You have pursued your major, your career, and your hobbies. Determination and drive are important things to have in life; it got you to where you are today. That’s why it’s so frustrating when YOU try to get a relationship off the ground and it always backfires….why?….
“I gave him my number and he never called, WTF”?….
Yea… this has happened to me. There was this gorgeous guy who was a barista at a coffee shop where I used to go a year ago. He always made a point to talk to me. So after the fourth time of this, I bravely wrote my number down on a napkin (old school). Guess what? He never texted. When I went in the next week, he completely ignored me. Let’s just say it didn’t feel great.
If it’s not his idea, it won’t happen…
This is frustrating because he might agree to go out, but at the last minute he will cancel. It’s usually because the girl he really wanted to get together with became available.
So what the hell can you do?…
Tap into your feminine energy – It’s in our nature to receive instead of pursue.
Stay busy– You might not be inclined to pursue that guy if you are busy with hobbies.
Meditate and do yoga – Sometimes, you just need to pause. A lot of our aggressive energy can come from anxiety.
“Am I a bad feminist if I don’t ask a guy out?” …
Not at all! Honestly, feminism in a dating situation can be used against you. A guy might make you pay for yourself and not go out of his way to impress you. You should be treated BETTER in dating, not equally.
“Is starting a conversation pursuing?” ….
So, I feel it really depends. Sometimes, you will fall into the perfect situation and you just have to go with it. Other times, it will be super-obvious you are going out of your way. It should be like a ping-pong conversation. Is he serving back, or are you literally talking at him? As long as you are talking about neutral things, not how hot he is or complimenting him, just see how it plays out. Keep in mind this is a super-rare situation. I never advise starting a conversation in an app, let him make that first step.
Bottom Line…
Women are natural planners and when a man slips out of our fingers, it’s infuriating. There is no reason to make yourself suffer over and over. If you avoid the rejection from the start, it will make dating easier. Lean back and see if he takes action or not. It will save a lot of confusion and headache down the road. However, sometimes you just fall into the perfect situation to talk to him first. Seize that opportunity, just don’t ask him out or tell him he is super hot. Keep compliments to a minimum. See if he continues to talk to you. Don’t hold him hostage with your conversation. Always keep it brief and see if he seeks you out later.
Mostly Casual 