Ahh, yes, the story of how you met. You want that romantic tale of how you locked eyes across the room and just knew he was the one. It’s a story you want to tell your future kids and a lesson to teach about seizing the moment–“your mother didn’t even want to go to the party…” It becomes a metaphor about believing in love and how it can appear out of nowhere. So what if you don’t have a romantic story? What if you just met on Tinder?
What is a “meet cute”?….
The meet cute is when two people are brought together by romantic or unusual circumstances. Just about any romantic comedy movie will involve this trope.
Are we putting too much emphasis on the meet cute?…
A year ago, I met this guy at a party and we ended up talking all night. We met in the wild, in person, no apps. It was a total organic experience that is very rare these days. A week later, I ran into him again. Because of the experience of how we had met, I put a huge emphasis that it must be “meant to be.” It ended in the most anti – climatic way by… never going anywhere. If this were just a regular Tinder date I would not have thought about it twice. What I didn’t take into account was that he didn’t use apps. He met people this way all the time. It wasn’t a special experience, just another typical Friday night.
The meet cute is just to impress other people….
The story of how you met only really matters in a social situation. It is nice to have a romantic beginning instead of saying you met on an app. If someone is asking how you met, it’s just out of politeness, not true interest.
Stop holding on for the story….
Everyone wants that romantic story. You picture it coming up in your vows at the wedding, but meeting in a cute way doesn’t mean the entire relationship will be romantic or even form into anything. It’s just a cute meeting. That’s it.
“Fate brought us together”….
Meeting someone in a romantic way will bring out what I call “mystical thinking.” You will say to yourself that the relationship is meant to be because you were both at Whole Foods at the same time. You have to remember that most of life is totally random and mainly a coincidence. It’s not wise to base a fantasy relationship on a random situation.
Yes, it’s fun to daydream about, it makes a great story, but it’s not a reflection of how the relationship will go. Since everyone is meeting on apps, the romantic story is even more important to people. What might be magical and rare to you could be an everyday occurrence to him. You will put extra meaning into the interaction. I have had terrible relationships that started as romantic encounters. What’s important is the relationship as a whole. Are you being treated right, do you like him, and so on. The next time you meet a guy reaching for the same loaf of bread remember that the universe is random and most things are a coincidence.