don’t want to go big early on because a woman will resent the lackluster effort later. All women care about is effort and quality time. The classic gifts are roses, jewelry, chocolates, a bottle of Champagne, or a nice bottle of perfume.
Is he spending time with you?…..
Some men will fix problems with money. He might mail you an expensive gift and say he is busy on the day. He needs to take you out to dinner or make a meal at home. It needs to be thought out. Quality time needs to be spent; he can’t ignore you or be scrolling on his phone the whole night. I worked at a hotel a few years back and was shocked at the effort that was made. Rose petals on the bed, champagne, candles. Yes, men are capable of this.
What if the holiday isn’t a part of his religion or culture?….
You might be dating a man from another country or religion who has never celebrated Valentine’s Day. Still, it means something to YOU. He needs to adapt and make you feel special; he should not make you feel left out. My ex-, as a Jehovah’s Witness, loved using this excuse. My birthday, Christmas to meet my family, Valentine’s Day….”sorry, Babe, it’s against my religion,” when he wasn’t involved in the church anymore.
What if he tells you to do a “Galentines or Palentine’s Day”?….
There is nothing wrong with spending time with your girlfriends or friends on the holiday. If he suggests it….yea, not great. He should be planning something, no matter how small, and frankly be excited. Shuffling you off to other people screams he doesn’t want the responsibility of being a boyfriend.
What if he is actually busy on Valentine’s Day?….
He can still send you flowers at your work, or your home, then celebrate when he is available. He needs to figure out the schedule and still make it special
What if you literally started dating?….
If you are exclusive, even if you became that a week ago, there still needs to be a plan. Exclusive / official means he is your boyfriend, and boyfriends make Valentine’s Day special….period.
What if you are sexually exclusive, but not official?….
Stop being sexually exclusive without him being your boyfriend! There is literally no point to that. Otherwise, he will not act like a boyfriend and bring you roses or make an effort to make you feel special. Do not expect anything except a late-night booty call.
So yes, you can’t expect to be swept off your feet by the guy you are casually seeing on Valentine’s Day. In fact you probably won’t receive a text. However, your exclusive boyfriend needs to step it up! Why be with him if he isn’t acting like a boyfriend? Holidays bring out the true feelings of men. It’s not that he is forgetful–it’s very intentional that he does nothing for you on Valentine’s. You should not remind him of the day or be the planner. Quality time needs to happen because that is more important than fancy gifts. Dump him if you receive no gift or effort.