Déjà Vu Chat

One of my favorite things about dating apps is that you always have multiple chances to make a good first impression. Since it’s pretty common to continuously delete and re-activate the accounts, it’s common to come across the same people. With a few updated pics, who’s to know you had already spoken. This is a great opportunity to do a sort of “Groundhog Day” situation with matches. If you see the guy you chatted with a while back and are still interested in, make a few tweaks and then swipe right. 90% of the time he will unknowingly introduce himself again and you can completely wipe the slate clean….

Make a new profile…

Maybe go by your nickname instead of your full name.

There is a formula to having great photos….

Try your best to include photos of just you. You don’t want confusion of who you are in the photos. Avoid super-faraway shots. You are telling a story and painting your overall vibe.

First photo: great headshot; second photo: full body shot; third photo: travel; fourth photo: wild card (silly, in costume, etc)

If you are on Tinder, the bio isn’t super important so don’t sweat it…

Honestly, just putting something random that’s fun and positive is best. Think of it like a tagline. You can also do a “call to action,” meaning you can ask where the best (dumplings, tacos, cocktails ) are.

Leave out the details…

There is no need to link your Instagram or Spotify or tell where you work or where you went to school. You are giving out too much information. Worst case, the men you don’t want to date can track you down.

DO NOT answer with a simple “good, how are you?”….

Try to keep it interesting. This is your opportunity to redeem yourself. Make more of an effort to spark a connection. Speak in stories (positive) about yourself, not just reporting back that you eat garlic bread. Most men are setting you up with prompts that you need to pick up on. Speak in feelings, not facts.

Don’t reveal that you matched before….

If he noticed you are the same person, you can pretend you forgot and say it’s possible you matched a while back. It’s best to move forward from the questions and just make a better impression.

Timing can be your friend….

Maybe the first go around he was in a semi – relationship. Now he is more open to meeting and getting to know you.

You might not get another shot….

You get two chances. I mean sure, you could get away with three if years have passed. If the third strike has happened, make a point to not swipe right on him ever again. Don’t be discouraged if you already gave it a second shot and nothing came from it.

This situation only works if you have not met in person yet….

Don’t think you can go on a bad date and then trick him into going out again. This only works in the virtual world.

Let him message you first….

This is important. Just sit back and see if he reaches out.

Bottom Line….

Sometimes, he just won’t be interested, period. Other times, it could be he was in a different head space. However, you need to throw in the towel eventually. Three strikes and you are out. The worst you can do is reveal that you matched with him again. It needs to seem like you didn’t even notice. Think of it like you discovered a time machine. What would you say? How would you act if you had one more shot? This does not mean you need to pursue. It’s mainly presenting yourself in a different light. Regardless of it working better the second time around, you will probably attract other guys with a better attitude and presentation.