Is Your Casual Thing Casual Enough?

Going on dates with strangers gets tiring. When you finally meet that guy you actually like, you feel a sense of relief. You decide you want him to be a casual thing, so you figure there are no rules. You text him, sleep over, and leave your hoodie over at his place. Because it’s not going to be serious, so who cares….right?

Every type of relationship whether it’s casual or serious should be treated the same….

Both should be proceeded with caution. Casual does not mean relaxed, with no rules or boundaries. When you end up relaxing and assuming things, that’s the moment he stops texting.

Other things to not assume in a casual relationship….

  1. He isn’t going to come to your event – If you have an art show, important speech, or piano recital, he won’t come to it. So don’t ask him.
  2. Sleeping over should not be expected – Sure, you might want to stay over if it’s super late, but it should not become a habit.
  3. He is probably also dating multiple people – If you come across him on Tinder, he is going on dates.

The three-month mark will probably be the end…..

Again, in casual, most women get way too relaxed and start leaving tampons over at his place. She assumes she will always be able to show up and hang out. Then all of a sudden, when the three- month mark hits, he doesn’t return texts and is suddenly “busy with work.”

He still needs to pay for things….

You need to be treated as a guest. If you meet at a bar, he needs to pick up the tab. If he orders take- out, he needs to sign the receipt and not expect you to pitch in.

Never beg to hang out….

This is when the casual attitude comes in. If he cancels or can’t hang out, you need to chill. Starting a fight or begging to come over is not a good look. Even if you are pissed he broke plans last minute, you need to act like you don’t care. Simply say, “Ok, some other time.” Also make it a point not be available all the time. You need to be busy and be spending your time on new dates and your friends. Never break your plans to hang out. It’s best to be pursued in every dating situation, no matter how casual.

It’s best to keep it spontaneous…

Having a casual situationship will always get confusing. If you want to have a casual thing, then keep it really random when you see each other. Once you start getting into a routine it will become this gray relationship. You will want things to progress into something. Casual should be easy-breezy beautiful. These types of dynamics work best with a guy who doesn’t live in your town.

Bottom Line….

Expectations ruin a casual relationship. Most women assume more time spent will result in a serious thing. It’s best to always think the opposite of that. Less time spent results in a better power balance. The saying is true that whoever cares the least, wins. When you feel settled, it feels natural to relax and not accept new dates. You enjoy sleeping over and watching Netflix. Then boom….you haven’t heard from him in a week. Don’t assume he is your friend or your boyfriend. This is why the term “friends with benefits” is misleading. A better term I like to use is “casual thing.” Even if you have multiple casual relationships, it doesn’t mean they will all be available to you. You have to expect to go home early some nights. Never beg to hang out. Act like seeing him isn’t a huge priority.