Users/Abusers/Losers

Toxic men are the worst men to date. These type of men can cost you financially, emotionally, and sometimes, physically. It can cause a lot of trauma and might force you to take a long pause from dating. When you decide to date again there will be a dark cloud of doubt that the next guy will be trustworthy.

Why do women date toxic men?…

A lot of toxic men will be highly aggressive and will not respect boundaries, meaning, for example, that he can eventually wear a woman down to date him. This, combined with a woman being judged for remaining single, may result in a relationship with a toxic man. This is just one way it happens. It can also come from codependency or having low self-esteem.

What are signs that he is toxic?…

  1. Addicted to drugs or alcohol – His bad habits are keeping him from getting a job or finishing school.
  2. Gaslighting – ” The sky is green, not blue”
  3. High expectations for you, but not for himself- He is extremely hard on you, but very relaxed about his own life.
  4. Lying – Even little white lies can build up.
  5. Doesn’t care about your boundaries – Whether it’s sexual or basic ones.
  6. He calls you names – He will call you a bitch or crazy at every argument.
  7. He makes you feel ugly – He makes fun of your new haircut or new outfit.
  8. He compares you to his ex – He always manages to mention her in every conversation
  9. He is controlling – You going out with your girlfriends is always a fight.
  10. He withholds sex from you – He uses sex to control you and loves to turn you down.
  11. He is trying to keep you from the outside world- He might convince you that all your friends hate you, or that your family is embarrassing. He is trying to cut you off from the outside world.

Never let him “borrow” money…..

He will always try to get money out of you. He might ask you if you can cover the bills until he can pay you back. Before you know it, he owes you over a $1000 that you will never see again.

Don’t let him rush into things….

Toxic men love to lock things down sooner than later. This is not out of love; it’s for ulterior motives. He might need a place to live because he is getting evicted. If things seem like they are moving too fast, they are. He is making it harder for you to cut ties with him.

You attract what you put out….

If you are in a low point, then you are a target for con men. I know that sounds dramatic, but it happens more than you think. There is a reason why desperate people get swept up in giving their life savings to a Nigerian prince.

Bottom Line….

Toxic men will make it difficult for you to see his intentions. I would never advise revealing the details of your job to a man on a first date or on an app. Be very vague and make it sound like you don’t make money. You might think you should be bragging about your job to impress him. However, it only tends to attract users. Really check in with how he is making you feel. A good man will be constantly complimenting you and making you feel sexy; he also respects your needs and boundaries. If you are feeling upset or uneasy whenever you are around him, trust your gut and cut ties.