The Half-Way Guy: Aka the Timewaster

“The Half-Way Guy” wants everything to be easy for him. The tell-tale signs are convincing you to travel to his part of town and wanting to split the check. You will most likely find this dude on Bumble because he can sit back and let the girl do everything. Dates are always on his time. He will dip his toe and have the other foot out. In the book, “The Rules,” it talks about this type of guy. He is in the category of the “time-waster”. You never really understand why he says yes to a date at all. Most of his behavior cannot be explained other than he probably is bored or uses dating as a hobby…..

What are some signs you are on a date with a half-way guy?….

  1. He didn’t make the first move – He might not even have the energy to send the first message.
  2. He will blow you off, then suddenly demand to see you – If you suggest a time or place, he will turn you down. Then, suddenly, at the last minute he will beg to meet up.
  3. He will not buy you a drink or a coffee – You will stand awkwardly at the coffee counter and have to pull out your wallet.
  4. He asks you to come meet him half-way or in his part of town – He will not want to go out of his way.
  5. If he does travel for you, he insists you come to him next time – You can tell he really wanted to just sit on his couch and have you come to him. Yet he begrudgingly came anyway.
  6. He gives you zero compliments – You just spent an hour finding an outfit and you might as well have shown up in sweats and no makeup.
  7. He doesn’t ask you questions – You will notice that you are only talking about him.

Why is this type of guy a problem?….

First of all, this date will not be fun to go on. There won’t be an effort on his end. You might start to feel insecure and take his lack of interest personally. I went on a date back in the OK Cupid days. I showed up at a Gyro spot in town. I realized I had forgotten to put my wallet in my purse before I left the house. He ended up rolling his eyes, ripping out a coupon from his wallet, and shaming me in front of the cashier, making a huge production about having to pay for me. After we went to a picnic table nearby, he saw an old friend. I waited while eating my cold gyro. He never came back to the table and I was left alone.

Should you even go on the date in the first place?….

In my experience, if a guy ignores you or cancels dates and then suddenly begs you to come out, it’s for selfish reasons. It’s not because he wants to actually meet you. It’s probably that he doesn’t want to eat lunch alone or is bored. You will show up and be inconvenienced and then he will act bored when you get there. Don’t go out of your way to meet this guy. He is not worth leaving the house for, trust me.

What if you do go anyway?…

Be prepared to be underwhelmed. He will make no effort to make you feel special. Again, he won’t even offer you a drink or buy your coffee. This sets up an awkward tone and vibe. Keep the date super-short. Just buy yourself another drink, then head out. Unmatch him right after. Do not give him another chance. This is infuriating because you spent the time to get ready, picked out an outfit, and put makeup on while he completely disrespects your time and effort.

“Was it my fault he wasn’t making an effort”?…..

If you are the one reaching out first, or striking up a conversation in the real world, it attracts this type of guy. Some guys like it easy and lean back to let the woman do all the work. He was hoping that you were going to be ok with going dutch and driving to his part of town. He might be exhausted by chasing down the girls he actually wants to date. He just wants a night to not make an effort.

Unmatch, remove friend, move on….

This type of guy is a good lesson and makes you appreciate a guy who really wants to impress you. Once you recognize this type of man he is easy to avoid. There is something to be said about planning a date in advance. He needs to look forward to it and keep up with you. Anything last minute is a bad sign. After the date, you will feel like he stole an hour from your life, especially if you don’t even get a free drink or a cheap cup of coffee!

Bottom Line….

The date will feel like you are on a boring job interview. He has little interest in your life or how you look. His motivation is just him having a human to talk to because he was bored. The worst part is you will get nothing out of the date. When I left the date with the Gyro guy I was super-embarrassed and felt stupid for showing up at all. Avoid an awkward date by observing his behavior from the start. See how much effort he actually is making. Try to avoid making the first move and the second move….and so on. Don’t accept dates that are only on his schedule and part of town.